daveywavey (Offline)

Hi, your erotic story wasn't great there was nothing erotic about it - no build up to the nakedness whatever and as other people have said a little jarred...

Some of the content might not be your cup of tea but the nifty archive (www.nifty.org) has a lot of erotic fiction if you want to to read something that will help to develop your technique a bit.

D

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