The Student Room Group
University of Manchester
University of Manchester
Manchester

Girlfriend (non-student) coming to Uni with me?

Is this a really good or really bad idea?

I've firmed Manchester for 2012, and although I've applied for halls, my girlfriend (of 2 years) and I are considering getting private accommodation instead and living together. She won't be a student and will hopefully be able to get a job.

She has a place at the University of West of England for 2013 so would probably move to Bristol then unless she changed her mind.

Private accommodation cheaper than halls?
Easier to get a job in Manchester than Plymouth?
She would be moving 5 hours away from her family.
She would have to pay for accommodation and living out of her earnings.
Risk that she wouldn't get a job, but that may be so at home too.
If it didn't work out between us it would be a problem :P.

Anyone have experience of this? Of living with a non-student partner in the first year privately instead of halls.
Reply 1
I've known a couple of couples do it, they've stayed together but tended to have very few friends outside of each other. I've known couples come to Manchester both students as well which works out better as they tend to be in different halls and make new friends which makes the whole thing a little less intense.
University of Manchester
University of Manchester
Manchester
Reply 2
Hey, I've firmed Manchester for 2012 entry Medicine too! :-)

Are you a school leaver or a grad/mature applicant?

I see the attraction having been in a long-term relationship myself, but if you are a school leaver I would advise against it as you don't want to be out of the loop after one year when your girlfriend has moved to Bristol or, as you said, if it doesn't work out.

I don't mean to be negative but this is a new chapter in your life and I just don't feel you'd fully experience it living out of halls :-)
Reply 3
I'd honestly say go to halls without your girlfriend - if she's planning on leaving after a year then what do you do? It's a sad habit that not living in halls/spending a lot of time with one person means you don't make many 'other' friends.
Bear in mind you'd have to pay council tax as she's not a student - probably would make it more expensive than halls.
Reply 5
Original post by JimmyK
Is this a really good or really bad idea?

I've firmed Manchester for 2012, and although I've applied for halls, my girlfriend (of 2 years) and I are considering getting private accommodation instead and living together. She won't be a student and will hopefully be able to get a job.

She has a place at the University of West of England for 2013 so would probably move to Bristol then unless she changed her mind.

Private accommodation cheaper than halls?
Easier to get a job in Manchester than Plymouth?
She would be moving 5 hours away from her family.
She would have to pay for accommodation and living out of her earnings.
Risk that she wouldn't get a job, but that may be so at home too.
If it didn't work out between us it would be a problem :P.

Anyone have experience of this? Of living with a non-student partner in the first year privately instead of halls.


How far would you live from her if she didn't move to Manchester?
Does she have a car?

I've found that a lot of people (particularly a friend of mine) have said that not living in halls has limited those they have befriended, which is unfortunate. Maybe you should do the halls thing, and if it fails, that could be another option. But, as I see it, say you rent a 2-person place, and she leaves in 2013, and you have few friends whilst a lot of flatmates from halls are going to move in with each other, you may be stuck with a 2-person flat and nobody to share it with.
That's just my perspective though, maybe you both need to discuss it and weigh out the pros and cons. :smile:
Good luck! (And congrats on your place in Manchester!)
Reply 6
I'd say go to halls, the people who went to uni with their partners didn't tend to make as many friends outside of the relationships and i know their living situation caused a LOT of arguments due to conflicting timetables/interests.

Go and enjoy the full uni experience! You'll only get one chance to do it!
Reply 7
Would she be able to afford rent if she doesn't have a job up there in the first place?

If she's at home she'd presumably still be with her parents, so even without an income she'd still have food and a bed.

If she can't find a job in Manchester, she has a big problem.
Please go to Halls. I got into my uni as insurance and have ended up in a private rented house. The people I live with are dirty and we don't speak. I haven't made many friends at all, I got together with my current boyfriend in January and honestly if it wasn't for him I would've dropped out already because not having any friends at uni is awful. I'm not trying to get sympathy haha just saying if you can get halls please, please go for it. My boyfriend goes to another uni half an hour away and it works fine, but there are also lots of couples at uni who visit their boyfriends/girlfriends at the weekend and make it work. If it can't work a few hours away then it's not a particularly strong relationship, in my opinion. You won't regret it.
Original post by milienhaus
Bear in mind you'd have to pay council tax as she's not a student - probably would make it more expensive than halls.


Only she would have to pay council tax, and she'd only have to pay 75% because she's living with a student.

OP, I think you should live in halls because they're kind've an essential uni experience and you'll find yourself isolated in second year.
Reply 10
Sorry I haven't logged in in a while and didn't realise anyone had replied to my thread! Thanks for the messages :smile:.

Original post by Mero8
Hey, I've firmed Manchester for 2012 entry Medicine too! :-). Are you a school leaver or a grad/mature applicant?


Ah cool :smile:, I'm a school leaver. Accommodation choices?

Original post by Blazara
if she's planning on leaving after a year then what do you do?


Yeah there's the chance that she'll stay, or reapply go to Manchester Met but the chances are she won't so I agree with you.

Original post by milienhaus
Bear in mind you'd have to pay council tax as she's not a student - probably would make it more expensive than halls.


Interesting, I hadn't thought of that :P.

Original post by lizolove
How far would you live from her if she didn't move to Manchester? Does she have a car? [...] Good luck! (And congrats on your place in Manchester!)


About 5 hours away for 2012/2013, then 3 hours after that. Nope but she wants to learn to ride a motorbike. I drive my dads car at the moment for a week's insurance here and there but won't at uni :P. Thank you :smile:.

Original post by Soph.Jade
I'd say go to halls, the people who went to uni with their partners didn't tend to make as many friends outside of the relationships and i know their living situation caused a LOT of arguments due to conflicting timetables/interests.


Fair enough, thanks for the advice :smile:.

Original post by Nut.
Would she be able to afford rent if she doesn't have a job up there in the first place?


No she'd need a job to afford it, so would probably move home again if she didn't. That's the biggest issue with it really, getting a job.

Original post by infairverona
Please go to Halls. I got into my uni as insurance and have ended up in a private rented house. The people I live with are dirty and we don't speak. I haven't made many friends at all, I got together with my current boyfriend in January and honestly if it wasn't for him I would've dropped out already because not having any friends at uni is awful. I'm not trying to get sympathy haha just saying if you can get halls please, please go for it. My boyfriend goes to another uni half an hour away and it works fine, but there are also lots of couples at uni who visit their boyfriends/girlfriends at the weekend and make it work. If it can't work a few hours away then it's not a particularly strong relationship, in my opinion. You won't regret it.

Original post by IlliteratePedant


Ah yeah I would hate to not have friends at uni! What course are you doing? Thanks for the advice :smile:.

Original post by IlliteratePedant
OP, I think you should live in halls because they're kind've an essential uni experience and you'll find yourself isolated in second year.


Okay yeah that seems to be the case.


Thanks everyone, I've decided I'm definitely not going to live in private accommodation with my girlfriend - halls it is! It feels bad at the moment but I guess lots of people go through it and we will be fine afterwards. So will see what happens.

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