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Depression Society MKVI

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Original post by Nice Marmite
Thanks very much for the response. I really needed to compare experiences because I googled some stuff about SH and some of the information was really, really different to my own experience. Can I ask one last question? How do you actually feel when you decide to SH in the evening and while you're doing it? Sorry, I know this is really personal so feel free not to answer. Thank you, hope you're having a good day too :smile:



Like most things to do with people, there is no set right or wrong way to go about things... So if it's not 100% you, it doesn't mean it's not the same thing if that makes sense. People don't absorb textbooks at birth :tongue:

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Reply 2641
Original post by Sabertooth
Hmmm, do you actually hear someone screaming or is it just your thoughts running through really fast and out of control? Are you on any medication? Why do you feel like you're a failure?


No, that's the weird thing. It's definitely in my head and not aural, but that's the only way I can describe it - like a pulse of noise in the middle of my brain that tenses everything up. I'm on fluoxetine - It has definitely helped to level out my mood (well, much of the time).

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Original post by Sabertooth
Yeah I've tried telling them, I spend most of the night arguing back with them but it just makes me feel crazy and makes them laugh. At least I'm not lonely. :tongue: The thing is I'm pretty sure they are going to win because it seems like the only logical conclusion to all of this.


Don't know what to say as I'm not exactly on top form myself, but you've got this far and you've won every single battle yet. The odds are pretty stacked in your favour. You've got a psych appointment coming up? Just make sure you are completely honest with them about what's going on. That's the only way they can properly help you :hugs:
Original post by Anonymous

Original post by Anonymous
Has anybody heard from kate_12 recently? She hasn't posed in a while.


Nope :nope: Although, she wasn't as regular/frequent a poster and others on here :nah:

She was last active 18 hours ago :yy:
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by SeaJay
No, that's the weird thing. It's definitely in my head and not aural, but that's the only way I can describe it - like a pulse of noise in the middle of my brain that tenses everything up. I'm on fluoxetine - It has definitely helped to level out my mood (well, much of the time).

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Don't know what to say as I'm not exactly on top form myself, but you've got this far and you've won every single battle yet. The odds are pretty stacked in your favour. You've got a psych appointment coming up? Just make sure you are completely honest with them about what's going on. That's the only way they can properly help you :hugs:

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Got myself an appointment with the disability office next Tuesday, going to see what they suggest about my 9ams and my lack of motivation and ability to work. Hopefully they'll have some nice solutions and I can own second year! Got my results for first semester back today and I'm pleasantly surprised - considering what I went through emotionally last semester, skipping classes, staying in Manchester all the time, adjusting to being alone and some other crap that I haven't spoken about on here, I'm really pleased. Also, I got nearly 50% in stats, I failed first year stats and had to resit it so I'm really pleased with that :biggrin:
Original post by kiss_me_now9
Like most things to do with people, there is no set right or wrong way to go about things... So if it's not 100% you, it doesn't mean it's not the same thing if that makes sense. People don't absorb textbooks at birth :tongue:

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Thanks again for another enlightening post. I do feel somewhat reassured and far less alone now, especially your explanation of the second method of SH. I always imagined that other people were fairly hysterical which is not how I experienced it. Thanks again :ta:
Original post by kiss_me_now9


Got myself an appointment with the disability office next Tuesday, going to see what they suggest about my 9ams and my lack of motivation and ability to work. Hopefully they'll have some nice solutions and I can own second year! Got my results for first semester back today and I'm pleasantly surprised - considering what I went through emotionally last semester, skipping classes, staying in Manchester all the time, adjusting to being alone and some other crap that I haven't spoken about on here, I'm really pleased. Also, I got nearly 50% in stats, I failed first year stats and had to resit it so I'm really pleased with that :biggrin:


Well done with your results, it's always good to know that these things aren't going as badly as you think they are. :smile: Good luck with the disability office I'm sure they'll have some good suggestions to help.
Original post by ViceVersa
Nope :nope: Although, she wasn't as regular/frequent a poster and others on here :nah:

She was last active 18 hours ago :yy:


Ahh, at least she's active :smile:
Original post by Anonymous

Original post by Anonymous
Ahh, at least she's active :smile:


Yep :smile:
Reply 2648
Original post by rmhumphries
Hope you feel ok today :hugs:


I'm not too bad. No hangover, but I feel completely empty.

I remembered some things last night that I'd forgotten. Bad stuff.
Reply 2649
Original post by kiss_me_now9

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Got myself an appointment with the disability office next Tuesday, going to see what they suggest about my 9ams and my lack of motivation and ability to work. Hopefully they'll have some nice solutions and I can own second year! Got my results for first semester back today and I'm pleasantly surprised - considering what I went through emotionally last semester, skipping classes, staying in Manchester all the time, adjusting to being alone and some other crap that I haven't spoken about on here, I'm really pleased. Also, I got nearly 50% in stats, I failed first year stats and had to resit it so I'm really pleased with that :biggrin:


Thank you so much, lovely. Read that through a few times and feel a little calmer. Not sure what I'm going to do about boyfriend situ :frown: He's my rock, I do love him, but wonder if this is enough. It's not fair on him, I know. Perhaps it is just down to how I am right now.

Not getting counselling - I just thought that I wouldn't want to take it away from someone who really needs it. Also, there's a six month waiting list, don't know if there's any point waiting that long. Perhaps I should put my name down anyway - I can always ring up and cancel nearer the time I suppose.

Glad you've had some good news :smile: That's awesome :smile:
Original post by SeaJay
Thank you so much, lovely. Read that through a few times and feel a little calmer. Not sure what I'm going to do about boyfriend situ :frown: He's my rock, I do love him, but wonder if this is enough. It's not fair on him, I know. Perhaps it is just down to how I am right now.

Not getting counselling - I just thought that I wouldn't want to take it away from someone who really needs it. Also, there's a six month waiting list, don't know if there's any point waiting that long. Perhaps I should put my name down anyway - I can always ring up and cancel nearer the time I suppose.

Glad you've had some good news :smile: That's awesome :smile:

Don't make any decisions when you're not 100%, you'll only regret them.

I'm fairly certain your university service will not have a 6 month waiting list - mine has a long waiting list but it's closer to a month than 6. Either way, please put your name down for it; why do you not deserve it over someone else? I know it's not a popular opinion but you have to be selfish sometimes and you can't deny yourself a treatment that you need because 'someone else might want it too'. Any good counselling service will prioritize patients based on their evaluations and so you'll get your rightful place in the queue and won't take away from anyone else.
Reply 2651
Original post by Nut.
I'm not too bad. No hangover, but I feel completely empty.

I remembered some things last night that I'd forgotten. Bad stuff.


Thats why I dropped the alcohol, tended to bring back memories that I just couldnt deal with.
Original post by Anonymous

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Good stuff! Sounds like she's really helping you :jumphug:

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Think I managed to talk to the counsellor a bit more than normal, felt good.
Mental health man suggested getting screened for aspergers, wasn't expecting that to be honest. :K:
Reply 2653
Original post by warp2125
Thats why I dropped the alcohol, tended to bring back memories that I just couldnt deal with.


Trouble is, I always have memories that I can't deal with. I forget certain things, but not most of it.

I think for about an hour last night I was as at peace as I've been in the past 4 and a half years. I just completely forgot.

Then came the sobering up, the crying, and the panicking that I'd just consumed 600kcals worth of red wine and would no doubt wake up the next morning 5 stone heavier.

**** you brain. How is it that I know my thoughts are distorted, yet I believe them at the same time? More than believing, I cling to them.

I hate myself and I deserve the pain and the punishment, but at the same time I just want it all to stop.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 2654
Original post by Nut.
Trouble is, I always have memories that I can't deal with. I forget certain things, but not most of it.

I think for about an hour last night I was as at peace as I've been in the past 4 and a half years. I just completely forgot.

Then came the sobering up, the crying, and the panicking that I'd just consumed 600kcals worth of red wine and would no dout wake up the next morning 5 stone heavier.

**** you brain. How is it that I know my thoughts are distorted, yet I believe them at the same time? More than believing, I cling to them.

I hate myself and I deserve the pain and the punishment, but at the same time I just want it all to stop.



This will sound abit stupid.. but we cling to our distorted thoughts for a form of protection.. least thats what I have found out with myself... because I cant trust people around me my thoughts were that everyone was out to get me.... so I kept people at a distance.

prolly sounds stupid.. sorry shouldnt have bought it up.
Reply 2655
I dont mind having a social drink... but I wont go back to drinking all weekend on my own. God, when I think about the stupid things I have said and done....
Reply 2656
Ouch, I have read that the withdrawal can be harsh...Im just happy that Im not drinking a litre of vodka or whisky every weekend.
Reply 2657
lol. defo.... I dont miss the hangovers thats for sure.
Reply 2658
Original post by warp2125
This will sound abit stupid.. but we cling to our distorted thoughts for a form of protection.. least thats what I have found out with myself... because I cant trust people around me my thoughts were that everyone was out to get me.... so I kept people at a distance.

prolly sounds stupid.. sorry shouldnt have bought it up.


Yeah I guess. And I sort of answered my own question when I said that I deserve it.
Meh yesterday was just so awful for a number of reasons, then the study aboard placements came out and I got placed at ****ING SWEDEN when I applied for 3 in the US. I know Sweden will be amazing but I just really want to go back to America, where im happiest, where ive been looking forward to going since last year. Then we got our results emailed to us ;(
Im just fed up of feeling so fatigued and lethargic ;(

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