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Big guys - attractive or not?

I'm 17 years of age and to be honest, I'm not the skinniest person ever. I'm not fat in the original sense of the word, I'm overweight (but obviously in society if you're not skinny - you're fat). In school I generally block girls out (I'm not gay, to be honest I just don't want to be distracted and don't like 'flirting' with girls, I do speak to girls obviously haha but not on a minute-to-minute basis).

The real question is, is being overweight a deterrent to girls? or do some girls not mind a big person?
Reply 1
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Inverse
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17 years of age and to be honest, I'm not the skinniest person ever. I'm not fat in the original sense of the word, I'm overweight (but obviously in society if you're not skinny - you're fat). In school I generally block girls out (I'm not gay, to be honest I just don't want to be distracted and don't like 'flirting' with girls, I do speak to girls obviously haha but not on a minute-to-minute basis).

The real question is, is being overweight a deterrent to girls? or do some girls not mind a big person?


Big girls will have no reason to dislike your size.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my HTC One X
My husband was about 19 stone when I met him (I was just over 10 stone - normal BMI for my height).

Over the years we both put on weight, though him a lot more than me. At my biggest post-pregnancy weight, I was just over 14 stone. By contrast, my hubby at his biggest was just over 33 stone. At this point, obviously we were both overweight.

We're both losing weight together now. I'm a few pounds lower now than I was when we first met (so back to normal BMI), and he is around the 24-and-a-half stone marker.

Whilst I definitely think he looks better on the slimmer side (I say slimMER - obviously I've never actually seen him slim) obviously his weight didn't put me off marrying him.

I will say something though - when his weight began to be a hindrance to his mobility, that is when things got really tough. To a certain extent his mobility is still hindered, but not as badly as it was when he was at his biggest. That's something that I wish had never happened, and he wishes that too - that he had never gotten that big.

I'm quite excited at the fact that he's losing weight, and I don't deny that I would like him to be normal weight, but I care about him despite his weight. I'm not some peculiar chubby-chaser - I'd rather he wasn't big, but I'm not shallow either, I can see past it.
i like guys that are normal/slightly overweight (fun to cuddle!!) or muscly. i dont like skinny guys !!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17 years of age and to be honest, I'm not the skinniest person ever. I'm not fat in the original sense of the word, I'm overweight (but obviously in society if you're not skinny - you're fat). In school I generally block girls out (I'm not gay, to be honest I just don't want to be distracted and don't like 'flirting' with girls, I do speak to girls obviously haha but not on a minute-to-minute basis).

The real question is, is being overweight a deterrent to girls? or do some girls not mind a big person?


yes.
Reply 5
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SFCAlex
If you care so much then lose some weight.
Reply 6
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aftrglw
6
If you want to get girls, as long as you're not obese, what really matters is how you feel. If you're not happy with your body, lose weight or work out so that you are. Really, confidence is what matters. I know guys who are good looking, shy guys in very good shape who have very unsuccessful love lives. And I know rather big guys who are funny, charming, and confident who are juggling multiple, cute girls. Being active and feeling good about your body can do wonders for your self-esteem... which rather directly translates into doing well with women. It's also worth it for other reasons. But ultimately, it's your self-confidence and behaviour more than your body that counts.
if you want the truth, yes, being obese is a deterrant to girls. if you are funny and nice etc. then you can move past that but you might just end up in the friend zone. i would lose weight, for your health if anything.
Original post by SFCAlex
If you care so much then lose some weight.


Why should he? To fit into "Social Norms" if he is happy with his weight and it isn't effecting his health he should need to change for anyone but himself.


Original post by Bellissima
if you want the truth, yes, being obese is a deterrant to girls. if you are funny and nice etc. then you can move past that but you might just end up in the friend zone. i would lose weight, for your health if anything.


Right im not a girl but this is such b.s. Every girl has there own taste in men. They might base it on size, personality and even education and future career prospects so no it isn't maybe it is to you but would you 100% base a relationship on looks alone? Does the person have to be perfect? Sure physical attraction needs to be there but judging someone because of there size is disgusting.
Original post by ALazyThracian
Why should he? To fit into "Social Norms" if he is happy with his weight and it isn't effecting his health he should need to change for anyone but himself.




Right im not a girl but this is such b.s. Every girl has there own taste in men. They might base it on size, personality and even education and future career prospects so no it isn't maybe it is to you but would you 100% base a relationship on looks alone? Does the person have to be perfect? Sure physical attraction needs to be there but judging someone because of there size is disgusting.


most tastes are pretty similar on certain aspects e.g. weight, and most (not all) would not actively find obese attractive before getting to know the guy first. you can say what you like but it is true.
i never said there weren't other factors hence why i said you can move past your disadvantage if you're funny and nice etc... but at the end of the day if the attraction isn't there the attraction isn't there. i have male friends, as i'm sure you do, they are great people who i get on with personality wise... doesn't mean i want to bone them all. either there is no attraction or i just don't feel that way about them. i didn't judge someone because of their size either, i would be the last person to do so especially as some of the people i love most are overweight, so you can get off your high horse now. i recommend if someone is obese they should aim to lose weight for their own physical and mental health.
Original post by Bellissima
most tastes are pretty similar on certain aspects e.g. weight, and most (not all) would not actively find obese attractive before getting to know the guy first. you can say what you like but it is true.
i never said there weren't other factors hence why i said you can move past your disadvantage if you're funny and nice etc... but at the end of the day if the attraction isn't there the attraction isn't there. i have male friends, as i'm sure you do, they are great people who i get on with personality wise... doesn't mean i want to bone them all. either there is no attraction or i just don't feel that way about them. i didn't judge someone because of their size either, i would be the last person to do so especially as some of the people i love most are overweight, so you can get off your high horse now. i recommend if someone is obese they should aim to lose weight for their own physical and mental health.


Then you should of put "if you want the truth, yes, being obese is a deterrant to ME." What happens if you find a quite overweight guy who is very nice and funny would you refuse him on the grounds he is well, fat.?
Reply 11
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Lucia.
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Original post by pinkangelgirl
i like guys that are normal/slightly overweight (fun to cuddle!!) or muscly. i dont like skinny guys !!


Yeah me too.
Original post by ALazyThracian
Then you should of put "if you want the truth, yes, being obese is a deterrant to ME." What happens if you find a quite overweight guy who is very nice and funny would you refuse him on the grounds he is well, fat.?


you obviously can't read, this is the THIRD time i have now said that personality can overcome any initial lack of attraction due to obesity.

maybe i would maybe i wouldn't it would depend on whether i was attracted to him and his personality, it completely depends on the situation. you don't just date every guy you meet because you like their personality.
Being big you'll attract certain kinds of girls, but I won't suppose it will be the prettiest one.

Depends on what kind of girls you really want, and fit in their standards.
I used to be big, really big actually. I didn't have much luck with girls at the time but I was younger. Being overweight isn't good for you, so I would lose some just to be healthy really and that'll have a positive affect on your confidence. I know some very pretty girls with overweight/large boyfriends, but I know a lot of lads who don't get any attention at all. Which indicates to me that weight isn't necessarily a deciding factor in attractiveness.
Don't worry.. I don't like too skinny guys. As long as you're not completely fat and unhealthy it's fine.
I love bigger guys not in the sense of fat guys like obease but I love a man whose broad litearlly they make me wobbly at the knees
Reply 17
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Sazzy890
18
Everybody has different tastes. I don't think being bigger is necessarily a deterrent, some girls like a guy who is cuddly. If you are confident in yourself and make an effort with women, then you are bound to find someone eventually who would like you for who you are :smile:

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