I feel exactly the same as you, except from I'm not at cambridge, i'm at bristol, and i feel so thick all the time. I havent been assed to do any work, deliberately dont turn up to things and generally **** up my education just because I believe I can't do it. This has genuinely been one of the ****tiest years of my life and I know I am going to fail my exams. I really don't see a future for me in anything and I don't even know why they accepted me onto the programme. I'm just a waste of space and even tried to kill myself just before starting uni. Didn't work what a shame. Now I have upcoming exams and I don't know how the hell I'm going to pass. I wish they would just hurry up and kick my lazy ass off the course. I've literally spent half the year crying and it's generally been ****.
Sorry that wasn't really advice just burdening you with my problems.
Oh and I know it looks like I'm being a total dick not even putting myself in your shoes, and that's not what I'm trying to do, just believe me, I have spent so many long hours emotionally draining myself trying to help my best friends and my family member, even right through the night, that I'm not even sure if I know how to help another person anymore. If I had the right words to tell you then I would. All the words you think are the right words to change someone never really are - you can empower them, but at the end of the day the power to change lies in that person, and in no one else's words. All I can say to you is stick with it, for now - and if you will, then I will. It may sound wrong but reading your experience has sort of empowered me in away because your words resonate so much with my own self-negative thoughts. Give the exams your best shot, from now on. Because later on down the line, you can never reproach yourself for giving it your best shot. You did what you can with the resources and 'raw material' available to you at the time. Just be your ****ing strongest and give it your best shot.
I always listen to this, it sort of empowers me somehow... just go with all his lyrics about moving on, becoming a bigger person, and I hope it makes you change. Promise to give it your best shot, and I will?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s&ob=av3eP.s. I just think in life you sometimes have to go with the fact that there may well be negative consequences to your actions, and that everything may fall apart somewhere down the line, but you have to have the strength to overcome that. I mean, I know that I could well fail this year, even after re-takes and find myself in 'limbo' but that doesn't change the fact that I am trying, you know... you just have to be strong enough to say what the hell and give it your best shot. I hope this helps, I hope you find it within yourself to over-ride all the setbacks
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