Did I do the right thing for ignoring this guy?

Public transport is by and large not a socially acceptable place to chat people up.

Neither is being overly complimentary having just met someone, neither is telling someone you like them after a 30 minute conversation. There's also the fact that he's 5 years older than her.

From a girls' point of view that all spells creepy.

Ive only just met him, I have spoken to him for about 30 mins on the bus. He told me he fancies me, I thought he was a weird and strange because he asked for my number and gave me many compliments! I just ignore his texts as I find it creepy, I haven't spoken or seen him for a few days. Anyway today when I was on the bus, he came on! I didn't look at him, he sat a few seats infront of me. He was with his friend and I heard him say ''The girl behind, I like''. His friend looked at me. When I got off the bus he said to me ''Hello (my name)'' and I just smiled and blanked him, I can tell he wanted to speak to me, he looked well sad. Did I do the right thing or am I being too harsh? I'm not sure if his a creep or just a shy guy?

Yes I know I was harsh :|

Oh btw his 22 and I'm 17.

Public transport is by and large not a socially acceptable place to chat people up.

Neither is being overly complimentary having just met someone, neither is telling someone you like them after a 30 minute conversation. There's also the fact that he's 5 years older than her.

From a girls' point of view that all spells creepy.

What exactly is creepy about chatting someone up outside of a bar/club? Suppose the guy was good looking, sharply dressed, confident and charming. Also say the girl noticed him first, made eye contact and smiled. Not an unlikely scenario. Would it still be 'creepy' for the guy to start a conversation?

And strong wtf at people thinking 30 minutes in is too soon to express interest. You can do it right away and still get a good response, provided you come off in the right way.

Now if he is a creep then its best not to encourage him. The girl did the right thing in regards to her own safety. The guy is either a creep or is just socially awkward. Chatting up strangers on the bus is not generally common behaviour

how the **** is it creepy??

He sounds confident, he had the balls to talk to you in the day time, chat you up in the day time. Us brits are so socially awkward its unreal ***EDIT (i meant her) ***

"you cannot talk to me/chat me up because I am on a bus and that is not socially acceptable, yet chat me up in a bar and thats a ok!!"

Its so stupid its unreal, since when does a situation or place matter where you talk to someone?? In America for the most part people will get chatting to you wherever regardless to where you are, us brits are so reserved that its going to get us no where. Hes texting you because he likes you, in no way what youve described sounds creepy whatsoever, (if the contexts of the texts are creepy then I would disagree) Oh and age is just a number, 5 years is nothing. When your 17/18 you should be mature enough to date someone in their 20's. This is obviously relative "age is just a number" like all things when the gap is too large then its a problem, so dont get all oh so a 40 year old can date a 17 year old, as thats obviously not what I said.

Question OP.....If the person in question met you in a bar or a pub which is so called socially 'acceptable' would you percieve him differently, yes or no? I think the answer would be the former. For the very reason you met on a bus and you find that "creepy" and its no wonder guys often find themseleves with low self esteem and self confidence when girls treat them like this..

"nah mate cant chat her up on a bus during the day as thats creepy, wait till your both in a bar and then itll be ok"

Girls are stupid (yes before people berate me, there are exceptions to everything and there are guys out there who are creepy, but dont think that everything a guy does, just because it is out of the ordinary, or a bit bold that he is automatically creepy, dont collectively rule out all guys because of a select few)

/rant over.

I shall refer you to the post I made in reply to midlandsman which will be just above this one I should think.

I explain why it is socially acceptable to talk to someone in a bar and why not on a tube station and women's reasoning behind doing this.

At the end of the day it is about safety, avoiding unwanted attention and harassment.

It is nothing to do with girls being stupid. And if guys have low self esteem because they are not aware of what is and is not socially acceptable then it is not girl's fault.

It is not mean for a girl to not want to talk to a random guy who tries to engage her in conversation. It is her choice to decide who she speaks to. As it is with anyone. You in no way owe it to some stranger to speak to them.

Attention from men on the street or public transport can often be a nuisance or even be intimidating.

My way of explaining it is that being chatted up up the street or on public transport is like being confronted by a Charity Mugger (you know those people who accost you and try to make you give money to random charities). It's not inherently a bad thing but it's a nuisance, you're trying to get on your your way but you don't want to be rude and you never quite know how they're going to react to you telling them you're not interested.

My advice is this, if you want to speak to a girl on the street/public transport then only do it if the conversation comes about naturally or there is another excuse for it. Ie. you make a comment about the fact that the bus has been stuck in traffic for ages or you're on the tube and someone's pushed the alarm button etc.

Random conversations coming out of nowhere are largely unwanted and irritating. When out in public women often have their "social shutters" as I call them up in order to fend off unwanted attention from men. Why chatting up women in bars etc works is because these are places where it is acceptable to bring the shutters down and they feel safe in doing so.

I shall reiterate the point about safety. When a woman is in the street or on public transport she is concerned for her safety. Male attention is a potential threat to her safety, because you never know how they are going to react. They might get nasty or aggressive.

If as you've suggested the girl made eye contact first of course that is fine, but when approaching a girl cold the bus is not usually the place to do it.

And also your point about the appearance of the guy making the difference. to be honest it doesn't. Unwanted attention is unwanted attention.

And to your point about 30 minutes being long enough? Honestly no it isn't. Sometimes coming on strong might get results but when it's a complete stranger and you're only 17 it can freak you out. It would freak most women out unless the conversation has been going really, really well. Which from the OP's reaction I doubt it was.

Flawed argument, women survived talking to strangers long before now, you're trying to find a universal excuse for a specific geo-cultural attitude.

You grow up in a culture that dictates that all strangers are potential threats, everyone is going to believe it, doesn't make it true.

We as a country have predominantly been raised to value our personal space while out and about in our daily lives, and we justify it in several ways, the potential threat issue being one of them. Objectively speaking any given average stranger is about as likely to harm us as any other. Kind of ironic that some people seem to regard a friendly conversation as defcon 1 and happily ignore the notably quiet people around them, anyone who could be just as much a potential danger to your safety as anyone else.

Most women are not constantly on the look out for potential partners/dates when they are just getting on with their day to day life.

My way of explaining it is that being chatted up up the street or on public transport is like being confronted by a Charity Mugger (you know those people who accost you and try to make you give money to random charities). It's not inherently a bad thing but it's a nuisance, you're trying to get on your your way but you don't want to be rude and you never quite know how they're going to react to you telling them you're not interested.

And to your point about 30 minutes being long enough? Honestly no it isn't. Sometimes coming on strong might get results but when it's a complete stranger and you're only 17 it can freak you out. It would freak most women out unless the conversation has been going really, really well. Which from the OP's reaction I doubt it was.

To be honest no I'm going on personal experience and the experience of others.

A hell of a lot of times some guy who has seemed friendly and harmless has turned nasty or gropy. A friend of mine had her breasts aggressively groped by a guy who tried to talk to her on the bus. I've had guys verbally abuse me when I try and politely give them the message that I'm not interested in talking to them or had them suddenly put their arms round me and restrain me when they try to talk to me.

And while it may be hard to put down into words sometimes someone just makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe they're getting just a bit too close or leaning towards you too much. Maybe the way he's looking at you makes you feel uncomfortable.

And at the end of the day there's no reason why you should feel obliged to respond when a stranger tries to talk to you. It might be more polite but you don't know them and you're just trying to get on with your life. They are imposing on your time and privacy.

To be honest no I'm going on personal experience and the experience of others.

A hell of a lot of times some guy who has seemed friendly and harmless has turned nasty or gropy. A friend of mine had her breasts aggressively groped by a guy who tried to talk to her on the bus. I've had guys verbally abuse me when I try and politely give them the message that I'm not interested in talking to them or had them suddenly put their arms round me and restrain me when they try to talk to me.

And while it may be hard to put down into words sometimes someone just makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe they're getting just a bit too close or leaning towards you too much. Maybe the way he's looking at you makes you feel uncomfortable.

And at the end of the day there's no reason why you should feel obliged to respond when a stranger tries to talk to you. It might be more polite but you don't know them and you're just trying to get on with your life. They are imposing on your time and privacy.

Ive only just met him, I have spoken to him for about 30 mins on the bus. He told me he fancies me, I thought he was a weird and strange because he asked for my number and gave me many compliments! I just ignore his texts as I find it creepy, I haven't spoken or seen him for a few days. Anyway today when I was on the bus, he came on! I didn't look at him, he sat a few seats infront of me. He was with his friend and I heard him say ''The girl behind, I like''. His friend looked at me. When I got off the bus he said to me ''Hello (my name)'' and I just smiled and blanked him, I can tell he wanted to speak to me, he looked well sad. Did I do the right thing or am I being too harsh? I'm not sure if his a creep or just a shy guy?

Yes I know I was harsh :|

Oh btw his 22 and I'm 17.