Irrelevance (Offline)  

About Irrelevance

Name

Irrelevance.

Where I study

Not important.

Occupation

Full time bad ass.

Orientation

Socially awkward responses.

Star Sign

Sagittarius

About me

In chronological order:

Bank temp.
Trolley and checkout boy.
Pharmacy dispensing assistant.
Ex-poly student - potatoes gonna potate.
Waiter.
Psychometric guinea pig.
Scientist.
Masters student - would class current university as 'not too shabby'.

Academic Info

You can have a reaction which works perfectly fine. For years and years there's no trouble and then one day it suddenly stops working. You'll never solve the cause unless you understand theory on the most fundamental of levels.

At an ex-poly university, I've learnt:

-How to escape fights with wit and rhetoric.
-All current knowledge expressed about the Pharmaceutical industry.
-Yorkshire and Scouse girls, in particular, are susceptible to my charms.
-The best place to pick up women is not a bar, not a library, not a coffee shop but a HPLC lab.
-Hopes and dreams of what the future holds.

At a Russel Group university, I've learnt:

-Academics are pretty ****ing weird.
-RG uni's have so much damn money.
-If running low on conversation material, talk about work or politics. Everybody loves talking about work and politics. Everybody. If you go to a RG university, you'll thank me later.
-Hating politics since I've been aware of it hasn't worked out in my favour.
-When people talk ivory towers, it's more of a sweaty office containing 12 people and 13 chairs. Seriously.

Interests

If you've got red hair and have a Scottish accent like Karen Gillan you will inadvertently give me an erection and a burning desire to put a ring on it. Simultaneously.

Not being a hipster.

Wearing suits.

~ Romantic Tragedies ~

She was amazing. Really. Funny, intelligent, charming and she could drink. The moment was tender and the mood was right. I tell her she's beautiful. Her reaction is a mixed one. I sit there with a nervous expression whilst trying to decipher hers. Without mercy, she tells me she's a lesbian.
How depressing.

Wow. Words struggle to do her justice. There was that initial attraction and the mutual spark was undeniable. I told her jokes, she laughed and smiled shyly. The smile would dwindle as I looked away but in the corner of my eye, I could see it grow as she turned in the opposite direction to hide it. It was as if she knew and was teasing me with her beauty. We talk some more and trade interests. I tell her this, she tells me that. We talk abut TV. An invitation to go back to hers. It's rousing, stirring and nerve racking all at the same time. She says we can watch Friends together...I ****ing hate Friends.
To think I loved her.

Our eyes met in stunned silence over the ready meals at Tesco's. It was winter time and she was dressed appropriately. My hand hovered over hers as time felt like it stopped. The mysterious girl buries her face into her woolen, brightly coloured scarf and I can tell from her eyes she's smiling. My heart's a-flutter and I gesture towards the now oh so trivial box, shyly telling her to take it and that I didn't mind. She says thanks and walks off and I stand there. Open mouthed. Gormless. She turns and gives one last blushy smile before walking into an acquaintance - it was the girl who I've yet to call from last night. Time to quickly make my exit and avoid getting slapped to death.
Woe is me.