What does it take to get a nice girlfriend?

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Reply 20

MancBoy

Original post by indianaussie

That's so not true. :/ Plus you don't need to be a jerk if you've got a british accent. :smile:

I dare say you can be sensitive and be yourself completely.

What the hell has a British accent got to do with it? :confused:

Reply 21

indianaussie

Original post by MancBoy

What the hell has a British accent got to do with it? :confused:

He said a guy would need to behave like a jerk to get a girl. I disagreed with that and was meant to say if you've got positive qualities you don't need to rely on being a jerk to get a girl. The British accents were an example of a positive quality. I assumed everyone here would have a British accent of some type.
:smile:

Or maybe i just have an accent fetish lol.

Reply 22

username930845

Original post by indianaussie

I agree with that. It's hard to find a couple who are equally passionate about each other. One of the couple loves the other more. It's sad that nice people feel they have to stay with jerks when there are other more deserving guys/girls. I don't understand that. I hope you mean most not all. That would be really unfortunate.

Here where i live out of the couples i know they both seem equally nice to each other and respectful.

It would be lovely to live in your fairytale world where everyone is nice to each other and everyone finds their 'true love'. It's nice that you see things like that.

Unfortunately life is not like that, especially when it comes to relationships. Granted, the British have a reputation for cynicism, and it functions as an excellent defence mechanism against failures in relationships (that is, taking a negative/cynical view of others instead of blaming oneself), but some realism is required. This is also a board dedicated to problems - it can offer a disarmingly negative view of relationships in general that, in turn, promotes cynicism.

In my opinion, the world of relationships is the morass that it is because, in order not to get hurt, many treat the whole relationship business as a game. Many choose to play carefully, making sure to protect themselves. Hardly any people you meet can be truly said to be being themselves when playing it, mostly because changing oneself is seen as necessary. It's this warped reality that has escalated into this tragedy of the commons (everyone is seeking to accrue further power, status and traits that are considered most attractive and therefore moving further from the person that they are).

For some couples it works; for many it does not. No one said that it was going to be easy. After all, gambling that you'll want to spend the rest of your life with a person is a crazy thing.

As someone said, you're stuck with whatever you can get, not what you deserve. The sooner one makes peace with that, the sooner one is freed from disappointment and the inherent weltschmerz of the human mind.

On topic: You need a fair amount of 'luck' in that you simply run into the right girl at the right time. You can improve your odds by looking for girls outside of clubs and bars, in places where you feel a 'nice' girl might hang out. Also, you may find that girls because less superficial as they get older and thus realise that 'personality' is important too (or lower their standards).

Therefore ... hit on girls in museums?!

Reply 23

pixelfrag

Original post by indianaussie

why are a lot of people on tsr so cynical and full of stereotypes.

a nice boyfriend gets a nice girlfriend. If you are a good listener, understanding and supportive of her dreams and goals..you will get a girlfriend who is similar.

Finally someone who understands. Everyone always takes the "nice guys finish last" concept and think you need to be an ass hole to get a nice girlfriend. Totally not true, as long as you're not acting desperate or clingy whilst being friends and at the same time being considerate, enjoyable, interesting and supportive then on the whole that's a good start.

Reply 24

Laurazz

what a load of bull****...

Reply 25

elia

Nice girls go for bad boys.

That's your best bet.

Reply 26

WizzleKidd

Just be a dick and you will get one. Girls love that.

Reply 27

indianaussie

Original post by pixelfrag

Exactly. The guys who think that probably attract the shallow, but hot, vapid girls. They don't want to lower their standards and want to have someone with conventional beauty they can show off to their mates, then why complain when the girl you attract by being an ******* is not a "nice" girlfriend or one who sticks around. People attract the person they deserve. And i don't have sympathy for people who become bitter with past experience and act like jerks as a result. Why would you treat a girl who is interested in you badly due to bad past experiences.

There is obviously not something wrong with British girls but obviously something wrong with british guys in that case.

It is so not hard to get a nice girlfriend. Why don't guys understand? I have a bisexual female friend and she has no trouble having finding and having a relationship with a girl. Obviously it's different for guys but i don't think it's that different. Sure if you just want a quick lay then you're not going to get many girls. But if you are understanding, supportive, love that someone and only her unconditionally most decent girls will find that attractive.

Reply 28

indianaussie

Original post by WizzleKidd

Just be a dick and you will get one. Girls love that.

Or just get a prostityte if you're into just sex with a girl. Or maybe target a vulnerable drunk girl who you can shag. If you have to be a dick to get a girl then don't complain when girls are the same back.

I hope not all British guys are like that. I had a better image of British guys before i came on tsr. It's still not bad but i guess it's more realistic now.

Reply 29

Soph(:

I think that whole nice girl's go for bad guys isn't necessarily true most people go for people they have quite similar interests or personalites as

Reply 30

pixelfrag

Original post by indianaussie

It seems you're from another country. You see girls here in Britain are very much different than the ones I've experience when going abroad for holiday and etc. A lot are influenced by the culture here and they're simply not the girls you can sit down and have an intellectual conversation with, spend a good time alone together somewhere or whatnot. The ones who are like that are rare to find these days.

Reply 31

sr90

Volunteer Team

Be confident and good looking.

If you are not either of these two, you're not going to get anywhere.

Reply 32

indianaussie

Original post by pixelfrag

Really? You mean to say a vast majority of non-chav like British women don't have these qualities. I've met lots of nice ones on tsr, so maybe you are looking in the wrong places i.e. bars and clubs? Well, im from Australia but am going to the UK for work. Does that mean if I have the above qualities, I would have a chance with British guys? Just asking.
:smile:

Reply 33

Egarside

Be nice, be yourself.

Reply 34

BeachBum8

Original post by Lyrically

money, confidence & lies

oh please.

Reply 35

QTpie118

Original post by jharrington93

Someone asked a pretty similar question before, thought I'd ask.

Taking care of your appearance, being empathetic and having an adaptive personality with an open mind. You can have me if you like-I'm nice :smile:

(the last bit was a joke by the way)

Reply 36

jharrington93

QTpie118, the joke was quite good. I'm suprised how many people are posting, this was originally a responce to What does it take to get a nice boyfriend. I was shocked hearing some women were annoyed because of the ar** hole men that are about. I already had my answer, I just wanted to see what the responces would be. It's I#ve got to keep looking and eventually I'll find someone super nice. There's 7bn people out there, there's bound to be nice people.

Reply 37

pixelfrag

Original post by indianaussie

I'm only 17 aha, I don't really hang round bars and clubs just yet since the u18 ones aren't THAT great and usually are just filled with idiots doing MDMA and being high all the time, people you'd rather not sorround yourself with.
Unforunately the non-chav british girls (I say girls because I don't really hang out with 'women' yet) are of a small cohort aha, up till the age of 16, I found that most of my female friends are slightly chav-like, if not fully chav. Though in my school (It's a boys grammar school, near the top of the country) we rarely see 'real chavs', the schools round us were basically chav central. The girls schools were full of slags who's skirts don't cover all of their bums (even from the age of 13 ish), the other mixed schools around us are just total idiots when it comes to academics. There is only one other school in my area of London which I'd consider as having girls I'd like to be around with (there are girls from other schools, but due to the nature of the school and the ethos of learning there, the amount of these girls in those schools are quite small so not that easy to find.) They're all still girls of course, I'm sure many will change as they grow up however I'm sure many others will get pregnant as soon as they leave school, end up with some guy who doesn't even care about her and then realise what they've done to themselves. But hey, anyways as I was saying, when I go abroad for holiday (often I go to croatia due to the beautiful climate), the girls are completely different! In general the girls tend to be of nicer personalities.

You've met a lot of nice ones on TSR because you see, only the nice ones go on TSR :smile:

The chav girls have 'better things to do', school isn't of importance to them, learning and university isn't a target. They'll opt for doing a beauty course and then end up doing make up at the local salon. Everytime I go to the salon to get a haircut, my hairdresser tells me not to go to university, tells me that she's doing just fine with a £25k salary from the salon. But she's a total skank, it's how they all turn out. The ones on TSR are the intelligent, generally well-developed girls (in terms of personality) and are articulate. You can see this from the quality of posts.

As for your point about looking in the wrong places, I don't really look for girls aha. I have a large number of friends who are girls and I get introduced to their friends and it grows like that. I've always found the idea of "looking for a friend" or "looking for a girlfriend" really weird. I'm sure if I saw a person I'd like to converse with, I'd go and talk to them. But I wouldn't go to a place just to look for a girl I can talk to or look for a girl who can be my girlfriend...it's just so wrong, I've always felt accidental love was the best way lool, it just forms on it's own with a friend you have and when it forms, you both know what you feel for each other and it kinda speaks for itself. That's how it's been for all my past girlfriends if I'm honest.

British guys...well it depends. In which sector are you looking to work in? Of course, looks play a large role in relationships, not saying it's easier to get a partner if you're good looking, but it does really influence your friendships and who'll consider you a girlfriend. If you find a guy who's like what you described, supportive, willing to listen, can hold an interesting conversation with you and would genuinely go out of his way to do something to help you, and you're willing to do the same then I'm sure you'll have no problem with meeting someone sweet and trustworthy :smile:

Good luck!

EDIT: **** wall of text, I still have so much to say...wooops. Btw I don't know you personally so I don't know how much this will be valid to you but don't wear a huge amount of make up, don't plaster yourself in foundation! The guys you want will prefer class over swag, simple eyeliner and thin layer of foundation to cover any blemishes on skin (if you really wish), mascara if you want and lipstick will do. I find long thick beautiful hair one of the biggest bonuses with a girl's appearance so you could pay attention to that too as many guys have agreed with me on this. IMO minimal make up is best, it shows confidence as well as the fact that the girl doesn't depend on make up to make her look good.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 38

WizzleKidd

Original post by indianaussie

Hey now, hey now. Don't attack me! :redface:

I never had a girlfriend in my life and I do not act in any of these ways, I was only making a joke which unfortunately is quite true. I see it a lot. And please do not classify all us british guys into one bunch, there are many decent ones (like me). :tongue: