Do you ever get over being cheated on
Its been a year 1 year and 3 months and I still push every one away. My best mate was cheated on and she has moved on and fallen in love again, which is half the time I found about my guy cheating on me.
Why can't I just open up and just let people in?
Why can't I just open up and just let people in?
xIf it was after like a 2 week relationship, obviously. If it was someone that was supposed to be in love with you, I'd say no.
Gonna get abit deep here; I think you can 'get over' anything if you draw a line under the past and learn the art of forgiveness.
If you understand that just because one person has mistreated you, it is their fault, not everyone else's fault, so you should just blame them.
I remember being in a relationship with a girl, and in the first 2/3 months had real trust issues, which came to a head when we were with a group socialising with others. She basically implied because she had been cheated on before that I would do the same, which led to an arguement, and me walking off. We were together for just under 3 years and alot of it was awesome, and both of us would have missed out on that good times if she hadn't realised that I was not her ex.
Ironically towards the end of our relationship, which was messy, there were accusations of her cheating on me.
For a few months I was ****ed off.
But then started reading my personal development books, and decided that regardless of whether she did or didn't, I would forgive her anyway.
And I'd forgive those who have bullied me, beaten me up.
More importantly, I'd forgive myself of all the bad, morally wrong and pure hateful things that I had done in the past.
The past was yesterday.
Don't live by what happened then, live by what you want to achieve in the future.
Some of the people that have gone down in history as being truely fulfilled released all the hateful feelings they had and never judged others based on their previous experiances.
There's a motivational speaker called Charlie Plumb who was a POW in Vietnam for 6 years and spent a few years in solitary confinment, was regularly beaten up and tortured. And his message is all about peace and forgiveness.
Hatred is a consuming emotion that serve's very little use.
Use pain to make you stronger and more loving.
If you understand that just because one person has mistreated you, it is their fault, not everyone else's fault, so you should just blame them.
I remember being in a relationship with a girl, and in the first 2/3 months had real trust issues, which came to a head when we were with a group socialising with others. She basically implied because she had been cheated on before that I would do the same, which led to an arguement, and me walking off. We were together for just under 3 years and alot of it was awesome, and both of us would have missed out on that good times if she hadn't realised that I was not her ex.
Ironically towards the end of our relationship, which was messy, there were accusations of her cheating on me.
For a few months I was ****ed off.
But then started reading my personal development books, and decided that regardless of whether she did or didn't, I would forgive her anyway.
And I'd forgive those who have bullied me, beaten me up.
More importantly, I'd forgive myself of all the bad, morally wrong and pure hateful things that I had done in the past.
The past was yesterday.
Don't live by what happened then, live by what you want to achieve in the future.
Some of the people that have gone down in history as being truely fulfilled released all the hateful feelings they had and never judged others based on their previous experiances.
There's a motivational speaker called Charlie Plumb who was a POW in Vietnam for 6 years and spent a few years in solitary confinment, was regularly beaten up and tortured. And his message is all about peace and forgiveness.
Hatred is a consuming emotion that serve's very little use.
Use pain to make you stronger and more loving.
I'm having a similar problem really. My ex cheated on me just before our 1 year and led me on for a few months after that, right up until the day he got a new girlfriend. It's been 10 months and it still hurts, but when I think about it, it's more the betrayal of trust and just the mess surrounding it, rather than the guy himself that makes me upset.
I like to think it's possible to get over it, but really the thought of anything serious is really off putting because I'm just not ready to trust anyone again yet.
Focus on healing yourself before you get involved with someone again. Next time you let someone into your life that closely, make sure they're worth it - don't just jump into something because you feel like you have to, or even worse as a rebound because the other person may end up getting hurt, and that's not fair.
I'm getting by by telling myself that good things are worth waiting for. One day someone will come along who thinks you're more than enough, you just need to be patient. Nothing worth having comes easy, and all that.
Anyway, the point it that it will get better, it has to
I like to think it's possible to get over it, but really the thought of anything serious is really off putting because I'm just not ready to trust anyone again yet.
Focus on healing yourself before you get involved with someone again. Next time you let someone into your life that closely, make sure they're worth it - don't just jump into something because you feel like you have to, or even worse as a rebound because the other person may end up getting hurt, and that's not fair.
I'm getting by by telling myself that good things are worth waiting for. One day someone will come along who thinks you're more than enough, you just need to be patient. Nothing worth having comes easy, and all that.
Anyway, the point it that it will get better, it has to
ive been thinking about this a lot recently and ive come to the conclusion that i will never forgive someone i am in a relationship with if he cheated on me.regardless if he was drunk,as thats just an excuse.i dont think i would even forigve my husband if i was married:\
ive been cheated on once in the past.well,my ex-boyfriend had an affair with his ex. im always wary of ex-girlfriends because of this.
ive been cheated on once in the past.well,my ex-boyfriend had an affair with his ex. im always wary of ex-girlfriends because of this.
Original post by laprenti
Hmm, no offence to anyone, but I've never understood the problem of 'cheating', humans aren't completely monogamous, and straying doesn't mean (in some-to-most cases) that they love you less
(edited 11 years ago)
My little brother used to take money from the bank in monopoly and still to this day denies it, even though I watched him do it plenty of times.
Jokes on him though because since then I've been using his toothbrush to clean my shoes, dip my junk in his drinks and cum in his girlfriends moisturisers.
Jokes on him though because since then I've been using his toothbrush to clean my shoes, dip my junk in his drinks and cum in his girlfriends moisturisers.
Spoiler
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by gintoki
:P I'm not disputing the fact that it hurts people to know that their partner cheated on them, and that is why it is seen as morally wrong, but I'm questioning the idea of objective morality, and why it's seen as a betrayal of trust in the first place, why is it that in the west, in general, that if you love someone then you must only be with them and no one else, or otherwise it's not love? It all comes down to evolution.
As Dr. Robert Sapolsky says, humans are both naturally a pair-bonding species and polygamists, which causes extreme confusion and is the reason for all of our heartbreak and romantic literature
I'm not advocating that everyone have open relationships, just that they could sometimes remember that it's natural, not to be idealistic and not always jump to the conclusion that the other person loves you less
And 'wrong' and 'right' at the end of the day only depend on your goals.
Yeah you do. I was cheated on 8 years ago (Yes, I'm old) by a long-term partner. I have to say that's the relationship I had the hardest time getting over. Not because I loved him, which I did at the time, or because I still had feelings for him, but that I hated him for years and years. I seethed with anger every time I though about him until about, if I'm honest, about 2 years ago.
I'm happy now and I suppose I just put it to rest. I realised all along that it wasn't healthy to hate someone that much, that he as young and stupid (he was 20 and in his first year of uni, so everything was new and exciting) and that it didn't reflect his character. I've added him on FB now and he's the person I talk to most out of all of my pre-uni friends. I eventually realised that he's actually a nice guy who made a big mistake, that we have a lot in common and I would like to be his friend again. I can honestly say now that I am completely over it.
I'm happy now and I suppose I just put it to rest. I realised all along that it wasn't healthy to hate someone that much, that he as young and stupid (he was 20 and in his first year of uni, so everything was new and exciting) and that it didn't reflect his character. I've added him on FB now and he's the person I talk to most out of all of my pre-uni friends. I eventually realised that he's actually a nice guy who made a big mistake, that we have a lot in common and I would like to be his friend again. I can honestly say now that I am completely over it.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Boyfriend going on a lads holiday!!
- Should I forgive my cheating boyfriend?
- Do you consider this as cheating (Girls)
- Is he cheating or am I just overthinking?
- Guy I've been talking to for months revealed he has a girlfriend
- Would you be happy if your boyfriend did this?
- Scared of life
- Is this fair and does this make her insecure
- My girlfriend of almost 5 years cheated on me while black out drunk
- I've used my calculator in a maths exam by accident, should I tell someone?
- Confession: I'm a serial cheater
- Boyfriend on "Lads holiday"
- Any advice about what to ask at speed dating events?
- Break up with him after 5 hours?
- Do I keep in contact?
- Is ChatGPT a Friend or foe?
- I hate my boyfriends body count
- I can't stop cheating
- what to do when you see a student cheating in an exam?
- Is it okay for my gf to speak to her ex? (Hear me out)
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
