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Depression Society MKVI
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Just what is the ****ing point? I'm insignificant and invisible and nothing I say or do makes any impact whatsoever. People have always ignored me and never took me seriously, why did I think it would all change once I'm in uni? I must be even more of a terrible, worthless person than I already know I am.
Sorry, I just needed to blow off somewhere. I hate people sometimes.
Spoiler
Sorry, I just needed to blow off somewhere. I hate people sometimes.
Original post by McNuggetsAhoy
So I've just written a document with all my feelings in because I can never tell my psychiatrist or my psychologist how I really feel. So i thought I'd write them all down and just give them the document.
Has anyone else done something similar? I always end up saying I am fine when ever anyone asks me how I am doing even if I am not.
Has anyone else done something similar? I always end up saying I am fine when ever anyone asks me how I am doing even if I am not.
Yea... I have started doing that.... tried it a sort of poem looky:
Im too far gone, to far to help.
No matter how hard I scream and yell
I have trapped myself in my own hell
Theres no one around me, no that dares
My harts so dark it hurts to feel
Nothing around me seems to be real
I try to escape, theres no way out
I hear voices outside, echos from another world
I can not reach them, they are just too far
I fall back down, the echos remain
Adding to my raging pain
The echos taught me, goading me on
They know full well im not that strong
They watch me try, they laugh at my pain
Knowing they will never feel the same
Im stuck in this nightmare
Theres no chance of release
Now all I seek is eternal peace
Original post by Sabertooth
Yeah, talking to your mum probably isn't the best indicator.
You know, I think the sensible thing would be to take the quetiapine. At least give it a shot. Take it and have an easy night, maybe do some work if you're up to it.
Going out...probably not the best idea.
You know, I think the sensible thing would be to take the quetiapine. At least give it a shot. Take it and have an easy night, maybe do some work if you're up to it.
Going out...probably not the best idea.
I was curious, do you live in America? Or did you move here?
Anyway the yuckiness is decreasing and I haven't got a splitting headache any more. Still a bit dizzy when I look around but not as bad as monday (walking through town in the rain with very heavy bags weaving around and had to stop in a pub for some water which made me shiver like a junkie. Gay) I think the vitamins and food do you good. I think the emotional stage is setting in but I'd rather have that to be honest.
Original post by Botticello
I was curious, do you live in America? Or did you move here?
Anyway the yuckiness is decreasing and I haven't got a splitting headache any more. Still a bit dizzy when I look around but not as bad as monday (walking through town in the rain with very heavy bags weaving around and had to stop in a pub for some water which made me shiver like a junkie. Gay) I think the vitamins and food do you good. I think the emotional stage is setting in but I'd rather have that to be honest.
Anyway the yuckiness is decreasing and I haven't got a splitting headache any more. Still a bit dizzy when I look around but not as bad as monday (walking through town in the rain with very heavy bags weaving around and had to stop in a pub for some water which made me shiver like a junkie. Gay) I think the vitamins and food do you good. I think the emotional stage is setting in but I'd rather have that to be honest.
I live in Britain. For now.
Feel slightly better now. Must do my homework 
Does anybody know what a child protection officer does?
The one we have at school knows about my SH and I was just wondering what she does with that information? If anything? Will she have to let anyone else within school know?
Thanks.
The one we have at school knows about my SH and I was just wondering what she does with that information? If anything? Will she have to let anyone else within school know?
Thanks.
Original post by Sabertooth
I live in Britain. For now.
What state were you from? Get out of Britain while you can, its a poo hole
Original post by superwolf
I see it (think the problem was probably that you can't add images in H&R any more)! It's a fluffy one.
In Depression Society mansion we're going to have a rodent room, mostly filled with earth and plastic tubes, for the creatures to burrow and scuttle in.
I see it (think the problem was probably that you can't add images in H&R any more)! It's a fluffy one.
In Depression Society mansion we're going to have a rodent room, mostly filled with earth and plastic tubes, for the creatures to burrow and scuttle in.
I tried to take a better one, but can't find my camera so was using the webcam. They all came out blurry (and made it look like I have a giant mutant hand
).Awesome! There will will also be a snooker room, yes?
Original post by Anonymous
I did a homework sheet but no coursework.
I wrote something in a spoiler box but a mod deleted it, I think anything to do with SH is deleted now. I basically lost it last night, definitely not a fun time. Not feeling good today either.
I overheard people talking about me today. I wasn't even being paranoid, they were actually talking about me. They were talking about people listening into their conversation and one of them said who and the other said my name. I wasn't intentionally listening in, I don't even know how they knew I was. We were sat on the same table and they weren't exactly talking quietly so I didn't think it was anything private. One of them said even if I was listening in, I wouldn't have anybody to talk about their conversation to anyway so it didn't matter. Then the other one asked if I had friends and a girl who I used to be quite close with said I followed a group around and the other girl asked if they actually liked me.
That was probably impossible to follow, sorry. Just needed a bit of a rant
Reading it back, it seems stupid to be upset by it but it has made me more paranoid about my friends not liking me. Maybe everybody else sees it but me. Today at break I was sat with the usual people but didn't say anything, I couldn't think of anything to say. I need to try harder to join in because this is how I lost them. Although they don't seem particularly bothered about me drifting away.
Btw, I know I don't say it but I really appreciate you letting me talk to you, it helps me a lot.
The healthy meals balance out the watching TV, easily!
That sounds really, really good. Hope it works out
I wrote something in a spoiler box but a mod deleted it, I think anything to do with SH is deleted now. I basically lost it last night, definitely not a fun time. Not feeling good today either.
I overheard people talking about me today. I wasn't even being paranoid, they were actually talking about me. They were talking about people listening into their conversation and one of them said who and the other said my name. I wasn't intentionally listening in, I don't even know how they knew I was. We were sat on the same table and they weren't exactly talking quietly so I didn't think it was anything private. One of them said even if I was listening in, I wouldn't have anybody to talk about their conversation to anyway so it didn't matter. Then the other one asked if I had friends and a girl who I used to be quite close with said I followed a group around and the other girl asked if they actually liked me.
That was probably impossible to follow, sorry. Just needed a bit of a rant
Reading it back, it seems stupid to be upset by it but it has made me more paranoid about my friends not liking me. Maybe everybody else sees it but me. Today at break I was sat with the usual people but didn't say anything, I couldn't think of anything to say. I need to try harder to join in because this is how I lost them. Although they don't seem particularly bothered about me drifting away. Btw, I know I don't say it but I really appreciate you letting me talk to you, it helps me a lot.
The healthy meals balance out the watching TV, easily!
That sounds really, really good. Hope it works out
Well that's still good, better than me.
Sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you seen the nuture lady at all?Nah I think I followed it alright.
I would be upset too. They're just jerks though, that's their problem not yours, try not to let them get to you.
Aww you help me a lot too!
If you say so.
Thanks! Hopefully, he's so supportive. He even gave me a wink at the end of todays session (which for some reason I found hilarious, I'm so immature)
GP said the letter should be sent within a few days, was awkward but he was nice about it.
Have a meeting with mental health man (whose official title is mental health and disability advisor
) tomorrow. Have to be in uni an hour earlier than usual for it. 
i took it and now i feel sad SAD. sad!!!
oh well tomorrow i won't feel ****ing anything so there you go
SAD. sad!!!oh well tomorrow i won't feel ****ing anything so there you go
Original post by littleshambles
i took it and now i feel sad SAD. sad!!!
oh well tomorrow i won't feel ****ing anything so there you go
SAD. sad!!!oh well tomorrow i won't feel ****ing anything so there you go
I'm glad you took it. Give it a shot and see what comes of it. You can always stop later.
Original post by Anonymous
Well that's still good, better than me.
Sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you seen the nuture lady at all?
Nah I think I followed it alright.
I would be upset too. They're just jerks though, that's their problem not yours, try not to let them get to you.
Aww you help me a lot too!
If you say so.
Thanks! Hopefully, he's so supportive. He even gave me a wink at the end of todays session (which for some reason I found hilarious, I'm so immature)
GP said the letter should be sent within a few days, was awkward but he was nice about it.
Have a meeting with mental health man (whose official title is mental health and disability advisor) tomorrow. Have to be in uni an hour earlier than usual for it.
Well that's still good, better than me.
Sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you seen the nuture lady at all?Nah I think I followed it alright.
I would be upset too. They're just jerks though, that's their problem not yours, try not to let them get to you.
Aww you help me a lot too!
If you say so.
Thanks! Hopefully, he's so supportive. He even gave me a wink at the end of todays session (which for some reason I found hilarious, I'm so immature)
GP said the letter should be sent within a few days, was awkward but he was nice about it.
Have a meeting with mental health man (whose official title is mental health and disability advisor
) tomorrow. Have to be in uni an hour earlier than usual for it. I haven't, no. I haven't seen her around school and I don't like going into her room because she's usually with somebody and I'd feel as though I'm intruding.
Thanks
Need a shower but so much effort
Haha! I'd probably laugh too
Good stuff!
Hopefully it'll be worth it though, good luck
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't, no. I haven't seen her around school and I don't like going into her room because she's usually with somebody and I'd feel as though I'm intruding.
Thanks
Need a shower but so much effort
Haha! I'd probably laugh too
Good stuff!
Hopefully it'll be worth it though, good luck
Thanks
Need a shower but so much effort
Haha! I'd probably laugh too
Good stuff!
Hopefully it'll be worth it though, good luck
Well hope you see her soon.
Know the feeling, need to change my bed but......THE EFFORT!
It did rather catch me by surprise.
Hopefully I won't be feeling as ridiculously anxious as I did last time I saw him.
Really fancy a cup of tea, but really shouldn't have one at this time, had trouble getting to sleep last night. Oh but it would taste sooo good......must resist!
Original post by Anonymous
Well hope you see her soon.
Know the feeling, need to change my bed but......THE EFFORT!
It did rather catch me by surprise.
Hopefully I won't be feeling as ridiculously anxious as I did last time I saw him.
Really fancy a cup of tea, but really shouldn't have one at this time, had trouble getting to sleep last night. Oh but it would taste sooo good......must resist!
Know the feeling, need to change my bed but......THE EFFORT!
It did rather catch me by surprise.
Hopefully I won't be feeling as ridiculously anxious as I did last time I saw him.
Really fancy a cup of tea, but really shouldn't have one at this time, had trouble getting to sleep last night. Oh but it would taste sooo good......must resist!
I will
I had a shower. Although I am sat here with a towel on my head from 40 minutes ago.
I hope you won't either
RESIST THE TEA FLAVOURED GOODNESS!
Original post by Honeyx
Maybe visit drs again and tell them the couselling didn't help, it didn't for me either. Don't feel ashamed we are all in the same boat. Your not alone in the way you are feeling.Ok well goodnight and good luck with revision and I hope tomorrow proves to be a happier/productive day for you
Tell them what? I can't do drs again and I know you are right. I feel so exhausted, so lonely, so helpless and a partof me feels satisfied about that cos I know I am ****/ I sound so strange...
I not been revising, I turned up to the exam and answered half the questions cos I couldn't face it.Original post by Honeyx
Maybe visit drs again and tell them the couselling didn't help, it didn't for me either. Don't feel ashamed we are all in the same boat. Your not alone in the way you are feeling.Ok well goodnight and good luck with revision and I hope tomorrow proves to be a happier/productive day for you
Tell them what? I can't do drs again and I know you are right. I feel so exhausted, so lonely, so helpless and a partof me feels satisfied about that cos I know I am ****/ I sound so strange...
I not been revising, I turned up to the exam and answered half the questions cos I couldn't face it.
Original post by McNuggetsAhoy
So I've just written a document with all my feelings in because I can never tell my psychiatrist or my psychologist how I really feel. So i thought I'd write them all down and just give them the document.
Has anyone else done something similar? I always end up saying I am fine when ever anyone asks me how I am doing even if I am not.
Has anyone else done something similar? I always end up saying I am fine when ever anyone asks me how I am doing even if I am not.
Writing things down is a really good idea - I've done something similar in the past, but mostly I write for my own catharsis.
I'm pretty much doing the "I'm fine" thing too
Part of me wants to scream "I'm really not fine!!" but it wouldn't do any good and people would just avoid me more.[rant] Was sat in the lounge earlier and was trying to explain Bi-polar disorder to my housemate as it came up on telly that someone's wife had it. He just said "I don't understand, why would he want to be married to someone who's nuts?" FFS. Apart from this statement he's a perfectly 'nice' guy - just shows how little many people with no mental health issues know. Meh. Left me feeling pretty rubbish. Grrr Arrrg. etc. [/rant]
Original post by SeaJay
Writing things down is a really good idea - I've done something similar in the past, but mostly I write for my own catharsis.
I'm pretty much doing the "I'm fine" thing too Part of me wants to scream "I'm really not fine!!" but it wouldn't do any good and people would just avoid me more.
[rant] Was sat in the lounge earlier and was trying to explain Bi-polar disorder to my housemate as it came up on telly that someone's wife had it. He just said "I don't understand, why would he want to be married to someone who's nuts?" FFS. Apart from this statement he's a perfectly 'nice' guy - just shows how little many people with no mental health issues know. Meh. Left me feeling pretty rubbish. Grrr Arrrg. etc. [/rant]
I'm pretty much doing the "I'm fine" thing too
Part of me wants to scream "I'm really not fine!!" but it wouldn't do any good and people would just avoid me more.[rant] Was sat in the lounge earlier and was trying to explain Bi-polar disorder to my housemate as it came up on telly that someone's wife had it. He just said "I don't understand, why would he want to be married to someone who's nuts?" FFS. Apart from this statement he's a perfectly 'nice' guy - just shows how little many people with no mental health issues know. Meh. Left me feeling pretty rubbish. Grrr Arrrg. etc. [/rant]
Was defending OCD with a view of defending all mental illnesses to a group of friends last Saturday, it can be very draining trying to get them to understand.
Original post by rmhumphries
Was defending OCD with a view of defending all mental illnesses to a group of friends last Saturday, it can be very draining trying to get them to understand.
Yup. I also did the "I'm fine, just tired as I'm not really sleeping" thing on the phone to a friend the other day. She said "My mum doesn't really sleep, but she just gets on with it and gets by on 5 hours a night" (Try 2 hours, friend's mum)
Actually, to be fair, if I had said that my arm had just fallen of I'm pretty certain she would have said "Yeah well, my uncle's arm fell off, but he just gets on with it."
I don't think I'll talk to her until I'm feeling less fragile....
Sorry to intrude but I was wondering if someone here might be able to offer a little advice...
It's been going on for a while but I've only noticed it enough to be worried in the last two weeks or so. I keep crying for no real reason - tonight and last night I broke down on the phone to my boyfriend over the most insignificant things. I'm absolutely inconsolable when this happens, I just cry until my body can't keep it up really. I used to go out with my friends twice a week. Now I go out half that amount and if I really had my way it'd be once a fortnight or less I imagine - I go because I don't want to let people down or drift away from people. I just say I'm short of money, tired, ill, arguing with my boyfriend... I rarely fall asleep before 3am, but sleep very late if my lectures allow, and nap a lot. I'm not sure if that's a symptom or just my weird sleep pattern though.
I've been like this (often much worse) in the past, although I've never told a doctor or my family. That lasted years, and I was suicidal and occasionally self harming at its worst. I kicked the self harming before it got serious and eventually the feelings cleared up... and that spontaneous remission is what makes me think it wasn't a clinical problem. I spilled this to 'friends' while drunk last year and one of them later assured me that I was making it up for attention. I'm an anxious person, and have also experienced heart palpitations that my doctor put down to stress after not finding anything else abnormal.
The problem I'm having is not knowing whether this is real or not. I don't really remember how it felt when it was starting last time. I don't want to waste a doctors time, and I wonder what they could really do anyway. I'm in my first year, but it isn't homesickness and I don't want to be told that. My relationship is long distance and I originally attributed things to just missing him, but I'm not sure it can be solely that. He is incredibly supportive and the only one I've told about this so far.
Sorry for the essay... I guess I'm just wondering if you have any experiences that could help me. Thanks.
It's been going on for a while but I've only noticed it enough to be worried in the last two weeks or so. I keep crying for no real reason - tonight and last night I broke down on the phone to my boyfriend over the most insignificant things. I'm absolutely inconsolable when this happens, I just cry until my body can't keep it up really. I used to go out with my friends twice a week. Now I go out half that amount and if I really had my way it'd be once a fortnight or less I imagine - I go because I don't want to let people down or drift away from people. I just say I'm short of money, tired, ill, arguing with my boyfriend... I rarely fall asleep before 3am, but sleep very late if my lectures allow, and nap a lot. I'm not sure if that's a symptom or just my weird sleep pattern though.
I've been like this (often much worse) in the past, although I've never told a doctor or my family. That lasted years, and I was suicidal and occasionally self harming at its worst. I kicked the self harming before it got serious and eventually the feelings cleared up... and that spontaneous remission is what makes me think it wasn't a clinical problem. I spilled this to 'friends' while drunk last year and one of them later assured me that I was making it up for attention. I'm an anxious person, and have also experienced heart palpitations that my doctor put down to stress after not finding anything else abnormal.
The problem I'm having is not knowing whether this is real or not. I don't really remember how it felt when it was starting last time. I don't want to waste a doctors time, and I wonder what they could really do anyway. I'm in my first year, but it isn't homesickness and I don't want to be told that. My relationship is long distance and I originally attributed things to just missing him, but I'm not sure it can be solely that. He is incredibly supportive and the only one I've told about this so far.
Sorry for the essay... I guess I'm just wondering if you have any experiences that could help me. Thanks.
Original post by alexmagpie
Sorry to intrude but I was wondering if someone here might be able to offer a little advice...
It's been going on for a while but I've only noticed it enough to be worried in the last two weeks or so. I keep crying for no real reason - tonight and last night I broke down on the phone to my boyfriend over the most insignificant things. I'm absolutely inconsolable when this happens, I just cry until my body can't keep it up really. I used to go out with my friends twice a week. Now I go out half that amount and if I really had my way it'd be once a fortnight or less I imagine - I go because I don't want to let people down or drift away from people. I just say I'm short of money, tired, ill, arguing with my boyfriend... I rarely fall asleep before 3am, but sleep very late if my lectures allow, and nap a lot. I'm not sure if that's a symptom or just my weird sleep pattern though.
I've been like this (often much worse) in the past, although I've never told a doctor or my family. That lasted years, and I was suicidal and occasionally self harming at its worst. I kicked the self harming before it got serious and eventually the feelings cleared up... and that spontaneous remission is what makes me think it wasn't a clinical problem. I spilled this to 'friends' while drunk last year and one of them later assured me that I was making it up for attention. I'm an anxious person, and have also experienced heart palpitations that my doctor put down to stress after not finding anything else abnormal.
The problem I'm having is not knowing whether this is real or not. I don't really remember how it felt when it was starting last time. I don't want to waste a doctors time, and I wonder what they could really do anyway. I'm in my first year, but it isn't homesickness and I don't want to be told that. My relationship is long distance and I originally attributed things to just missing him, but I'm not sure it can be solely that. He is incredibly supportive and the only one I've told about this so far.
Sorry for the essay... I guess I'm just wondering if you have any experiences that could help me. Thanks.
It's been going on for a while but I've only noticed it enough to be worried in the last two weeks or so. I keep crying for no real reason - tonight and last night I broke down on the phone to my boyfriend over the most insignificant things. I'm absolutely inconsolable when this happens, I just cry until my body can't keep it up really. I used to go out with my friends twice a week. Now I go out half that amount and if I really had my way it'd be once a fortnight or less I imagine - I go because I don't want to let people down or drift away from people. I just say I'm short of money, tired, ill, arguing with my boyfriend... I rarely fall asleep before 3am, but sleep very late if my lectures allow, and nap a lot. I'm not sure if that's a symptom or just my weird sleep pattern though.
I've been like this (often much worse) in the past, although I've never told a doctor or my family. That lasted years, and I was suicidal and occasionally self harming at its worst. I kicked the self harming before it got serious and eventually the feelings cleared up... and that spontaneous remission is what makes me think it wasn't a clinical problem. I spilled this to 'friends' while drunk last year and one of them later assured me that I was making it up for attention. I'm an anxious person, and have also experienced heart palpitations that my doctor put down to stress after not finding anything else abnormal.
The problem I'm having is not knowing whether this is real or not. I don't really remember how it felt when it was starting last time. I don't want to waste a doctors time, and I wonder what they could really do anyway. I'm in my first year, but it isn't homesickness and I don't want to be told that. My relationship is long distance and I originally attributed things to just missing him, but I'm not sure it can be solely that. He is incredibly supportive and the only one I've told about this so far.
Sorry for the essay... I guess I'm just wondering if you have any experiences that could help me. Thanks.
Hi
You do point out a lot of symptoms and issues here that are quite worrying, so if your question is mostly if you could have depression then it's possible.It is possible for some people with depression to have symptoms clear up or just go away, but that doesn't mean it wasn't worrying, nor does it men it can be so easily dealt with the next time an episode occurs.
I personally would tell the GP what you just posted here, and see what they say. There are quite a few questionnaires you can fill out whilst there, that would clear things up a bit more.
I generally would try and get something done, or at least speak to someone professional, before things get worse like they did last time. You wouldn't wanna go down that path
Hope this helps in any way (I may have been useless as I'm quite sleepy) but take care of yourself.
