19 and never had a boyfriend

I'm not unattractive and I get lots of male attention, but can't really understand why I haven't found the right person. In the past, I think its more that I was too shy to accept male attention and would be too scared to go on dates and stuff....but now I'm not as shy as I used to be and have just become incredibly fussy!

I've been looking for a relationship properly for the past year and there is one guy that I've been seeing on and off since then. But although we're really close to each other, we're just on different pages - he had just come out of a long term relationship and wants to be single for a while before he thinks about starting another one.

There have been several other guys who have been interested in me, but even though they've been nice and good looking, I haven't been 100% into them so haven't started anything.

I'm basically really embarrassed about never having had a boyfriend and don't really know what to do - I genuinely feel like I'm never gonna find the right person....and I'm not sure whether to wait for the guy I've been seeing, since we have vaguely talked about starting a relationship in the future :s-smilie:

help!

bump

Stay with the guy ur talking to and take things slow :smile:

I rushed into so many relationships and I promised myself that next time I'm taking it slow and building foundations first so just give him time xx

Reply 3

gingerben

take your time
if this guy feels right you could wait for him?
but dont go getting a relationship just cause you want one it never works out =]
chin up it will happen =]

Reply 4

Petit chou

I never had a serious boyfriend until i was 20, i had plenty of flings and casual relationships but never anything serious. I think it depends on the person, i enjoyed not being tied down but when i found the one i knew i was ready. When you've found the right person you'll know it and hopefully they'll feel the same way. From my experience guys who say they want to be single for a while will change their mind in a heartbeat if the right girl comes along, so if you're the one for him i'm sure he'll come around, if not you're just going to have to wait for the next mr right. You're being sensible by being picky, you don't want to end up in a relationship you're not happy in just to say you're in a relationship, these never work. Hold out until you find the right guy for you and don't worry about what people think about you not having a relationship. Have the fun whilst your young and you won't go seeking what you missed out on when you're older.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 5

brunettegirl92

20 and never had a relationship - i am also picky. I had a guy i liked for a very long while - i like to think it was mutual, but after a while we no longer 'clicked', **** kicked off and we are no longer on good terms. I still miss him and think of him - a part of me thinks i will always have these feelings, but i know it will never work so i need to move on - so i guess i haven't found the right one yet either.

If this guy is special, then maybe wait for him. but talk to him, see if he feels anything for you - you do not have to explicitly ask him, but just see if there are any signs if you want.
Just make sure you don't wait round for him and he decides you don't 'click' or that he likes someone else.

Don't dive into a relationship just because you want one. if you decide not to go with this guy, or it simply never works out, then go to places where you are likely to find the right type, such as a society for something :smile:

Reply 6

Flying_Manboobs

Im in the same situation. But i believe that gunniess got it right: good things come to those who wait.

Reply 7

Alpharius

Look, I bet that you didn't do this, but type this exact title into search. You'll find that your situation is not unique, some have posted the same thing but their 28.

It's as if everyone needs their own "I'm <insertage> and a virgin!!!" thread...

EDIT:

Original post by Flying_Manboobs

Im in the same situation. But i believe that gunniess got it right: good things come to those who wait.

Wrong.

Good things comes to those who get off their arse and look for them.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

At least you get male attention, I'm the same age as you, never had a boyfriend and never had any male attention, even outside from strangers like other girls, I don't have any prospects at all, while you have a chance to find and develop a relationship :smile:

Reply 9

Feilo

I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend until a few weeks ago. I understand exactly how you feel: that I was unattractive despite the fact that I've always been in a male social group (nothing slutty or anything, I just get along better and enjoy having male friends rather than female). I never got any attention from guys in that way too. I'd joke around with guys in a flirty way, but (I don't think) that they were interested. I never developed any romantic feelings for any guys either. But this guy I met, there was something that intrigued me about him. And he was honest about things and said straight that he was interested. And things just started from there. He's a few years older than me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not embarressing that you haven't had a boyfriend. It just takes time for some people to find someone who interests you enough to want something to happen. If that guy has just gone out of a long relationship, it may take a while for him to get over it. It really depends how much you like him. If you like him a lot, and want to go into a relationship, then tell him that and say that you are willing to wait. Otherwise just keep looking. there''s no need to rush into one because you'll just be unhappy about things etc. And plus, if you weren't attractive or even had some good features, guy wouldn't flirt with you. :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 10

tooti

I've never had a boyfriend either, just casual relationships which were what I wanted at the time but now I want to have a long-term relationship and I cannot get any male attention whatsoever!

I think i'm just going to focus on other things because I don't want to appear desperate and I feel like overthinking it just makes me feel worse :/ Hopefully there is someone out there for me anyway, they just better make an appearance soon :angry:

haha

Reply 11

Classical Liberal

I really think this whole wait and see for ages approach to getting into a relationship is a bad move really.

I think you should just jump in and take it slowly, but jump in. You can always break up if it does not work.

Don't be really picky and conservative, the odds are not in your favour with that approach.