hey guys can you please read through this letter draft I have for requesting work experience. Is it any good and how can i improve please be critical.
Also should I keep the stuff about trying for other volunteering in or does this stuff make it too long.
(my address on right)
(Their address)
Dear Doctor,
I am writing to you regarding a temporary work experience placement at (hospital name) in the Cardiology department.
I am fifteen years old and attend (school name). At present, I am doing 11 GCSEs and one AS level. My predicted grades for all these GCSEs are A*s. Within school hours, I am a member of the school council and this helps me to exercise my communication skills and build on my teamwork skills. Outside of school time, I volunteer at my local charity shop where I am able to serve customers and contribute to the charity. I would like to be a doctor in the future because it would allow me to work in a team and contribute to saving people’s lives which is very important to me.
I am dedicated to furthering my knowledge about medicine in order to fully confirm being a doctor as my future career. I am very enthusiastic about medicine and have already been trying to broaden my knowledge about it. I am particularly interested in medical ethics and read around this subject. I am eager to gain experience working with people who have disabilities and have been attending training sessions which will prepare me to help autistic children at my local church hall. I have also applied to work with WRVS as part of their ‘Greeting and Guiding’ scheme in (hospital name). However I believe the best experience for me would be actual work experience in a hospital because I would at first-hand see the work of leading clinicians and I would gain real insight into about the challenges involved in this incredible vocation.
I would like my work experience to be in the Cardiology department particularly because the heart is a major organ and many of the diseases and conditions of the heart can be life-threatening. However the work is not only challenging because of the importance of the heart but also because of the variety of different diseases related to the heart, resulting in great variety in the type of work a cardiologist might do. I feel that this variety in work and also the importance of the work means that shadowing the work of a cardiologist would be most beneficial.
I understand what a demanding job being a cardiologist is and therefore would be very flexible about the dates for the work experience. I also hope my letter has shown how dedicated and enthusiastic I am about Medicine as my career choice. I am grateful that you took time to read this letter and would appreciate it if you could allow me to gain work experience in your department. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
(my name)
thanks for reading the letter guys please give me tips on how to improve it