how many one night stands is too many?

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I've had sex with 5 and I'm 22. Would like to think that if I fall in love, the guy won't care so much about how many I've slept with. 2 of the guys I've had sex with were boyfriends and 1 was a friend. I've had some casual sex because I was used to being in a relationship and I wanted to make sure I explored my sexuality fully. I know it'll make it easier for me to date when I come round to it. I can now tell the difference between love and lust which I didn't realise before.

Reply 61

OddThings

If you are above the level of Barney Stinson :wink:

Reply 62

taufeeq

5 times dats too much...u have the rest of life,with how many people u r gonna hav sex with....i can say its sluttish.. :confused:

One.

Original post by The_Goose

I think one night stands in general are a bit slutty tbh, but maybe I'm one of those old fashioned types that doesn't draw the distinction between meaningful love-making with a partner and casual sex just for sexs sake.

This x 100

Reply 65

Wild Horses

Original post by Wilfred Little

One.

agreed!

Reply 66

sassy123

Op the fact you have asked us this means you think we will all think of you as a slut.In all fairness i would think you would be called one yes there is worse but it does not make you any better by doing the same.

Reply 67

sekret

To all the people saying 5 one night stands is bad...

Which of these do you class as 'better':

10 'boyfriends' who you didn't necessarily love or even have particularly strong feelings for and quite likely only had sex with a handful of times at most

or 5 one night stands where the outcome was the same. One off sex with someone where you were perfectly safe, no one was harmed and everyone had a good time.

Why does it make so much difference just because something can be termed as a boyfriend or casual? I've had one night stands with people who i've known for years and had feelings for and then i've had sex with girlfriends who i wasn't overly fussed about at the time..

Reply 68

username917703

Original post by sekret

They're both bad. The more people you sleep with, the harder it is to stick to one person. There's evidence to back it up, it's not a coincidence 2nd, 3rd, 4th+ marriages fail either.

It depends what you want and what you're looking for -- if you just want sex and never plan on settling down and having kids then do what you like, if you want something more then don't. I personally think ONS are a rotten, empty way to live. That's just me though.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 69

sekret

Original post by Wilfred Little

They're both bad. The more people you sleep with, the harder it is to stick to one person. There's evidence to back it up, it's not a coincidence 2nd, 3rd, 4th+ marriages fail either.

I guess i can only speak for myself when saying that regardless of how many people i've slept with, it doesn't affect whether i'd cheat or not. If anything my latest relationship was the best by a long shot and that's obviously while i'm at my highest number of people that i've slept with.

I can't really think of too many people who would categorically say they will never ever settle down and will only sleep around. But personally i don't see anything wrong with filling the gaps between loving relationships :smile:

I can quite easily differentiate between purely physical pleasure and romantic and loving pleasure. As long as someone can do that then I don't see an issue

Reply 70

username917703

Original post by sekret

I can quite easily differentiate between purely physical pleasure and romantic and loving pleasure. As long as someone can do that then I don't see an issue

It still failed.

As for the last sentence, you won't see an issue, cos you're the one doing it, you're not gonna admit it's an issue on here. Someone who cheats on a test doesn't see an issue with it but those that don't, do.

Reply 71

Yuri

Original post by mau5

Dirtier than Hitlers kill/death ratio.

Lmfao

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 72

Lucia.

Original post by sekret

I guess i can only speak for myself when saying that regardless of how many people i've slept with, it doesn't affect whether i'd cheat or not.

I can't really think of too many people who would categorically say they will never ever settle down and will only sleep around. But personally i don't see anything wrong with filling the gaps between loving relationships :smile:

I can quite easily differentiate between purely physical pleasure and romantic and loving pleasure. As long as someone can do that then I don't see an issue

Ditto. Sometimes sex is just sex. I think it'll make me less likely to cheat. If I've had it with more than a few people, I won't always be wanting another bite of the cherry. Besides, there is a difference between sex for fun and sex when you're in love. If you find a great person you're in love with and sexually compatible with, there's no reason to be wanting it from anyone else because you're getting regular sex and you're in a meaningful relationship.

Reply 73

sekret

Original post by Wilfred Little

So you're saying my last relationship failed because in my past I have had one night stands? If that was your point then it's insane, it failed because she moved 400 miles away.

Reply 74

Bellissima

as many as YOU like... if you start to feel crap about it then i think that's probably time to stop. make sure you're using protection.

Reply 75

coffeepirate

Each to their own and I'm not one to judge, unless they're spreading something nasty around. But the fact that you need to ask a bunch of strangers suggests that you feel that there is something wrong with it, or need someone to validate what you're doing :/

Reply 76

username917703

Original post by sekret

So you're saying my last relationship failed because in my past I have had one night stands? If that was your point then it's insane, it failed because she moved 400 miles away.

You mentioned it like it was a success :confused:

You're not together anymore :confused:

If it was as good as you think it was you'd have found a way to make it work if there was nothing wrong with it and the "best by a long shot" lol.

Reply 77

sekret

Original post by Wilfred Little

You mentioned it like it was a success :confused:

You're not together anymore :confused:

If it was as good as you think it was you'd have found a way to make it work if there was nothing wrong with it and the "best by a long shot" lol.

At no point did i say there was nothing wrong with it :s-smilie:

Breaking up was the correct thing to do. What i did say was that the relationship didn't suffer in any way from the fact i've had one night stands, which you're suggesting was a detriment to my relationship.

If you wish to point out how exactly my past has any correlation to a breakup due to distance then be my guest.

Reply 78

username447608

I personally would never have a one night stand just because I dont personally feel idea with the concept of casual sex, sex with strangers thats not to say i have any issues at all with people who do.

Howeverrr the guy im seeing and all his friends got a bit drunk one night and were talking about their one night stands, they said in their words ' a girl who puts out on the first night is not the kind of girl you want to date' theyve all had one night stands but not a single on of their girlfriends slept with them on the first date. They also said that girls they slept with as a ons they never contacted again, or wanted to see/speak to and ignored them afterwards. Thats a male perspective I guess, and what is hsows is that men will use girls for one night but they will not date them make them their girlfriends if they are easy and im sorry to say but by putting out first date you are easy, that said if you are only looking for sex not a relationship then there is nothing wrong with it.

I also think one nights stands are a bit dodgey as you have to be certain you are not going to hurt anybody in this i mean that the guy has a girlffriend, nobody wants to be the other women and sometimes i think ons and girls who are willing to have ons are the ones that guys who want to cheat on their gfs will go to.

In short if your just after sex, and nobdoy is getting hurt by your actions then their is nothing wrong with what you are doing you could sleep with 100 people

Reply 79

AkDo

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 18 and have had 5 one night stands, but have never had sex with an actual boyfriend....

Is that slutty or just normal for someone who's not getting it regularly?!