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Depression Society MKVI

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What exactly do you get as a sub?

I'll admit I've considered it (mostly for the funky coloured usernames), but my finances are stretched tighter than Eric Pickle's trampoline, so everything's got a "cost v worth" consideration before I buy it.


However, 'spoons haven't rejected my job application straight out of hand like last time I applied, so I'm quite hopeful of at least an interview or something this time. :crossedf:
Original post by ParadoxSocks

Original post by ParadoxSocks
:biggrin: Hee! Thanks for the rep! Oh this is pleasant. I was a sub for a month once but I had to let it go and it was heartbreaking. Totally going to be playing with all of the new settings this evening :biggrin:


Awesome :biggrin:
Original post by Sabertooth
I haven't done it in exactly a year and still get the worst urges to. I'm not sure if the urges ever go away. :frown:


That's good to know. Well done for managing to stay strong though.
Original post by Alofleicester

Original post by Alofleicester
What exactly do you get as a sub?

I'll admit I've considered it (mostly for the funky coloured usernames), but my finances are stretched tighter than Eric Pickle's trampoline, so everything's got a "cost v worth" consideration before I buy it.


However, 'spoons haven't rejected my job application straight out of hand like last time I applied, so I'm quite hopeful of at least an interview or something this time. :crossedf:


A lot! You wouldn't wanna go back :no:

To name as much as I can remember:

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(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Alofleicester

I'll admit I've considered it (mostly for the funky coloured usernames), but my finances are stretched tighter than Eric Pickle's trampoline, so everything's got a "cost v worth" consideration before I buy it.
:crossedf:


:laugh: Never has a name been more suited to a person.
Reply 2625

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Original post by kka25

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What's up, man? :console:
Original post by kka25

Original post by kka25

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:itsme:
I don't really know what I should say, except that this kind of thread is exactly what I needed.
I worry about the most miniscule things weeks in advance. I started feeling upset and incredibly stressed when I was fifteen. I tried (and failed) to harm myself for the first time then as well.
I feel like with the years my worrying and my listlessness and overall sadness (I cannot go a day without feel sad about something or another) grows worse.
Reply 2629
Got some sleep :smile: Yay for sleepy pills. Only an hour or two at a time, but all added together makes six hours. Can't keep relying on the pills though :frown:

On another note, it is half 2 and I have done NOTHING today. (apart from eating a bowl of cereal and turning on my laptop) Fail. Need to do some work - gonna get fired otherwise. :frown: Can't seem to get myself up before midday despite not sleeping most nights. I feel so strung out at the moment, constantly on edge constantly tired, nothing's real. What I wouldn't do for 8 hours of natural, snuggly, satisfying sleep.

Can't concentrate on anything. Reading a simple book and my brain is running at a quarter speed. No sense of time anymore, I'll stare into the distance for a couple of minutes, look at the clock and it's 20 minutes later. Once did that for nearly an hour. Isolating myself from my friends. Even though I know I shouldn't, I don't want to bring them down by having to be around me. Why would they want to anyway? I know they're all thinking I'm just **** at life anyway. Always felt on the outside looking in, always felt like the one that's kept around so that others can compare themselves to me and feel better.

Nothing is fun anymore. Sometimes I make myself go out and try to do things that are 'fun' but end up crying because they are not. Want my appetite back. Kinda 'forgot' to eat for a week or 2. Lost lots of weight and felt worse. Now just reminding myself to eat is a massive chore.

I feel like someone has given me a stupid pill. Maybe I could concentrate on stuff if it didn't feel like there was someone screaming in my head all the time. If I want to get something done, even something simple, I have to keep talking to myself to remind myself what I'm supposed to be doing. "Get coat, get coat, put on shoes, put on shoes" etc.

Seeing giant spiders sometimes because I'm so tired. I know they're not really there, but they're still ****ers.

Just want everything to stop. Want to be normal. Sorry for the long navel gazing post guys. Just needed to get things out. It's getting too crowded in here :frown:
Reply 2630
Original post by Sabertooth
I haven't done it in exactly a year and still get the worst urges to. I'm not sure if the urges ever go away. :frown:


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Anymore sleep last night? :redface:
Reply 2631
Original post by kka25

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What's up? :console:

Edit: Can someone please tell me how to quote lots of people in the same post? (not very good at internets...:colondollar:)
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by SeaJay

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Anymore sleep last night? :redface:


I also managed to quit smoking by finishing a pack and never buying anymore. I have strong willpower, that's one thing about me.

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Nope, got maybe an hour and that was broken into 10minute chunks. I fall asleep, realize I'm asleep, then wake up with a jerk terrified. Feel absolutely awful.

Original post by SeaJay
Got some sleep :smile: Yay for sleepy pills. Only an hour or two at a time, but all added together makes six hours. Can't keep relying on the pills though :frown:

On another note, it is half 2 and I have done NOTHING today. (apart from eating a bowl of cereal and turning on my laptop) Fail. Need to do some work - gonna get fired otherwise. :frown: Can't seem to get myself up before midday despite not sleeping most nights. I feel so strung out at the moment, constantly on edge constantly tired, nothing's real. What I wouldn't do for 8 hours of natural, snuggly, satisfying sleep.

Can't concentrate on anything. Reading a simple book and my brain is running at a quarter speed. No sense of time anymore, I'll stare into the distance for a couple of minutes, look at the clock and it's 20 minutes later. Once did that for nearly an hour. Isolating myself from my friends. Even though I know I shouldn't, I don't want to bring them down by having to be around me. Why would they want to anyway? I know they're all thinking I'm just **** at life anyway. Always felt on the outside looking in, always felt like the one that's kept around so that others can compare themselves to me and feel better.

Nothing is fun anymore. Sometimes I make myself go out and try to do things that are 'fun' but end up crying because they are not. Want my appetite back. Kinda 'forgot' to eat for a week or 2. Lost lots of weight and felt worse. Now just reminding myself to eat is a massive chore.

I feel like someone has given me a stupid pill. Maybe I could concentrate on stuff if it didn't feel like there was someone screaming in my head all the time. If I want to get something done, even something simple, I have to keep talking to myself to remind myself what I'm supposed to be doing. "Get coat, get coat, put on shoes, put on shoes" etc.

Seeing giant spiders sometimes because I'm so tired. I know they're not really there, but they're still ****ers.

Just want everything to stop. Want to be normal. Sorry for the long navel gazing post guys. Just needed to get things out. It's getting too crowded in here :frown:


:hugs: I can sympathize with so much of this. Nothing is fun, your brain is mush, constantly on edge, constantly exhausted....I dunno what to suggest though. I wish I did. Having a routine might help, eat at set times then there's no forgetting to eat. You can even set an alarm clock for it.

Is there a reason you can't sleep?
Reply 2633
Original post by SeaJay

Original post by SeaJay
What's up? :console:

Edit: Can someone please tell me how to quote lots of people in the same post? (not very good at internets...:colondollar:)
Click the button to the right of 'Quote'
Original post by SeaJay
What's up? :console:

Edit: Can someone please tell me how to quote lots of people in the same post? (not very good at internets...:colondollar:)


The button next to the quote button is multi-quote, click it for all the posts you want then click the regular quote button. :smile:
I'm meant to be phoning a couple of people today but just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I mean ffs it's only like 2 phone calls why am I making such a big deal out of it?
Met up with a couple of friends who are at uni atm and it was nice seeing them, but on the way home I just wanted to burst into tears. I'm so stupid and useless compared to them. I don't deserve such good friends they're so lovely and even when I accidentally let something slip they didn't push the issue.

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Reply 2636
Original post by Sabertooth
I also managed to quit smoking by finishing a pack and never buying anymore. I have strong willpower, that's one thing about me.

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Nope, got maybe an hour and that was broken into 10minute chunks. I fall asleep, realize I'm asleep, then wake up with a jerk terrified. Feel absolutely awful.

:hugs: I can sympathize with so much of this. Nothing is fun, your brain is mush, constantly on edge, constantly exhausted....I dunno what to suggest though. I wish I did. Having a routine might help, eat at set times then there's no forgetting to eat. You can even set an alarm clock for it.

Is there a reason you can't sleep?


Brain won't switch off. It feels like a punishment for being a failure. It also feels like there is someone screaming in my head - not all the time, but it's a bit of a jolt and stops me from sleeping.

I'm sorry you had another crappy night. :frown: Can you tell the voices to bugger off? Like, outloud: "**** off, I'm stronger than you, you will not win because hey - you haven't yet and you've had enough time already":cheeky:

Gonna get a routine tomorrow, thanks. Will try to get up at a decent time even if I'm tired.

Original post by Jackso
Click the button to the right of 'Quote'



Thank you :smile:
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks! Good to know I'm not the only one! :tongue:

That's great! :biggrin:

It's not stupid and whiny at all. Those things would be upsetting to anyone, not nice to feel left out, especially when you're feeling down anyway. :hugs:
Just have to do what you feel up to and not be too hard on yourself. Good luck with the interview tomorrow! I'm sure you could never disappoint your grandad! :hugs:

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No problem! :tongue:

I'm pretty good at the moment thanks. Had dinner with my friend and she's staying over tonight, she's at a society thing at the moment. Had a good chat and she's putting me in my place, telling me to sort myself out, in a nice way. :tongue:
She doesn't know about the depression but I told her the situation with uni work and that I'm lacking energy. Tonight should be fun, then have counselling and meeting with mental health man tomorrow, not sure what will happen, but feeling a bit more positive again, just hope it lasts!


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Good stuff! Sounds like she's really helping you :jumphug:

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Has anybody heard from kate_12 recently? She hasn't posed in a while.
Original post by SeaJay
Brain won't switch off. It feels like a punishment for being a failure. It also feels like there is someone screaming in my head - not all the time, but it's a bit of a jolt and stops me from sleeping.

I'm sorry you had another crappy night. :frown: Can you tell the voices to bugger off? Like, outloud: "**** off, I'm stronger than you, you will not win because hey - you haven't yet and you've had enough time already":cheeky:

Gonna get a routine tomorrow, thanks. Will try to get up at a decent time even if I'm tired.


Hmmm, do you actually hear someone screaming or is it just your thoughts running through really fast and out of control? Are you on any medication? Why do you feel like you're a failure?

Yeah I've tried telling them, I spend most of the night arguing back with them but it just makes me feel crazy and makes them laugh. At least I'm not lonely. :tongue: The thing is I'm pretty sure they are going to win because it seems like the only logical conclusion to all of this.