What have I done? Sleeping with ex

So we are both 18 and we were still great friends after breaking up a few weeks ago.

Before we broke up we booked this day out to London and so we thought oh it'd be a shame to waste it and we are still both friendly so we kinda just went along with it and met up and went.

Cut a long story short we both got on really well and had a great day and ended up kissing and then one thing led to another and we slept together.

I feel so dirty and bad, not that either of us has moved on or done anytihng since (we are both pretty reserved people) but I don't know, I feel wrong or something for sleeping with her. I am literally out of luck with my friends (who for whatever reason just seem to have abandoned me recently ) and then my ex was my kinda only other option in what at the minute, for me, is a crap life. I kinda felt sorry for myself and I know I shouldn't have done that, but I have now and it just feels so wrong.

Should I or am I just being silly?

Reply 1

kat91s

I ended up sleeping with my ex after my last break-up. It happened twice, and each time I felt like it was a huge mistake afterwards!

If you have no intention of getting back together, then it's not a good idea. It just messes with your feelings and makes it more difficult to move on. Don't beat yourself up over it, but take care not let anyone get hurt.

Reply 2

The_Jammy_Witch

Until you said 'she', I assumed YOU were the girl.

Um, you got sex. What are you complaining about? Stop feeling guilty to exist and enjoy.

Reply 3

username447608

I think alot of people have stupidly ended back up with an ex when they arnt over them, you need to realise you are over having sex only makes you feel stronger about them it doesnt do anything for getting over anybody

Reply 4

Georgiahoneybee

Neither of you are seeing other people, you still get on well and presuming you're still not pining over her/hoping to get back together, then I don't see why you've got much to feel bad about.

Reply 5

Chumbaniya

I've done the same thing (for a protracted period, in fact) and it's not bad, it's just a bit stupid and makes things more difficult and confusing. Is some more sex worth putting yourselves through that? It depends. In my case it really wasn't.

Did you sleep well?

hey hey men, do not worry,
here in russia we always do this, sometimes it is bad as they catch disease but most time, no problem my friend.

Reply 8

Souriretoujours

Ah. Never a good idea. In my experience sleeping with an ex just strengthens feelings and makes it wayyyyyy harder to move on.

Reply 9

Tedaus

Original post by The_Jammy_Witch

Until you said 'she', I assumed YOU were the girl.

Um, you got sex. What are you complaining about? Stop feeling guilty to exist and enjoy.

Yeah because guys feel absolutely no emotion towards sex and think of it as a conquest that should be completed no matter what the circumstance. Whereas girls are only there for the guy to chase. You sound like a ****.

Reply 10

Lucia.

Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happened. It's about getting to know what your limitations are.

Reply 11

The_Jammy_Witch

Original post by Tedaus

And you sound like someone who recontextalises other people's posts to cater to your own issues. Good luck! :cool:

Reply 12

amyshamblesxx

It happens to the best of us, don't let it happen again as it can make things very difficult in terms of moving on.

Reply 13

Tedaus

Original post by The_Jammy_Witch

And you sound like someone who recontextalises other people's posts to cater to your own issues. Good luck! :cool:

You assumed it was a girl then when you found out it was a guy you said "Um, you got sex. What are you complaining about?" as though guys should be thrilled whenever they get to have sex no matter what the circumstance, whereas a girl would worry about the emotional side of it. Clearly the OP disproves that.

Reply 14

The_Jammy_Witch

Original post by Tedaus

Against my heternormative views (which, by the way, I'm entitled to share with the OP as much as you are yours), yes he does. I bet he listens to Westlife too. :P

Couldn't see much of a 'dilemma' in anything that he wrote, and still don't. They get on well etc, they had sex. What seems to be the problem? Yes, I would, all else being equal, assume that a girl would be more likely to arbitrarily create an emotional 'issue' out of not much. This isn't so much me being somehow sexist as it is me accepting that boys and girls process sex differently.

You saw what you wanted to see of my post, and stretched the implications too far. OP oughta stop feeling guilty for nothing, accept that if the girl didn't want it she wouldn't've let it happen, and just get on with it. There are worse things for cryin' out loud. Next you'll be having a period in the name of gender equality.

I'm not coming back on this thread to justify myself to you again, young whipper snapper bobby boy ladling johnny joe.

EDIT: Oh, alright, I see your point and how you constred it that way. But it's not how I meant it and would write it differently now. THERE I SAID IT :biggrin: