The Student Room Group

Your first day at uni

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Original post by Andy16
I havent bothered to read this thread seriously, but boy have you selected an uninspiring place to come for uni. I live in dunstable (next to luton) and well.... not that much fun at all! Also I shall accept an onslaught of negs... but come on bedfordshire uni? isnt that like three D's? in this day and age you may aswell of just got an apprenticeship


I've chosen it over portsmouth because I prefer the course at bedfordshire and they've got better facilities, the lecturers seemed nicer etc.

An apprenticeship isn't really an option for me... I want to do psychology and the course at bedfordshire is BPS accredited so there's no reason why I couldn't progress from it.

To be honest I like luton because it's different to where I live at the moment. Since moving from London when I was 2 I've lived in the Royal Tunbridge Wells area. Pretty much everyone here is either white middle class, polish or a chav. I really like how multicultural luton is and it's a really nice change from what I'm used to.
Original post by Hilarity
Sorry to the person I've quoted - this isn't directly in response to you, but rather to all the people who are saying variations of the same point :smile:

I'm off to uni this September hopefully, so I haven't experienced this yet, but my friends started university last year, 3 weeks late, so she missed freshers and the start of term. But she still made really good friends with EVERYONE on her corridor / course / societies, and she's got a really good friendship group now and has got her house sorted with them for next year :smile: All I'm trying to say is that everyone puts such an emphasis on the 'crucial first hours', but it's really not like that. It's great to spend time with your flatmates when you arrive, of course, but it's not so crucial that you should push your parents out the door if you don't really want to! Likewise, if you don't seem to get to know your flatmates that well during freshers, don't give up and think that's it - there's plenty of time!


While I commend your flatmate for managing that, I really don't think that's an example to follow. I met my two of my closest friends at halls within a few hours of moving in (complete coincidence) and my entire friendship network at halls built from that. Friendship groups get formed so quickly, you're just on an uphill struggle if you don't talk to people when they're in that stage of "making connections". I'd never say it was impossible, just that it creates unnecessary difficulty.

You'll have plenty of time to spend with your parents in your life, you only have one first day of uni and it's foolish to do anything but milk it for as much social value as possible.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Nightufury
Wow that is the best first day ever i envy you.:angry:


Yeah it was good but not too out of the ordinary, the first day for quite a lot of my friends was similar and for many even BETTER than mine.
You don't have any induction stuff (well you didn't at Nottingham) on the day you turn up... they all start over the week after.

I don't know what your mum would want to set up really, my parents/sister came up with me and they stayed a couple of hours... we had a stroll around campus, did some basic unpacking... then there was no reason for them to stay.
Reply 44
Let your mum help grin and bare it if she is taking over, remember you wouln't see her for say 10 weeks after, so appreciate her while she is there. Let her get her way a bit, just chill and don't argue.
When she has gone, move it all around to how you want it.

Everyones parents helps them unpack a bit and all that.

In terms of my first day of uni...

I got to my halls and some guy showed me round and to my room while my mum parked, then I met up with my mum and we brought everything in (dont worry everyone, especially girls, have tons of stuff) as I was coming in I met a few of my housemates and we said hi, joked how we had so much stuff, commented on how nice the halls were, had the usual small talk where are you from convo but we were all so busy unpacking we didn't have proper conversations until later on.

Once our parents had gone we all went outside with some 2nd year girl, everyone from the hall was there. We talked a bit, but it was a little awkward. We then went to dinner all together and then to the bar in the evening to meet people.
I remember hearing hundreds of names, having the same conversation (name, course, where from, which block) with everyone and remembering absolutely no body...may as well not have been there but all part of it!

We then went back and went to bed feeling very confused and not really knowing if I'd like it, who I really got on with etc.
By the second night and a very drunken bar crawl things were a bit better. But still, freshers is definately very overrated. Its more feeling lost, unsure, desperate to make friends, desperate to settle and not yet feeling comfortable. By christmas I was fully settled, loving it, had friends and felt secure and happy. Just don't expect (even if you are the most confident and outgoing person) to be loving it right away, it varies but most people miss home and feel unsure about it all for a while.
Original post by tigger01
Let your mum help grin and bare it if she is taking over, remember you wouln't see her for say 10 weeks after, so appreciate her while she is there. Let her get her way a bit, just chill and don't argue.
When she has gone, move it all around to how you want it.

Everyones parents helps them unpack a bit and all that.

In terms of my first day of uni...

I got to my halls and some guy showed me round and to my room while my mum parked, then I met up with my mum and we brought everything in (dont worry everyone, especially girls, have tons of stuff) as I was coming in I met a few of my housemates and we said hi, joked how we had so much stuff, commented on how nice the halls were, had the usual small talk where are you from convo but we were all so busy unpacking we didn't have proper conversations until later on.

Once our parents had gone we all went outside with some 2nd year girl, everyone from the hall was there. We talked a bit, but it was a little awkward. We then went to dinner all together and then to the bar in the evening to meet people.
I remember hearing hundreds of names, having the same conversation (name, course, where from, which block) with everyone and remembering absolutely no body...may as well not have been there but all part of it!

We then went back and went to bed feeling very confused and not really knowing if I'd like it, who I really got on with etc.
By the second night and a very drunken bar crawl things were a bit better. But still, freshers is definately very overrated. Its more feeling lost, unsure, desperate to make friends, desperate to settle and not yet feeling comfortable. By christmas I was fully settled, loving it, had friends and felt secure and happy. Just don't expect (even if you are the most confident and outgoing person) to be loving it right away, it varies but most people miss home and feel unsure about it all for a while.


Thanks for your reply :smile:

Yeah I think I will just put up with it but she seems to think it's going to take like 5 hours or something insane to put all my stuff away... Fair enough I've got A LOT of stuff but I'd still be aiming to get it all put away in 2 hours or so.. I've even got a clothes rail on wheels that I'm taking with me though lol because the wardrobe isn't big enough!

I dunno.. I can't imagine myself finding it awkward or uncomfortable at first to be honest. I've just never really felt like that before. Apparently (according to my mum) on my first day of nursery all the other kids were clinging onto their mums legs crying their eyes out and I just ran off asap cos I saw a toy I wanted to check out lol. I'm the kind of person that will somehow get into conversations with random people at bus stops nearly every time I have to get a bus. I like meeting new people I guess! The idea of moving to a place I don't know very well and being surrounded by people I've never met before and not knowing anyone there really excites me.
My first day in uni was like my second one...

-Me-
Reply 47
Original post by littleone271
Thanks for your reply :smile:

Yeah I think I will just put up with it but she seems to think it's going to take like 5 hours or something insane to put all my stuff away... Fair enough I've got A LOT of stuff but I'd still be aiming to get it all put away in 2 hours or so.. I've even got a clothes rail on wheels that I'm taking with me though lol because the wardrobe isn't big enough!

I dunno.. I can't imagine myself finding it awkward or uncomfortable at first to be honest. I've just never really felt like that before. Apparently (according to my mum) on my first day of nursery all the other kids were clinging onto their mums legs crying their eyes out and I just ran off asap cos I saw a toy I wanted to check out lol. I'm the kind of person that will somehow get into conversations with random people at bus stops nearly every time I have to get a bus. I like meeting new people I guess! The idea of moving to a place I don't know very well and being surrounded by people I've never met before and not knowing anyone there really excites me.


not going to lie, i thought that before uni. You have no idea how you will find it until you are there. I started off conversations with people and like meeting new people but still found it strange. I was excited before like you.
Just warning you, don't go in with expectations or being a bit cocky that you'll be a social butterfly and loving it. Tbh, the most confident people with such high expectations often come crashing down because its not how they imagined or as easy.

Don't get me wrong, i love uni now and its been an amazing few months, just also a rollercoaster- it is a much bigger change than you'd expect.

I'm sure you'll be fine, just chill a bit. Stressing 6 months before the moving in day about how long it will take you to unpack (it does take longer than you'd think) and getting annoyed already that your mum and your own ideas clash, isn't going to help!

In terms of moving in day- Just appreciate you're very lucky to be in the opportunity of going to uni, with a supportive mum. You should really at war with your mum when all she is trying to do is help and make sure you're happy...

May seem a bit OTT to drop this in but I guess it is a reality check, one girl in my corridor lost her mum a year before starting uni. Shes so strong it amazes me but since getting to know her better shes admitted how much she wishes her mum was here to do the little things and how moving in day seeing people tearful as their mums left and the proud mums saying goodbye killed her inside, all those people were going to see their mums again in a few weeks but she had had to say goodbye forever a year before. May seem kind of random to tell you this, but I guess its a real reality check and makes me think twice everytime I moan about my mum or miss her at uni.
Original post by tigger01
not going to lie, i thought that before uni. You have no idea how you will find it until you are there. I started off conversations with people and like meeting new people but still found it strange. I was excited before like you.
Just warning you, don't go in with expectations or being a bit cocky that you'll be a social butterfly and loving it. Tbh, the most confident people with such high expectations often come crashing down because its not how they imagined or as easy.

Don't get me wrong, i love uni now and its been an amazing few months, just also a rollercoaster- it is a much bigger change than you'd expect.

I'm sure you'll be fine, just chill a bit. Stressing 6 months before the moving in day about how long it will take you to unpack (it does take longer than you'd think) and getting annoyed already that your mum and your own ideas clash, isn't going to help!

In terms of moving in day- Just appreciate you're very lucky to be in the opportunity of going to uni, with a supportive mum. You should really at war with your mum when all she is trying to do is help and make sure you're happy...

May seem a bit OTT to drop this in but I guess it is a reality check, one girl in my corridor lost her mum a year before starting uni. Shes so strong it amazes me but since getting to know her better shes admitted how much she wishes her mum was here to do the little things and how moving in day seeing people tearful as their mums left and the proud mums saying goodbye killed her inside, all those people were going to see their mums again in a few weeks but she had had to say goodbye forever a year before. May seem kind of random to tell you this, but I guess its a real reality check and makes me think twice everytime I moan about my mum or miss her at uni.


No I appreciate what you're saying and that must have been really horrible for your friend. I don't think I take my mum for granted and I really do appreciate everything she does for me but she can be a bit demonstrative sometimes.

I know I shouldn't really be thinking about moving in day right now but I tend to obsess over things like this because I'm excited and it motivates me to carry on ploughing through my coursework. I'm not going to be cocky and I'm not planning on being like a OTT person being really loud and over friendly. I'm just not really that worried about feeling awkward either.
I think i kicked my mum and auntie out of my room on my first day at Uni.

They helped me bring my stuff to my room, there was a lot of stuff, so it took ages.
And then helped me unpack some things and move things around.
i sat on the bed the whole time, almost crying and scared ****less.
My new flat mates had all moved in by this time, so i was the last one.
I knew i had to socialise with these strangers at some point, so I told my mum to leave so i could take in what was going on, and eventually meet my flat mates.

It took me 3 hours to set up my room myself,
and the next day when I met mum to say goodbye, I cried like a little girl for hours and begged to go home.

I think its good to get your mum/dad to help you, but it can be a little awkward when your the last to move in :smile:
Reply 50
Who takes their parents to uni with them?
If you can't set up your room by yourself you really are not cut out for uni.
Are you a 3 year old? Get some balls and independence (which most normal kids gain at around 16 not 18/20).

Fair enough they take you there and help carry your luggage, but staying overnight? Buying your food? That is weak, and would probably put people off wanting to be friends with you.
Reply 51
Original post by Don John
Being a third year, from experience I can tell you that the sole most important thing you must do in your first year is make a strong group of friends. I didn't, and I regret it sorely. My mate at another uni did, and now he has some good friends, and always has people to turn to in a crisis. I don't.


Anyone that is worried reading this post - don't be, it simply isn't true.

Obviously, it is important to put yourself out there in first year and talk to as many people as you can but making a strong group of friends in first year is not the be all and end all. I am close to finishing second year and I'm still meeting new people around uni regularly and making new friends, that is the beauty of university! My best friend at uni is someone I met at the start of second year and my friendship group from first year has kind of collapsed! (due to not living in halls anymore).

You can make friends at university regardless of how far into your studies you are, as long as you make the effort with people and don't lock yourself in your room after 2 weeks of first year because you haven't made any life long friends...
Yesssssssss.
I'm happy because I've found someone else who's making plans in their head about Uni move-in day already. It's 6 months away... But we're excited, forgive us!
I've literally bought most of my stuff for my bedroom and kitchen already. I could move out happily right now with the stuff I've got - that's how much I've been buying! I figured I should buy things whilst I have spare money because for students that's a rarity.

:')
Reply 53
Original post by littleone271
Hi, I'm planning on going to the University of Bedfordshire in September and I'm wondering what I should expect on my first day.

My Mum, my Dad and possibly my stepdad are going there with me to see me off and help move me in (with one of my Dad's transit vans for all my stuff lol). My Mum keeps going on about how she'll set up everything for me and make it all look nice for me while I get rushed off for induction stuff.

Her friend told her that when she moved her daughters into university she was left to sort out all their stuff for them while they had to go to meetings and things (london met and buckinghamshire private university).

I don't know how to break it to her but I really don't want that to happen... I know it sounds terrible but I just want to do it all myself so I can have it how I want it without my mum going through my things. She says she wants it all to look nice before she leaves me there to give her peace of mind... I'm thinking a compromise could be sending her off for a couple of hours while I do it and then she can see it all nice and done how I want it before she leaves me.

What did you guys do on your first days?


LOL
Reply 54
i think you should just let your mum help u set up everything (in case other students parents are there too! u don't want to be the only one without your parents there!! :O) then when she leaves you can change it the way you like it :biggrin: good luck into whatever u decide... >> :biggrin:
It was good, I took all my stuff up on the train and had to find my own way about. I'd have really appreciated my parents being there to give me a hand so I wouldn't be so hasty in hoping they'll leave! :smile:.

I'd take a doorstop so you're approachable to your flat/hall mates and maybe get some music going to help relax you whilst you're unpacking.

It was possibly THE most hectic week of my life, Freshers. However, if you throw yourself into the full swing of things you should have a blast!
-Arrived
-Did a bit of unpacking
-Went to get some food
-Said bye to my parents
- Unpacked a few more things
-Got to know my flatmates in the kitchen
-Fresher helpers came and we began drinking
- Got took for some food
- Some lecture about responsible drinking
- More pre drinks
- Got took to the union
-


-
- Woke up the next morning in my bed.
Is it going to be very strange that my parents won't be with me on my first day? I'm bringing my stuff to a hotel for a few days first of all to get used to the area then I'll move in alone. I get far too emotional when I have to say goodbye to my mother - even on two week holidays! I'd be a wreck so it's best for me to just go myself.

Is this a strange sight?
Reply 58
Original post by llessur123
Is it going to be very strange that my parents won't be with me on my first day? I'm bringing my stuff to a hotel for a few days first of all to get used to the area then I'll move in alone. I get far too emotional when I have to say goodbye to my mother - even on two week holidays! I'd be a wreck so it's best for me to just go myself.

Is this a strange sight?


On your first day of nursery? Sure that would be strange. University? Lol, Nope.
I thought I didn't want my mum unpacking and setting up all my stuff, then I got there and setting up everything seemed like so much effort, so I just went and chilled/got to know my flatmates while she did all my dirty work aha.

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