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Freind died of dehydration-Suicide or not?

I have lost a friend recently. He attempted suicide a few weeks ago with paracetamol and failed and has recently been self harming.
2 days ago, I was told he had died and the post mortem revealed dehydration, and accidental death as the cause. He had placed a sick bucket beside his bed and rung a few other freinds to say he was suffering vomiting/ diarhoea. During the time he was supposed to be ill, I'm sure I saw him cycling on a warm afternoon, with a hoodie on and a hat under his helmet, carrying and overstuffed backpack and panniers uphill. I did mean to speak to him, but I was in a hurry and he wouldn't answer his phone later.
I'm wondering if he deliberately did this to himself. Can anyone tell me given the above? Help, I feel really guilty, like I should have done more. I'm suffering from depression myself already and this is just horrible for me.

Reply 1

Sapphire_Eyes

*hugs*

I'm sorry to hear that this happened wherever this had an effect, i cant tell but you shouldnt feel guilty for his death.
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ here they might help you

but please dont feel guilty about his death, just think of the happy times you two shared

Reply 2

TEZKesquire

oh god, you poor thing. it's not your fault, whatever you feel like you could or should have done.
if that was him you saw, it does sound deliberate, especially with his previous attempts.
wait until the post-mortem or inquest or whatever (i don't know legal terms!) before drawing conclusions, though. it oculd be that the dehydration was an incidental result of something else - medicines or something.
i send condolences for you and your friends.

Reply 3

Geritak

OP, this was not your fault. I'm afraid it probably does sound like his death was deliberate, but don't blame yourself - it sounds like you have enough to deal with. If he was determined to die (and you'd have to be to dehydrate yourself like that), then there would have been very little you could have done to stop him. I'm really sorry - this seems like a horrible situation.

Look after yourself.

Reply 4

Dangercrazydave

This isn't a joke. I'm having a hard time at the moment. E.g. I would normally be asleep at this time, but can't.

Reply 5

TommyWannabe

I really wouldn't think that it was deliberate, it takes an awful lot to kill yourself through dehydration, and somebody would have noticed before he passed away.

Reply 6

grammar_king

Sorry and all, but this doesn't sound like suicide to me. There are much better ways.

Reply 7

ChloeGsy

although all you've said does point to suicide, and it does seem probably, i agree with many above in that there are much better/quicker/easier ways to commit suicide. dehydration is pretty hardcore, very difficult to maintain and difficult to go unnoticed.
maybe the day you saw your friend, he was maybe trying to just give himself a hard time over something, rather than contributing to the dehydration deliberately.
obviously all this is speculation OP, but what i can say is that it's not your fault. if this was suicide then nothing you could have done or said would have stopped your friend as he'd already tried and would continue until he succeeded i imagine.
seriously, i know it must be a really really hard time for you and your friends, and i pass on my condolences, but try not to focus on how this may, in some messed up way, be your fault - it wasn't.

try to keep smiling :smile:

Reply 8

Joanna May

I highly doubt he committed suicide. There are much more efficient ways of doing so than dehydration, and I can't imagine anyone would put themselves through that deliberately, even if they were suicidal. I think it just sounds like a tragic accident to me.

Reply 9

patrickthestarfish

Joanna May

Just fifty minutes until midnight *finger itches*

Agreed completely!
Although mine isn't worth anything :mad:

Reply 10

Joanna May

patrickthestarfish

Agreed completely!
Although mine isn't worth anything :mad:

Consider mine for both of us :smile:

Even if the OP were joking, which I doubt, her follow up comments are despicable enough that she deserves all the neg she gets. She just sent me a PM saying that she won't respond to me in public because "I'm clearly looking for attention" XD

Reply 11

Clubber Lang

if your friend was really suicidal there was ltitle you could have done anyway - wouldn;t beat myself up over it.

Reply 12

patrickthestarfish

Joanna May

Consider mine for both of us :smile:

Jeez, how ludicrus.
It doesn't exactly look like a joke :confused:

It's a tragic thing to have to deal with, OP especially since you feel partly to blame. People often have a tendancy to blame themselves when terrible things happen, even if there was probably nothing anyone could have done to prevent it.

Reply 13

geminilady

Im sorry OP about the loss of your friend. You do not have any reason to feel guilty. When people commit suicide, they know they will commit suicide, most people won't and can't talk them out of it once they have made their minds up. Like another person said bereavement counselling would be a good idea. If you want to talk or anything, feel free to PM me.

best of luck, try and keep yourself busy, and surround yourself with people you can talk to or your family

Reply 14

Floozie

Dangercrazydave

Please don't feel guilty.

It is possible to died of dehydration due to sickness and diarrhoea, especially if he was depressed and perhaps not looking after himself as well as he should have been.

I'm sure your friend would not like to think that you are feeling guilty for his death. Maybe councilling would help if you are dwelling on things too much?

Reply 15

streetfighter5

I didn't hear of this on the news - surely it would have been a main headline?
Also, my condolences OP.

Reply 16

LQT

Dont blame yourself hunni, he attempted suicde before its not your fault!! Maybe the dehydration was accidental maybe it wasn't. Clearly he wasnt happy in this lifetime as he attempted previously. My prayers are with you and his family!!

Reply 17

candy x

streetfighter5

I didn't hear of this on the news - surely it would have been a main headline?
Also, my condolences OP.

do you really think all deaths make the news??? people die from suiside everyday, they dont all make the papers!!!

OP, my condolences, must be terrible but you musnt blame your self. from your friends history, if you had managed to stop him this time he would of only found another way.