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Reply 1
I can assure you girls do this too! I think sometimes you just realise that the person's not right for you and there's no point in forcing it because in the end, you just make two people very unhappy.

Relationships shouldn't be THAT challenging in the beginning. You know you've got something worth fighting for when you aren't asked to fight for it.

- Becky
Reply 2
Original post by beckylou67
I can assure you girls do this too! I think sometimes you just realise that the person's not right for you and there's no point in forcing it because in the end, you just make two people very unhappy.

Relationships shouldn't be THAT challenging in the beginning. You know you've got something worth fighting for when you aren't asked to fight for it.

- Becky


Yeah, I agree. But there's this guy who always does this to me. He'll flirt with me/tells me what he thinks of me but then acts cold with me the next day. And when I try to talk to him in a normal non-flirty way, he just ignores me or completely avoids me. It's like he only communicates with me in a flirty way, and to be honest, I don't know what to make of that :/
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, I agree. But there's this guy who always does this to me. He'll flirt with me/tells me what he thinks of me but then acts cold with me the next day. And when I try to talk to him in a normal non-flirty way, he just ignores me or completely avoids me. It's like he only communicates with me in a flirty way, and to be honest, I don't know what to make of that :/


He wishes he had someone to have sex with. He's just had a w**k.
Reply 4
Original post by Phil2008
He wishes he had someone to have sex with. He's just had a w**k.


Loool!!

So he doesn't actually like me?? So basically, I'm just someone he can have a flirt with??

:angry: wait and till I see him and rip his balls now!!
Reply 5
Original post by Foo.mp3
Won't put out


What do you mean?
I'm a girl, and the reason is mainly because you are nothing more than a 'looker' ...if your friendship/relationship is based on being flirtatious - forget it...he sees you as nothing more than someone he wants to 'HOOK UP WITH' :wink: ...
He doesn't know the real you, so will never ask you out to be his girlfriend/wifey...guys are funny that way..you can flirt until pigs can fly, but don't expect to be asked out -it's the harsh truth but yeah

:/

Don't be trapped even if he tells you something personal that you think no one else will know - i got my heartbroken thinking that I knew something not a lot of girls would know and that it was going somewhere, it went somewhere for sure - a block -_- it's not worth it...
Reply 7
Original post by ToyosiBaby
I'm a girl, and the reason is mainly because you are nothing more than a 'looker' ...if your friendship/relationship is based on being flirtatious - forget it...he sees you as nothing more than someone he wants to 'HOOK UP WITH' :wink: ...
He doesn't know the real you, so will never ask you out to be his girlfriend/wifey...guys are funny that way..you can flirt until pigs can fly, but don't expect to be asked out -it's the harsh truth but yeah

:/

Don't be trapped even if he tells you something personal that you think no one else will know - i got my heartbroken thinking that I knew something not a lot of girls would know and that it was going somewhere, it went somewhere for sure - a block -_- it's not worth it...


I ain't trying to get him to ask me out. He knows the real me' because we've been friends for a very, very long time. That's why I don't quite get his drama. I just want him to talk to me in a normal way. Now it's like as though he's pissed off with me. Do you expect a guy to act cold or avoid you just because you said you don't wanna flirt?

This guy is a joke if he thinks he's gonna get some action!! :angry:
Original post by Anonymous
I ain't trying to get him to ask me out. He knows the real me' because we've been friends for a very, very long time. That's why I don't quite get his drama. I just want him to talk to me in a normal way. Now it's like as though he's pissed off with me. Do you expect a guy to act cold or avoid you just because you said you don't wanna flirt?

This guy is a joke if he thinks he's gonna get some action!! :angry:


Yes honestly I would..because I have been flirty with many guys and get this reaction 'cold' or 'one word answers' ...all I can say is that it is NOT right! i'm not condoning this behaviour...BUT guys think VERY differently to girls..and okay you may be friends..but it's a friendship built on flirty-ness ...and you should not decieve yourself because you clearly like him -just saying i know the signs lol - and wouldn't be bothered if all he want to do is :wink: :wink: 'poke' you ...clearly you want more than that...hence why I said relationship...but he may not think he is going to get it, and may feel like he is sending mixed signals...which is why he is cold...guys are like sores

Pop up when they want, but when they leave..they leave a scar..they return again fresh and then leave...NOT ALL GUYS though...but this guy is definitely a sore guy..lol -weird metaphor I know but you know loool
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Why do guys turn cold or distant after flirting with a girl?? Why do guys do this??


cos they may seem stuck up and self-interested, thats a massive turn off
Reply 10
Original post by ToyosiBaby
Yes honestly I would..because I have been flirty with many guys and get this reaction 'cold' or 'one word answers' ...all I can say is that it is NOT right! i'm not condoning this behaviour...BUT guys think VERY differently to girls..and okay you may be friends..but it's a friendship built on flirty-ness ...and you should not decieve yourself because you clearly like him -just saying i know the signs lol - and wouldn't be bothered if all he want to do is :wink: :wink: 'poke' you ...clearly you want more than that...hence why I said relationship...but he may not think he is going to get it, and may feel like he is sending mixed signals...which is why he is cold...guys are like sores

Pop up when they want, but when they leave..they leave a scar..they return again fresh and then leave...NOT ALL GUYS though...but this guy is definitely a sore guy..lol -weird metaphor I know but you know loool


First of all, you're completely wrong. No, I don't like him. Well not in that way. Yes, I care about him..but that doesn't mean I want him. So therefore, I am not decieving myself. The problem is yeah, I don't want him to think that he can't communicate with me via flirting because I don't want a friendship with him which he flirts with me. I want a normal friendship and that's pretty much it. I don't get why he doesn't really talk to me now, I'm not really ask him much.

Me: no flirting
Him: cold
Me: what the ****!!
Result: no friendship :/
Reply 11
Original post by Foo.mp3
If I get the vibe that she's not going to put out (relatively quickly) e.g. she's a virgin, prudish, an 'only in relationships' kinda girl etc, then I'm unlikely to bother hitting on her with quite the same intensity


OP, that'll be the reason why the guy you're talking about appears to act cold with you. He won't be interested in developing any kind of emotional bond with because that would complicate matters and kind of get in the way of what he's looking for.
Reply 12
Original post by Foo.mp3
If I get the vibe that she's not going to put out (relatively quickly) e.g. she's a virgin, prudish, an 'only in relationships' kinda girl etc, then I'm unlikely to bother hitting on her with quite the same intensity


But why can't you just be friends with her without hitting on her if she won't put out?

No wonder us girls think that most guys just want a quick shag lol
Become a lesbian. :nothing:
Reply 14
Original post by Lucia.
OP, that'll be the reason why the guy you're talking about appears to act cold with you. He won't be interested in developing any kind of emotional bond with because that would complicate matters and kind of get in the way of what he's looking for.


So all my friend is looking for is a chance to get between my legs and if he knows that will never happen, he doesn't wanna know me?

Nice :frown:
Reply 15
Original post by Vikki1805
Become a lesbian. :nothing:


Hahaha, nah :smile:

Although girls are less complicated than guys
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
So all my friend is looking for is a chance to get between my legs and if he knows that will never happen, he doesn't wanna know me?

Nice :frown:


I don't know your situation so I might have jumped the gun a bit. I've just tried to be friends with guys before who don't want to know me unless I'm flirting with them. It could be heading towards the fact he might want something more casual/sexual than you and in that case you have to make the distinction in your behaviour between friends and something else.
Reply 17
Original post by Foo.mp3
Not necessarily about complication - some emotional bonds are fine - it's more about prospects for seeing a healthy return on my investment in good time :tongue:

I never said I couldn't just be friends :smile:

If I got the distinct impression from the start that she simply wasn't interested in me, or the type of relations I wanted, then I wouldn't crack onto a girl in the first place

Well yes, that is the primary motivation for some guys

For me it's a little more complicated than that but atm it does tend to boil down to seeking girls out who are more concerned with enjoying me than depending on me necessarily :rolleyes:


Loool you're quite a funny guy foo :smile:. Anyways, the thing is I told him not to flirt with me once and then he started acting a bit cold after I had said that. Then he started doing it again and flirted back because I was scared to say no again because of the way he reacted the first time. So I didn't really wanna lose him. But when the flirting did happen, I'd just act normal about things and carry on the friendship whereas he'd just act like a complete dick!! :/
Reply 18
Original post by Lucia.
I don't know your situation so I might have jumped the gun a bit. I've just tried to be friends with guys before who don't want to know me unless I'm flirting with them. It could be heading towards the fact he might want something more casual/sexual than you and in that case you have to make the distinction in your behaviour between friends and something else.


Casual in what way? I have made the distinction but he flirts and then acts awkward and I just wanted it to STOP because it became so repetitive. I was like what the **** this needs to be sorted out otherwise both of us will get hurt or whatever. He didn't even listen or take responsibility to sort things out with me.

Prick.
Original post by Anonymous
Hahaha, nah :smile:

Although girls are less complicated than guys


Ooh, I wouldn't be so sure!
I don't think I could date women, too much drama! :mmm:
But as for your issue in hand, men and women both do that sometimes. There could be a couple of reasons for it...
A) He just looks at you as a 'sex object' (without trying to upset you here) and therefore he doesn't feel a need to socialise with you or make contact with you, unless it's at a time where he's 'horny' or just wanting a flirt, and thinks he'll get something out of it.
B) He could be doing it as a mind twister. He may genuinely like you but almost wants you to pine after him. Therefore if he's all flirty and you're eating it out of his hands, then he's cold and blanking you, he wants you to be sat there having the thoughts you're having, questioning it all! It sounds very silly, but some people do things like this.

For now though, I shall leave you a song to cheer you up... :wink: