Dear You,
I don't think I've ever been this close to anyone before, and I've never felt like this about anyone before either. It's like having a best friend and boyfriend all rolled into one. I feel more comfortable around you than I do around anyone else, and ever have done around anyone else, and I feel like I've revealed aspects of my personality to you that I didn't even know I had. We've only known each other for 4 and a bit months but it feels like so much longer because of all the time we've been able to spend together.
I don't know if you're the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with but I know that right now, I love you, and I know that if this ended in the near future, it could destroy me. I love you and I love how close we are, but it also makes me feel a bit vulnerable. I often don't open up to people because when I was younger people often would abuse my trust in them (and I would only confide in them about little things but when you've told someone not to tell anyone something and they do, it's betrayal, right?). There's also the whole "first relationship" thing - your first relationship often doesn't last, does it? I really want things to work in the long term. I'd like to think though that if for whatever reason they didn't, we could still remain friends seeing as we get along so well if you take the romantic and sexual attraction out of the equation.
I wish that I could see myself the way that you see me. I hate how you're always telling me that I'm beautiful and that I'm an amazing person yet I still sometimes can't stand the sight of myself in the mirror and feel like an awful person. I'm so worried that I'll end up revealing a side of myself that you don't like and this'll be over because I have put people off me by doing that in the past - I've got too comfortable around them and they've seen me for what I really am and left. I'm worried that I'm too dependent upon you for my happiness; in the past I've put all of my eggs in one basket so to speak in friendships and just ended up getting hurt and being left without close friends because I concentrated so much on that one friendship.
I'm sorry we haven't had sex yet. I want to; I think about it and we've come so close, yet something always stops me. I think it's just me not being comfortable with myself as a sexual being. Before I met you I rarely thought about sex and had never been sexually attracted to someone and it's still taking some getting used to. I know deep down that you're not going to leave me because of that but it's still a fear that I have for some reason.
Once again, I love you.