from dating to friends? :/

If he's just going to be like this with you... do you really want him to even be your friend?

I think that if you're in the friendzone generally, it's almost impossible to get out. If you've dated the guy a bit already, it'll be MUCH easier to date him again rather than getting out from scratch. It's hard to know exactly where this has gone wrong. You mentioned you need closure so I get the impression you have stronger feelings than he does. If you were being clingy then that could've been a complete turn-off. If you haven't had sex and it's been 3 months or so, maybe he's just fed up. Can't really tell too much from that info.

You're better than that. The worry stops here. Too many relationships are ruined by selfish people. This guy thinks he can treat you as his second option, his back up plan. You ain't no back up plan. How about you tell him you're not a second choice and you thought it meant more? If he says let's leave it then leave it. But my god whether directly or indirectly make sure you show him who the better person is. Rise above it, dedicate yourself to self improvement and live off the motto : "The best revenge is a life well lived." Being nice to these people who use you get you nowhere, let me tell you, from the male perspective.

I tried this with a girl, it just doesn't work, you get heartbroken and hurt. I took it badly, but it inspired me to do better things and I pushed myself to become this person that anybody would be scared f friendzoning and losing.




You get one life, live it, you're worth more than that. Don't get caught up on some douchebag.

Just sounds to me like he's decided he's not ready to commit to you in a relationship. He said he hasn't emotionally bonded to you, which I think just means he's not that into you (sorry if that sounds blunt). He thought he was, he gave it a shot and now he's decided it's for the best to end it. It sucks because you obviously have emotionally bonded with him (trust me I know how you feel...been there, done that). In the end though you'll do well to move on and find someone you can connect with 100%. Just don't go blaming yourself. It's not your fault that he feels this way and there's really very little you can do about it. I don't suggest being friends with him though, as I think it'll just take you longer to get over the whole situation. Tell him you accept his decision and will move on. Don't text him, don't see him and whenever you feel the urge to contact him grind your teeth together and just don't. Soon(ish) the urge will get weaker and you'll be able to function more normally again. Good luck!

Have you had sex with him? Or at least got close to it?

I know it's a typical 'lad' attitude, but if you've been seeing each other that long and nothings happened then he's probably realised there isn't any sexual chemistry. Regardless, you don't want to be running after someone who's being like that with you. Should want better than that.

No we didn't. He has slept with 4 people, one of them was a long term relationship, two were girlfriends and the other one was a friend. he said he regretted sleepin with the last 3 because they didn't mean as much as the first girlfriend :/ and with the friend he slept with he said he regretted it because he only likes to do that sort of thing with girlfriends.

Why not then? Was it you or him who was hesitant, or was it something that just didn't happen?

Well because of what he has said about his past I guessed he likes to know people really well before he wanted to have sex etc. We always met up in public places so I guess we never got the chance to anyway

What does 'emotionally bond' even really mean? I mean we spoke everyday, he noticed if i took a long time to text back and he told me he really liked me, he would look forward to seeing me etc, would talk to me about his family friends and that sort of thing, surely that is emotionally bonding? And to refer to himself as a mug and saying he doesnt know whats wrong with him :/

Thanks for the advice, he has a few of my things so one day I will have to ask for them back but I am not going to talk to him for the next few weeks.

It just means that he doesn't feel an emotional connection, or have any romantic feelings towards you. Maybe he feels you don't have enough in common. It could just be down to him not feeling there's a 'spark', so to speak.
Sorry if it sounds harsh.
Tbh I think he should have stopped seeing you earlier on if he didn't have feelings for you, rather than now.