Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...

So there is a guy I'm attracted to at work its getting me annoyed because he just throws all sort ls of signals and i can not figure him out at all.

When we first started work together he was incredibly shy and didn't talk much at all. Being the talkative type i pulled him out of his shell a little and managed to get to know him better. We talk quite a bit day to day but he constantly looks at his feet or looks at something else while he talks to me he hardly gives me any eye contact.

Some days though he will completely blank me or not say much to me at all and it feels like he doesn't want to talk. Which obviously is annoying because he has spent time talking to me into the early hours in the morning via facebook.

Is he just shy and thats a shy guys way of talking to people or does he like me but afraid to let other people in the workplace see that? Whats up with him? Btw he is in his mid 20s me in my early 20s if that makes a difference.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Most likely shy - give him time.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Meet up somewhere outside of work?

Should help abit :h:

Reply 3

katyness

Why is everyone posting anonymously??

OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Reply 4

bloomblaze

Original post by katyness

Why is everyone posting anonymously??

OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Why must the man be expected to always make the first move/ask the girl out?

Why cant a girl ask a guy out? Instead of 'walking' away if he doesnt make a move.(he maybe needs her to make a move as he is shy/scared of rejection etc)

Reply 5

fortransexual

katyness just discovered the reason why girls always go out with jerks.

a lot of decent guys are shy about asking girls out.

it feels like an intrusion plus if it's at work he could be worried it would end really badly if you said no

Reply 6

You Failed

Original post by katyness

OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

This is a load of crap. A lot of guys are too shy for that, they'll then assume because you've walked away that you didn't like them.

Reply 7

mc1000

Original post by katyness

Why is everyone posting anonymously??

OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out.

Yes they are. What the hell leads you to that conclusion?! Having been rejected before, I know how humiliating it is - so I never just go and ask a girl out unless I'm irrefutably certain she likes me - which is never.

Perhaps if girls didn't mindlessly flirt just to get a guy to like them for a confidence boost, then your assertion would be more accurate.

Reply 8

katyness

Original post by bloomblaze

He doesn't have to. There are plenty of girls who throw themselves at guys and that's fine for them. I'm a bit more traditional.

Plus, I wouldn't like to go out with a guy who is not confident enough to take risks to pursue what he wants.

Original post by fortransexual

Well I always have this in mind and I've never gone out with a jerk.

Reply 9

Freak Out

I usually find it easier to talk online. Try adding him on Facebook.

Reply 10

katyness

Original post by You Failed

This is a load of crap. A lot of guys are too shy for that, they'll then assume because you've walked away that you didn't like them.

You gotta take risks sometimes.

Original post by mc1000

Yes they are. What the hell leads you to that conclusion?! Having been rejected before, I know how humiliating it is - so I never just go and ask a girl out unless I'm irrefutably certain she likes me - which is never.

Perhaps if girls didn't mindlessly flirt just to get a guy to like them for a confidence boost, then your assertion would be more accurate.

The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.

If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.

Reply 11

mc1000

Original post by katyness

Plus, I wouldn't like to go out with a guy who is not confident enough to take risks to pursue what he wants.

What an irrelevant, moronic comment. Is a guy showing signs that he likes you not confidence in itself?

It works both ways, y'know. Many guys won't take a risk if a girl 'walks away' just because he won't ask her out; that just 'confirms' to them what they feared all along - that the girl doesn't like them.

Also, not asking a girl out =/= lack of confidence.

Reply 12

Jorddds

Easy, ask him if hes doing something when youre free because you want to go watch a film or something. His reply will be telling :smile:

Reply 13

mc1000

Original post by katyness

The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.

Again... do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be rejected? If the guy *must* ask a girl out (which he shouldn't have to; it's the 21st Century), she should take half the risk herself, by making it *absolutely obvious* that she likes him - but ONLY if she likes him.

If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.

Flirting suggests interest. What's the distinction in body language between proper flirting and mindless flirting?! There isn't any. Of course a guy will get excited if he misreads the signals and thinks you're interested in him.

A better, more logical way of putting it: if girls didn't mindlessly flirt, guys wouldn't have to worry about rejection.

Bottom line: girls who flirt casually are morally repulsive.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 14

Jorddds

The whole "the man should be the one to __________" approach is dated. Of course to some women theyd prefer it or its cute, but on the flipside same could be said for some men.

Reply 15

bloomblaze

Original post by katyness

You gotta take risks sometimes.

The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.

If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.

have you ever asked a guy out?

Have you ever been rejected by a guy?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 16

Krov

Are you ridiculously hot, OP?

That might be a problem with shy guys.

Reply 17

mc1000

Original post by katyness

You gotta take risks sometimes.

Original post by bloomblaze

have you ever asked a guy out?

Have you ever been rejected by a guy?

Perhaps you could spell it out even more obviously - has she ever taken any risk in which her dignity is at stake? She seems to consider it necessary to do so - thus you'd expect that she has indeed taken the risk of asking a guy out, and that her argument is therefore solidly founded and not at all hypocritical. Is that right, Katyness?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 18

Anonymous #4

I'm a girl and I've asked blokes out before but because there is a prevailing assumption that men will go for anything they can get it is even more humiliating to be rejected. There is also a nagging paranoia afterwards that perhaps they wouldn't have asked you themselves and that they could only have lukewarm interest. If a man asks you out at least you know for sure they want you. Also, given the general assumption that all men are easy (which is totally false) you worry about coming across as desperate since any desirable girl would get asked out easily.

I asked a girl out once in a gay bar just to see what it was like to chat up a girl. I found it a hell of a lot easier and quite a power trip, but probably only because I didn't care if she said yes or not.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by Krov

Are you ridiculously hot, OP?

That might be a problem with shy guys.

I have been told that im good looking but personally would think im average; there has been times that ive been followed around the store with guys pestering me for my number. I find these sort of guys unattractive after all they want my number before they even get to known me at all.

I guess that is why i prefer shyer guys they arent arrogant but i guess i need to be patient to see how he feels about me.