Why do guys sometimes act hot and cold?

No he can't be annoyed with you, and you're right that this is not a side to people that nice. It does seem like leading you on and fair enough to just friendzone them

I think exactly the same about girls too

Push/pull should only be gentle teasing, where it's obvious it's meant in a jokey way, not to mess someone around. I'd say if he's messing you around like this, then you deserve to find someone better who treats you with more respect and doesn't play these games

Well it did look to be leading somewhere then I realised I know nothing about him apart from what hes studying or has done that day and where he goes to college. One thing that did confuse me we were talking about music nsync and backstreet boys then he randomly sends me Tracey Chapman - Matters to the heart and says listen to the lyrics. (this was like 4 weeks ago). I don't know we seem quite different and with nothing in common , plus different personalities.

He seems too popular , in the club I wouldn't think that but then like on facebook and that you can tell hes a popular guy(even though it's usually only guys posting on his wall). I'm not really one for popular guy plus hes too charming , an obviously justs likes female attention. I don't know hes probably not looking for anything serious.

I'd much rather someone who is honest where you know where they stand. I've only had one guy who has been able to be like this even though we were friends. I don't know why people always say nice guys finish last and that I much prefer them.

You know what I actually deleted his number and fb messages , his number he never replied to my texts an fb I usually start it and he doesn't even say bye when he goes offline now he just goes offline mid conversation. I've completely friend-zoned him ,I just don't get why he always stares if other guys are around me. His friend is nicer to speak to than him , he always tells me whether the guy is there or not though without me asking.

(lol sorry for my long post)

Long post if you want to, go ahead

I think you've made a positive step forwards deleting his number and messages. It's rubbish if it's always you initiating the conversation, and he just seems to be rude and not really that interested to be honest. If you don't think you've got things in common and your personalities are different, that's not a good start.

I'm not sure why he stares at you if other guys are around you, maybe a little bit of possessiveness that he doesn't want other people talking to you, even though he's treating you badly? It's probably that he likes the female attention and gets jealous if you're giving it to other guys... well I think that's tough, why should you be messed around by him?

I think you're better off without him. Can I just say how refreshing it is to hear a girl say that she prefers nice guys and knowing where she stands with them Lots of people say this but you sound like you mean it, and that's actually quite rare, so good on you You'll find yourself someone one day who won't play games and will respect and look after you, as it should be

I know yeah, in person he can be more of the initiator just online he isn't. He seemed like a good guy at first, I guess it's true what they say about guys in clubs then.

He probably is a bit possessive , maybe even jealous. He seems sort of controlling in a way too.

I know hes way too annoying now and it's uni next year there will be plenty of other guys there. Nice guys really are the best and they know how to treat people they like. I'm sure I'll find someone , I kind of did before then certain circumstances ruined it , I know we'll speak again sometime as we really connected, it's just not to lose focus in the exams again. I'll see him again even as friends. It's better when your similar to a person then opposites I think, I've always thought that .

An it's weird how I would actually rather speak to the guys friend than him, the only reason I'm still going to talk to him as I'd feel bad not speaking to his friend hes always nice to me even when the guy acts cold .

Possessive, controlling and jealous never good... I know someone who had this with her bf and it was just an absolute nightmare, don't go there.

Yes there are plenty more fish in the sea, and nice guys out there who are actually worth your time I personally agree that whilst loads of people say oppposites attract, someone similar to you is good Although sometimes it's good to be slightly different and balance each other other out.

Yeah by all means speak to his friend, they're each their own guy and if you like chatting to his friend, nothing wrong with that: you can talk to who you want, as can his friend.

Possessive, controlling and jealous never good... I know someone who had this with her bf and it was just an absolute nightmare, don't go there.

Yes there are plenty more fish in the sea, and nice guys out there who are actually worth your time I personally agree that whilst loads of people say oppposites attract, someone similar to you is good Although sometimes it's good to be slightly different and balance each other other out.

Yeah by all means speak to his friend, they're each their own guy and if you like chatting to his friend, nothing wrong with that: you can talk to who you want, as can his friend.

Yeah don't let yourself be pulled in by his charm: when he acts nice, remember what he's done to make you post on here in the first place. I wouldn't treat a friend like this... I'm not sure that he even sees you as one, or whether he just wants your attention. Don't be giving him chances, you'll only get hurt later down the line. To put it mildly.... if he's trying to be all sweetness and light.... remember this...



That should keep you on the straight and narrow, don't be another girl giving him the attention he needs

If his friend starts saying where the guy is, tell him straight out "I don't care where he is, I'm talking to you"... that should give him a hint that you're interested in chatting to him, not the other guy.

I wouldn't give him a hug. Yeah, just don't really pay attention to him, I bet he'll get wound up but at the end of the day, he blew his chance and should've treated you better before. If this other girl is saying it too, it does sound like he uses women.

His friend seems nicer, maybe get to know him more

from my experiences the whole point of hot and cold is to keep the other person interested. If they played it normally I bet you wouldn't be thinking about it as much.

Girls I know use it all the time. Frustrating as hell but it keeps us guys interested, we like a challenge

So is he just doing this for a challenge? or my particular guy is just a user guy?

I never act hot and cold with guys , I prefer to show my interest.