the personal statement is very good on one hand, however, i find that saying the NHS, being the largest employer etc etc......is quite offputting. it appears you are doing saying it, because you admire the ease of getting the nursing job, once you graduate.
I mean, if i was a university tutor selecting cadidates, i would rather reject someone who wants to come on the nursing course, simply because of the motive of getting a job straight away. It is your job to show them that your desire, (which you have done quite well) is to do nursing "for the sake of nursing!"
I may be wrong in what i say, and i am sure others will help you to the best personal statement possible.