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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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Reply 2020
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Relapsing... It's just too easy.
Also, has anyone here been on whyeat.net? Have joined in hopes of getting help to control this relapse but there seems to be a lot of wanna's there.


http://www.whyeat.net/forum/threads/38306-Welcome-to-chapter-One-of-Ednos-Ana-Binge-or-Mia...-The-choice-is-yours...

Thanks for sharing this, I've found the stuff on Orthorexia pretty useful. Even if it's not recognised as an ED itself and more a form of OCD, I do feel it can begin to reap real damage (especially if you begin eliminating entire food groups) and it's a gateway to more destructive disorders. It was very difficult beginning recovery with this approach, even more-so than using it during the restriction phase, and while I'm becoming more lax with the behaviours themselves it's still clear that the compulsions and disordered thoughts are forefront of mind (even if I'm doing almost the opposite to prevent it). It's made me realise that only being prepared to gain weight perfectly healthily without adding any "junk" is like being prepared to recover from AN but only if you won't have to gain weight. It's impossible, it's not fully committing to change for the better, and sometimes you need to be prepared to challenge some of your preconceptions of what's right and what's safe to make it through.
Recovery, as for life in general, is really a case of three steps forward, one step back. Often you think all your work's been for naught when in reality of course that isn't true, we humans just have a tendency to blank out all positives and progress the moment we notice a setback. If you've managed to get yourself off the disordered path and been prepared to walk your Road Less Travelled, you've proven you can make it all the way to the end. Don't give up just yet.
:hugs:
(edited 12 years ago)
in pain when you don't eat, in worse pain when you do. life's a ****ing bitch sometimes.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Relapsing... It's just too easy.
Also, has anyone here been on whyeat.net? Have joined in hopes of getting help to control this relapse but there seems to be a lot of wanna's there.


I've been on it, not a fan at all. Caloriecount.com is good and I'd say somethingfishy seems like the best forum for helping you when you slip. They both challenge you.

Sentiment, I hear you. *hugs*
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by diamonddust
I've been on it, not a fan at all. Caloriecount.com is good and I'd say somethingfishy seems like the best forum for helping you when you slip. They both challenge you.

Sentiment, I hear you. *hugs*


A cuddle would be soo nice today, thank you :smile:
Original post by sentiment
A cuddle would be soo nice today, thank you :smile:


:jumphug: It's nice to have hugs, even if they're only virtual ones. :awesome:
Hopefully in time this will get easier and we'll look back and not believe we were ever in the position we're in now. Or something. Hope everything is going ok. xx
Reply 2025
Does even moderately low blood pressure make you cold (80s-100/50-60s)? Because honestly, it takes about 2 hours for me to notice the heating's on again. Could be still behind on sleep but it's freaking me out : /
Reply 2026
Hello everyone! Riku, I suffer from dangerously low blood pressure caused by my disorder and it makes me feel cold, then hot, then cold periodically.

I also suffer from constant pins and needles, pressure buildup (regional) and occasional faint incidents.

So it's VERY possible you're experiencing your coldness via the blood pressure issues.
Thanks for the help guys but I found out the guy I liked has a gf. I suppose I don't need to worry about telling anyone about my ED now lol
Original post by Riku
http://www.whyeat.net/forum/threads/38306-Welcome-to-chapter-One-of-Ednos-Ana-Binge-or-Mia...-The-choice-is-yours...

Thanks for sharing this, I've found the stuff on Orthorexia pretty useful. Even if it's not recognised as an ED itself and more a form of OCD, I do feel it can begin to reap real damage (especially if you begin eliminating entire food groups) and it's a gateway to more destructive disorders. It was very difficult beginning recovery with this approach, even more-so than using it during the restriction phase, and while I'm becoming more lax with the behaviours themselves it's still clear that the compulsions and disordered thoughts are forefront of mind (even if I'm doing almost the opposite to prevent it). It's made me realise that only being prepared to gain weight perfectly healthily without adding any "junk" is like being prepared to recover from AN but only if you won't have to gain weight. It's impossible, it's not fully committing to change for the better, and sometimes you need to be prepared to challenge some of your preconceptions of what's right and what's safe to make it through.
Recovery, as for life in general, is really a case of three steps forward, one step back. Often you think all your work's been for naught when in reality of course that isn't true, we humans just have a tendency to blank out all positives and progress the moment we notice a setback. If you've managed to get yourself off the disordered path and been prepared to walk your Road Less Travelled, you've proven you can make it all the way to the end. Don't give up just yet.
:hugs:


I agree with the bold x100.
I think that orthorexia is what a lot of people do pre or post ED, because it looks like you're being so healthy that you can trick yourself and others. (Not undermining how serious the condition is at all, by the way.)

Thought for the day: If I hadn't been in recovery for the past two years I wouldn't be at university, wouldn't have such a tight group of friends and certainly wouldn't have the relationship with my family that I have now. Now that I have all of these things even if I relapse a little, I know I can shin my way back up the greased flag pole that is health. I'm feeling optomistic today.
Original post by diamonddust
I've been on it, not a fan at all. Caloriecount.com is good and I'd say somethingfishy seems like the best forum for helping you when you slip. They both challenge you.

Sentiment, I hear you. *hugs*

Thanks for the recs, I know that Caloriecount is very strict on promoting bad dietary practices so it might give me the kick up the **** I need when I'm slipping.
I wanted to ask the same thing about the cold, it's been damn cold in the North here today and I seem to have been feeling it more than other people but I'm nowhere near weighing the lowest that I have in the past. Is it just low body weight that makes you feel cold or can low blood pressure and so on do the same? I'm always getting pins and needles as well which is so annoying when you're trying to sleep as you have to change position constantly.
Original post by sentiment
I wanted to ask the same thing about the cold, it's been damn cold in the North here today and I seem to have been feeling it more than other people but I'm nowhere near weighing the lowest that I have in the past. Is it just low body weight that makes you feel cold or can low blood pressure and so on do the same? I'm always getting pins and needles as well which is so annoying when you're trying to sleep as you have to change position constantly.


not always low body weight. i used to suffer with teh pins and needles quite a bit, not so much now. My feet are freezing today as well.
Gained 5 3/4 lb in a week. It feels rather scary and has now turned into binging and purging.

Spoiler

Original post by Cinamon
Gained 5 3/4 lb in a week. It feels rather scary and has now turned into binging and purging.

Spoiler



I've gone from restricting to thinking "right thats it im eating this and im not going to beat myself up for it" and then as soon as I've eaten a tiny bit I feel awful and purge as much as I can. I never used to even be able to bring myself to do it, but I know how you feel; it makes me feel like a failure when I do it. I'd rather just restrict but I feel as though my will power has gone and I only want to get better before I've eaten; as soon as I have done I feel just as bad as I used to, but it's too late by then
Original post by diamonddust
I've been on it, not a fan at all. Caloriecount.com is good and I'd say somethingfishy seems like the best forum for helping you when you slip. They both challenge you.


I love caloriecount! I don't have an active account but I browse the forums and there are some really strong people on there. :yep: It's the only place concerning ED recovery I really trust (apart from this thread :h:). It's so easy to bump into something pro-ED on the internet - even on unrelated websites. :frown: It breaks my heart.
Nearly passed out in a club last night. So classy. I wasn't even drunk.
Original post by sentiment
Nearly passed out in a club last night. So classy. I wasn't even drunk.


*console* :frown:
Reply 2037
Had a breakthrough with swimming today after a mate reminded me to think of something relaxing. Made it much easier to enjoy dinner:

Spoiler


I do feel really stuffed after dinner to the point it became unenjoyable-suffice to say it was ample. Having come from a family with a "waste not, want not" approach to food and I feel compelled to eat it all regardless of wherever I'm actually still hungry or not or even want it. This is something which often pops up with Mum actually; she'll offer her support but it's almost as if assuming I'm incapable of handling things myself, and if I do ever say "I'm alright with this one, thanks" she gets in a puff, starts calling me ungrateful, to sort my own meals and lifts out in future and so on. I'd go as far as to call these fallouts the major reasons for relapse, and it's silly because she's just blown my refusal out of all proportion or I've said one thing wrong, and it's probably where I've got the dangerous habit of catastrophising and considering the consequence to every triviality from.
I want-need-to learn how to say No to clearing the plate; not so that I can begin restricting, but so that I come to fully understand the feeling of satiety and contentment, and so that I can assert myself and don't feel compelled to bow to others against my will in any situation.

But the swim has helped. I thought of a safe place in memory being out in the park after a long bike ride on a beautiful summer's day, when none of this mattered. Just a thought for a fairly bland autumn evening!
Yesterday I had:

Spoiler



I also skipped for about 5 minutes, I couldn't do any more becuase I was still aching too much from the night before and I was outside in the rain. Then later on I felt bad about that so I did 20 minutes on my twist board
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Riku
Had a breakthrough with swimming today after a mate reminded me to think of something relaxing. Made it much easier to enjoy dinner:

Spoiler


I do feel really stuffed after dinner to the point it became unenjoyable-suffice to say it was ample. Having come from a family with a "waste not, want not" approach to food and I feel compelled to eat it all regardless of wherever I'm actually still hungry or not or even want it. This is something which often pops up with Mum actually; she'll offer her support but it's almost as if assuming I'm incapable of handling things myself, and if I do ever say "I'm alright with this one, thanks" she gets in a puff, starts calling me ungrateful, to sort my own meals and lifts out in future and so on. I'd go as far as to call these fallouts the major reasons for relapse, and it's silly because she's just blown my refusal out of all proportion or I've said one thing wrong, and it's probably where I've got the dangerous habit of catastrophising and considering the consequence to every triviality from.
I want-need-to learn how to say No to clearing the plate; not so that I can begin restricting, but so that I come to fully understand the feeling of satiety and contentment, and so that I can assert myself and don't feel compelled to bow to others against my will in any situation.

But the swim has helped. I thought of a safe place in memory being out in the park after a long bike ride on a beautiful summer's day, when none of this mattered. Just a thought for a fairly bland autumn evening!


I'm exactly the same. My dad has never really understood, and hasn't even been aware that it's been consistently going on since I was 11, he thinks it was a phase and I've grown out of it now. If I don't want dinner he takes it so personally and then rants on and on about how he's been slaving away over a hot stove etc etc etc. even if I've specifically told him I don't want him to cook for me

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