Time is a great healer. I know that's a stock response but it is true
When I was in my third year of my undergrad degree, I had the most incredible relationship with someone. It really was as if we were soulmates or twin flames, or any of that kinda stuff. I'd never felt that comfortable or that loved by someone before
It really changed my whole life and worldview.
Since it was my third and final year of uni and this other person was a welfare tutor, we knew we had a very limited time together and that we wouldn't be able to keep in touch once I left. So we both just threw ourselves into it (a bit too much perhaps. Looking back, she shouldn't have done it
) and made the most of the time we had together.
It cut both of us up, having to say goodbye at the end of the academic year. She actually didn't say goodbye and wouldn't let me say goodbye properly, coz she couldn't bear it
That made the pain of parting even worse for me. Two years on, I still miss her so much and bemoan the fact that our time together was so short. I could have gone to her in first year and we could have had three years together but I was so stubborn and refused to accept any outside help
Not having this woman in my life anymore hurts like hell. Like you acknowledge, it's hard to find your soulmate and then have to part forever and know that you can never talk again. But would I rather I had never gone to her in the first place, or that she'd been a bit more professional? Not a chance. I'd rather go through all this pain and have had the pleasure of having spent a fraction of my life with her, than have gone through life never knowing that kind of love
Loving some one like that has really changed me profoundly for the better