If I'm being honest with you guys part of the reason why I was originally suicidal (I better be careful about this because I don't want my post blocked) was because I felt I had no purpose to live anymore.
I thought to myself even as young as 18 that I had no purpose to live as I will never get a girlfriend, and will never have friends, so keeping me alive in this unhappy state would be selfish. I planned initially to get a 1st class honours and go out with a bang (and then kill myself) and die with some sort of pride.
I'm 25 and done my degree, but I only got a 2.2 (well you would do if you're life prospects/outlook in life were as dim as mine, so my depression was the reason for my lack of motivation), I due to recieve a telecommunications masters (merit) however.
You see the thing is I've done my degree now so have nothing to live for. I've been considering putting myself out of my misery in say 6-12 months time if things do not improve. I will never have a girlfriend, as I am too old now, and will never have any friends so as I say have nothing to live for and have a no quality of life.
I'm not initially suicidal (so please do not take this a suicidal post) but have prospects of planning it at some point in my life, for well 5-6 years now as I have served my purpose.
Think about like a tennis player (watching wimbledon right now) I would have my tennis career, win as many majors as possible or whatever, and then kill myself afterwards at 33 something, as I have nothing to live for/served my purpose. I suck at socialising, and will never have a girlfriend and living becomes too painful. I'm just not very good at this side of life and have an obligation not to live it. But at least I would go out with a bang winning some majors or something say.
This has been the crux of my thinking for some years now, get the degree and then go. But now obviously I'm having councilling etc. Whether that will work is another thing. I have to be able to serve a purpose in order to want to live.