I'm evil and definitely not normal

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Reply 120

ROYP

You should start playing the POSTCODE LOTTERY!

Reply 121

Jimbo1234

Original post by IAmTheWumAndOnly

Just getting an opinion from someone does not inherently mean that I care for them. There you go again, a weak, spineless human who lets emotion overrule their intelligence.

No, but you care about their opinion, otherwise you would not ask.
And as I said before, you simply sound depressed.

Reply 122

Rob19

Original post by IAmTheWumAndOnly

Just getting an opinion from someone does not inherently mean that I care for them. There you go again, a weak, spineless human who lets emotion overrule their intelligence.

To be honest, it just sounds like you have severe trust issues.

You're also losing out on many of the best things in life by cutting yourself off (probably out of fear), because the joys (and losses, admittedly,) that come with social interaction are far greater than almost anything else that we can experience. Thus, the same insults you've directed towards others could easily be directed at you.

psychopathy yo

Original post by IAmTheWumAndOnly

I know for a fact that I'm an evil person. I don't deserve a place in society but the only thing keeping me as a normal functioning member of society is the fact I can control the urges. I'm 100% not normal.

Other people like to see other people happy. I like to see people sad. It makes me feel better about myself and makes me aware of the fact that I'm not the only one going through stuff in my life. Why wouldn't it lift my spirits?

Reasons I am not normal

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Death doesn't faze me. Nothing does.

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I have a strange view of people. I see them as objects who can be discarded easily rather than emotional beings

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I only care about myself and close people, everyone else doesn't matter

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I don't feel emotion at all

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When bad things happen in the news, I don't really care. Everyone pretends that they're sympathetic but I'm more interested in the event than the actual loss of life. Why should I care about some random folk?

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I don't care about sex any more because people use it as a scapegoat to show love when its all a farce. People do it for their own self gratification, nothing more, nothing less.

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I don't go out of my way to make others look bad but when they bring it upon themselves it makes me happy.

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I'm not aggressive, I just sit back and let it play out.

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I believe life is one big farce where people put on a show, rarely showing the real them. Nature intended for survival of the fittest but man has ruined nature and forced so called moral values upon others

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I do my best to blend into society to not cause a fuss

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I pity gullible good people who take me at face value. I see them as weak and easy to break down like puppets on a string

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I have evil thoughts all the time but never act on them. I'm not that stupid. Society doesn't take too kindly to those who act as nature intended but would rather people act by societies rules and be dictated to.

Anyone else feel like this? I try to be normal but its like acting and very stressful. Sometimes its so hard to keep going to blend in. Whenever I watch something on a TV show that involves blood or someone who is sick and twisted it gets me interested. I never like the good guys in TV shows, always the villains, because I feel I have a relation to them :smile:

You will go far my friend, you will go far. The world is full of people who like you have those exact traits. These people are skilled at hiding their true intent and feelings and many are top of the food chain. They are heads of major corporations, politicians, bankers etc. You are one of the elite.

Reply 125

Paperback_Writer

Original post by Joonie

I'm like this too.When I was a kid I became obsessed with trying to understand other people's pain. I also find it hard to read (fictional) sad stories without crying. Is there a word for this?

Hey Joonie. Aww! I'm not alone. :smile:

You could label it as being "empathic" or feeling deep empathy for others. In New Agey circles being empathic is seen as a gift. Being able to tune into the atmosphere of a room and others.

I think a psychologist wrote a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" about people who tend to react strongly or sensitively to these things. Been meaning to give it a read. Try googling it or take a look on Amazon. "Highly sensitive" also means having a strong reaction to physical stimuli like noise etc. Basically they get overwhelmed easily (not like a panic attack - more that they have a lower tolerance for intensity).

Whether you believe in the hypothesis or not, it's an interesting idea.

Reply 126

ColourOfMadness

tl;dr version:
You are further down the scale than I am (mainly due to the fact that I find morality important).
I have: no interest in social interaction (except when it is beneficial to me for another reason), lack of ability to attach to people, lack of emotion, lack of empathy
You say this is since you were much younger, but for me there were only hints at a young age, and it really has been developing along the past 2 years (I'm now 19).

_________________________________________________

Original post by IAmTheWumAndOnly

Anyone else feel like this?

Your post interested me. Going to do a point by point comparison. Then we can have a high five for weirdness or something. Woo.

Other people like to see other people happy. I like to see people sad. It makes me feel better about myself and makes me aware of the fact that I'm not the only one going through stuff in my life. Why wouldn't it lift my spirits?

It doesn't affect me either way. It makes for an interesting story when a big disaster has happened. But if I'm shown an individual happy and laughing and an individual sad and crying, my reaction is the same to them both. Slight awkwardness in working out what the proper response is, no actual emotional change. So I'm not the same as you, but also not normal.
In short, my emotions and empathy have all but disappeared, and I don't think they are coming back.

[*]I don't care about sex any more because people use it as a scapegoat to show love when its all a farce. People do it for their own self gratification, nothing more, nothing less.

I sometimes try to get it for my own self gratification, but it's not really that important to life in general. I certainly don't want a relationship. I am unable to attach to people now - people at uni who would call me their 'friend', I actually don't care about with their life situation. So what chance have I got of attaching properly to a partner? None at all. Not worth the effort trying, anyway. Strangely, I can attach to pets and care about them in the proper manner. But not people.

[*]I don't go out of my way to make others look bad but when they bring it upon themselves it makes me happy.

As I said above, makes no odds to me.

[*]I'm not aggressive, I just sit back and let it play out.

Same. I sometimes manipulate the situation to make it better for me, but not even in a way that would be too troublesome. I am very non-confrontational. Except for the rare occasion that I get angry :biggrin:

but that is very very rare.

[*]I believe life is one big farce where people put on a show, rarely showing the real them. Nature intended for survival of the fittest but man has ruined nature and forced so called moral values upon others

Here I become normal. I care about basic morality, because it's a kind of social contract. Everyone benefits, including me.

[*]I do my best to blend into society to not cause a fuss

Same. Learning how to smile and laugh and pretending empathy...

[*]I pity gullible good people who take me at face value. I see them as weak and easy to break down like puppets on a string

Nope, here I'm more normal than you. I don't think about them or care about them. They are either there, in which case I can pretend I care and get some help when I need a university question answering. Or they are not. I don't think I'd feel grief - death of someone would be the same as if they had moved to the outback without internet. Egocentric view of other people - are they useful or not. I don't break them down.

[*]I have evil thoughts all the time but never act on them. I'm not that stupid. Society doesn't take too kindly to those who act as nature intended but would rather people act by societies rules and be dictated to.

Once again, I'm more normal. I sometimes fantasise about things... but I've already said that I find morality important. So that really normalises me out. I've seen in the thread that you've said you've actually killed living things. I sometimes have a trawl around youtube, but I'm nowhere near the scale that you are, then.
If I was given the excuse - for example, self-defence, I would find it very enjoyable.

My blending in is because I have to pretend to care and put on some fake facial expressions. That's tiring.

I would be interested in anyone's opinions as to where my emotions (etc.) are going. It doesn't worry me as such - it's just that I'm interested and want to understand
I'm moral and I'm not impulsive. But wtf are these changes for? I'm just getting emptier. It's not a problem, I'm content with life, I just want to understand what is happening to me and whether there's going to be continued development.

Reply 127

lightburns

Original post by jadomcp

To be honest, I know that I earlier posted that this looks like a classic case of psychopathy - which it does (not sociopathy, btw, they're slightly different) - but it's starting to look a bit more like narcissism, the way that you are replying to everyone's posts who says something against you. Also, they make good points about you're contradictions. If you honestly feel the way you described, then go and get help because to not be able to feel any emotional attachment to anyone is an horrific affliction. However, if you don't then you seriously need to get over yourself, because it seems like you're kind of getting off on all this attention at the moment.

Sorry if I'm dumb here, but what's the main points of difference between narcissism and and psychopathy? Is it the need for others to see you in a certain way? Whereas a psychopath wouldn't care how they were seen by others?

Reply 128

NeuralGroove

Original post by IAmTheWumAndOnly

Same. I'm really evil, a really bad egg.

Sometimes, I stick my chewing gum under the desk at school.

Other times, I waste everyone's time with long-winded, attention-seeking posts.

Reply 129

tsrstar

You seem pretty normal. :dontknow:

Reply 130

IAmTheWumAndOnly

Original post by Rob19

I have no trust issues. Why would I have trust issues? I look after myself and that's it really. I only care for others if there is something to gain from it. Selfish, yes, but I don't care because that's me being myself instead of a falsely manipulated person society wants me to be.

I don't fear anything. I could easily speak to other people and have fun but what is the point? I don't care for them and they're objects to me. Just like I could sit down and play with a little puppy, I could sit down and talk to a human. That puppy is very much like a human if you make the right moves. You can get it to like you then manipulate it to your gain.

I've gone looking for near death experiences. Not suicide but it doesn't faze me one bit. I could easily take death as making the choice to survive. Near death experiences are a thrill.

Original post by oonajp

are those two points not contradictory of each other? or am i missing something

Sorry, let me elaborate. I care about them but only if it suits me and I can gain from it or the situation. If I cannot gain from the situation then I don't care for them. Its sort of a false emotional attachment that I've learnt to use to manipulate other people. Im not afraid to admit that. The only person I care about in this world is me.

I know I am not right. I can easily kill an animal with my bare hands and skin it alive. Just to be able to take its life like that is well, bewildering. Its such a buzz. People do all things in life that make them tick, for me, its nothing less than seeing something so weak and fighting for its life at your mercy.

Sometimes, because I live on the move I need to hunt animals for food. I have no qualms about killing it for my gain to keep me alive. Its no different to what a slaughterhouse would do anyway. I just get the added bonus of killing it myself :smile:

I would never kill people. I have learnt how to cope with my problem so society accepts me.

Reply 131

American Vampire

Original post by Joonie

You're basically calling me a coward. How does what I just described make me one? I cry when I understand/can relate to what a person is going through, not because I'm scared of anything in particular.

I'm sorry, I didn't realise you'd react like that. I should have guessed from the post actually. I genuinely only meant it as a joke, because I thought it was fairly obvious that your "problem" is just that you're a little sensitive, is all. Cool?

Reply 132

jadomcp

Original post by lightburns

Well narcissism comes from the ancient Greek story of Narcissus, if you're familiar with it, where Narcissus sees his own reflection in the water and falls in love with it. So narcissism is self-absorption or self-love. Psychopathy however is significantly different, it is the lack of any emotion or feeling and the inability to form intimate bonds with other humans. It is essentially the lack of any form of empathy due to the fact that they cannot feel the emotions with which they need to empathise. My point was that he was starting to look less like he actually had those symptoms and more like he was just a bit self-absorbed...

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 133

lightburns

Original post by jadomcp

Thanks for the clarification - I just needed to be sure I was separating them correctly.

Reply 134

TurboCretin

Original post by RobertWhite

"I do my best to blend into society to not cause a fuss", "I don't feel emotion at all".

It seems you're not doing your best to blend into society at the moment and it seems you feel emotion... if you felt no emotion why would feel compelled to post this message or go through the pain of having to interact with anyone?

This isn't the Aspurges syndrome I'm familiar with. If this isn't a troll message I'm not sure what you want by asking this anyway? Is this even a question or just an attention-seeking thread on how evil and 'different' you are?