The Student Room Group

Why aren't males treating females like Ladies anymore?

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Original post by jackmikeMon
I will also be surprised if pornography doesn't crop up in playing a role in this topic. It has to be considered - does the gripping hold of porn on 99.9% of young men have a significant relation to degrading views of females in general and what is expected of them? Personally, I think it most definitely does.


Media effects is not limited to sex even though people like to think it does. So, tell me, how many lives have been lost through suicide by the hateful mental trauma that has been induced by homophobic people with the vocal usage of Biblical texts? Is the Bible to blame?
Original post by emclme
I suppose it is because of a number of things, feminists criticising men for opening doors for them. This determination to be equal to men has led men to believe they don't have to place women on pedestal and treat them like the "meek and mild" damsels in distress of the past. Although, it can't fully be blamed on feminists, society doesn't expect men to treat women with respect, which means it has become appropriate for men to treat women as sexual objects-nothing else. Call me old-fashioned but I still believe in good manners, holding doors for people, replying with please and thank you, the amount of times I expect the following, only to get pissed of with the rudeness of some people. For instance, if I'm on the bus and some chav comes along with a push chair, I'll obviously give up my seat but rarely do I even get a simple smile, never mind a thank you.


This drives me up the wall, maybe its a big city English thing but i cannot abide bad manners and Birmingham is saturated in it. In my home town people always (well nearly always) say please and thank you, here you barely get a caveman grunt. In Ireland a little old lady would be helped out with her shopping, here shes lucky if the doors not slammed in her face as she struggles with her bags. Thankfully im moving home and away from this dump of country.

But anyway i treat all people with respect providing it shown to me, whilst i maintain a certain chivilric stylings towards women i certainly dont go out of my way to do so because they have different genitals to me
Reply 82
tl;dr
Original post by jackmikeMon
As I have grown up I have inevitably gained a more in-depth understanding about general intimacy. But in doing so, I have come to recognise a gradual detioration of respect from men towards the opposite sex, which I believe has been gradually breaking down for at least several decades. I find this is especially the case amongst a seemingly large majority of many of my male acquaintances at college, and, although they are not aware themselves that I resent them for it, some of the attitudes they express towards females I find are terribly disrespectful.


Respect is not a right acquired simply through being born with a second X chromosome instead of a Y chromosome. Respect has to be earned.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Discouraged One
What does it mean to act like a lady?

This question is for everyone, I'm genuinely interested to know what your definitions of a lady are.


Here's something very brief
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Lady
The reason women in 1950 didn't dress with "next to nothing" is because they couldn't and it wasn't acceptable. I'm sure many of them would have loved to dress that way. Some women love the attention they get for dressing revealingly. Some women resent it. However no one is "forced" to dress in any particular way, which is what you seem to suggest.

I believe that (as long as there's no hooting involved), men have the right to say whatever they want about women in their own group. They are allowed to view us as "sexual objects" if they so please (by "sexual objects" I don't mean something with no desires or emotions. Just something with the potential for sexual relationships).

I used to compared sexist remarks to racist remarks (imagine a white guy shouting to a black guy "Oh yeah baby pick my cotton!").

I can assure you though that men and women alike think of the opposite sex in a sexual way and it is unavoidable. Some just decide to be more conservative than others and I think that's when the whole "disrespect" thing comes up because they simply do not want to be viewed in that way. However, I don't think that the whole system should be changed for those people, because the opposite type of people still exists and wants the freedom to do what they like. It sould just be something that people pick up on and act accordingly, a "this is a shy/conservative person so I will not push it" type of situation. It's called manners (the reason I say "people" and not "men" or "women" is because both genders may act in those ways, even if it's the men who most commonly do the chasing).

Give it a few hundred years and the sexual taboo will be completely removed. Women are already starting to talk more openly about sex in their own groups and, yes! They also make sexual comments about "sexy" men they see randomly on the street!

In the end if everyone is open then people will just be able to choose the type of people that they want. Conservative people will stick to the conservative type and open people will stick to the open type.

Just please, guys, make sure you know what type of woman you're talking to before you make any assumptions. You don't want to offend anyone.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 86
Original post by JordanR


That's 'Chav Night' at a university. The girls have pillows stuffed under their vests.
Reply 87
Well most women try to act like men, so how do you expect men to treat them like ladies?
Original post by jackmikeMon
Again, I will make it absolutely clear: I am in no way blaming rap music for this issue, nor am I blaming any single genre of music for any issue at all. Thankyou.


But the people who make this type of music are role models for many and have an impact on society. Like you said, years ago it would be an outrage if any of the lyrics were used back then. Maybe the whole blame shouldn't be placed on them but some of the blame should. Why do the rappers hold these views? Why do they feel that it is okay to disrespect and objectify women through their music. Some of the lyrics I have read by some rappers are awful. It's not just women who they're attracted to either, they would be indirectly disrespecting people like their mothers. How can their mothers be proud of them when they're coming out with garbage like that. Some people may say this is 100% wrong because the rappers are just saying things that people want to listen to. Well I've never heard of a female coming out with disgusting derogatory lyrics in a song.
Reply 89
OP is a 'nice guy'

/thread
Reply 90
Original post by Stefan1991



Why must they be frowned upon? :confused: How is complimenting someone something to be frowned upon?

.


I very much doubt he is talking about guys saying, "Nice hair" or the like. I think he is referring to guys barely pissed going up to girls in a club and saying ,"I want to f**k you."

A compliment in the technical use of the word but offensive to 80% of the female population.
Original post by Retrodiction
Respect has to be earned.


Meh. I can agree and disagree with that.

The general feeling here (being that treating someone like a lady is disregarding pleas for equality) is one I think is more or less correct. It's a bit like the thread about whether or not women (and children) should still get the lifeboats before men on sinking ships.

I know some guys who still pretty chivalric around women. Depends on the people.
I just had some chick come up to me and ask, "Why do guys make more money an hour to do the exact same job?"



"Why? I'll tell you why", I said. "Because in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some screwed up reason, you get to leave with kids and i have to stay."

Basically, if women want to be treated equally, why do they still expect men to be chivalrous, (granted, not all women), but they can’t have it both ways, either they are equal and split the bill or men pay undercutting women’s equality
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by JessaminePoppy
Meh. I can agree and disagree with that.

The general feeling here (being that treating someone like a lady is disregarding pleas for equality) is one I think is more or less correct. It's a bit like the thread about whether or not women (and children) should still get the lifeboats before men on sinking ships.

I know some guys who still pretty chivalric around women. Depends on the people.


How can you agree and disagree with it? Either you think respect must be earned or that it is inherited through an accident of birth, e.g. the sex, race, family etc that one is born into.
Why aren't women acting like Ladies anymore?

My god some people on this forum are thick.
Original post by Retrodiction
How can you agree and disagree with it? Either you think respect must be earned or that it is inherited through an accident of birth, e.g. the sex, race, family etc that one is born into.


Nope. I think it differs between situations and individuals.

Say a guy (Mr. Einfrink) is a friend of yours. He has earned your respect and friendship over a couple of years. If you were to introduce to another friend (Miss Thirt) would Mr. Einfrink have to prove and earn her respect? Or could she just accept that he is a friend of yours and the fact that he had already earned respect?

Whether you have to earn someone's respect depends on the person. Some people go with the "a friend of a friend is a friend" thing, whereas others expect a deed or particular attitude.

I never thought you could get respect through birth, but I guess that is exactly what the social status quo is about. In that sense, I don't think I believe in that kind of "inheritance of honour through families" thing.
Original post by JessaminePoppy
Nope. I think it differs between situations and individuals.

Say a guy (Mr. Einfrink) is a friend of yours. He has earned your respect and friendship over a couple of years. If you were to introduce to another friend (Miss Thirt) would Mr. Einfrink have to prove and earn her respect? Or could she just accept that he is a friend of yours and the fact that he had already earned respect?

Whether you have to earn someone's respect depends on the person. Some people go with the "a friend of a friend is a friend" thing, whereas others expect a deed or particular attitude.

I never thought you could get respect through birth, but I guess that is exactly what the social status quo is about. In that sense, I don't think I believe in that kind of "inheritance of honour through families" thing.


If I knew that Mr Einfrink would only associate with people worthy of respect then it's fair to say that her respect has been earned, and that I wouldn't be respecting her for no reason. E.g. if I knew that Mr Einfrink respected the same kind of people that I do, and has standards of whom he respects that roughly match mine, then I would be inclined to respect Mrs Thirt, and the respect would have been earned.
"Women" can't be generally attributed with one attitude anymore. Some want to be treated like ladies, others want to be treated no differently from men. And some try to have their cake and eat it.
Yes I agree: men should treat us like ladies!
Reply 99
Original post by de_monies
Here's something very brief
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Lady


It like a "how to" on how to be a stuck up cow.

"Don't tell or listen to "dirty" jokes; if someone in your presence starts to tell one, politely excuse yourself and leave the situation."

Seriously? :lolwut: That's just retarded. Let's all be overly offended, cold-hearted and humourless because it's "classy". :rolleyes:

"Choose your friends wisely. You do not want to be embarrassed by your friends."
No one wants to be friends with an elitist snob who only cares about how they look in front of people.

"If you are saddled with a friend who is not a person you like, talk to them with tact. Explain that, while they are a great person, you don't think that the two of you are similar enough to get on well."
What a bitch.

Seriously, if someone said that to me they'd get a punch in the face.

If this is what being a 'lady' means, then I ****ing hate ladies. It seems like this 'lady' mentality is everything which is wrong in society. It develops otherwise nice people into self-absorbed, self-entitled little madams.

"Do not act like you are better than anyone else"
Funny way of showing it.

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