Virgins - Girls vs. Guys

Inspired by the many, many threads we get here daily that are more or less "I'm 53 and still a virgin, am I normal" etc. and their responses, it just got me thinking.

Do you think it's more acceptable for a guy or a girl to be a virgin after a certain age? I'm hesitant to put an exact number, because I'll have plenty of people taking offence/ arguing about it, so let's just put it in the twenties or older, thereabouts. Let's face it, the majority of young people today are having sex earlier and earlier, and those who decide not to/ don't for whatever reason tend to be received negatively by those who do, sadly.

But who do you think has it the worst when it comes to being judged for being a virgin? Girls, perhaps, because "they could have sex with any guy"? Or are they viewed more positively than guys for choosing not to? Are guys seen as lame or bad with women?

I'm not asking for answers like "it doesn't matter to me!" here, because as awesome and open-minded as you are, I'm looking for your theories on who has it worse in society as a whole.

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Reply 1

joey11223

I'd say guys as it's expected of them to chase and get girls. Although not appealing to everyone a girl who is a virgin in the age group you mention may be portrayed as innocent, innocence is attractive to some. Where as with a male it is inexperience, which is not attractive.

^ there you go.

Original post by joey11223

This!

Although at the same time I would say if a man was a virgin he'd get less "abuse" or derogatory comments from women who may prefer a virgin than men.

Reply 4

jumpingjesusholycow

I really really couldn't care less whether someone is a virgin or not, regardless of gender.

Reply 5

effofex

Original post by IlexBlue

Are you sure about the statement in bold? Or is it more likely that people had sex earlier 200 years ago than they do today?

With regards to the status of virgins, I'm a male virgin and am 21 years old, and have never been mocked by other men of around the same age and the only instance where I was ridiculed was by women who were in their mid 20s. So maybe each gender judges differently to a certain extent.

Reply 6

joey11223

Original post by jumpingjesusholycow

I really really couldn't care less whether someone is a virgin or not, regardless of gender.

aww but that is so not the point of this thread. Flip a coin if you can't think about reasons why society might judge one sex more harshly, heads for girls tails for guys.

Reply 7

Xhotas

Depends on the group and the person. Some groups will mock someone for being a virgin, some guys take pride in being a virgin. It doesn't matter what sex you are, different groups will respond differently. People say it's harder for men being virgins, but some women do get the same pressures as men, but it's just not seen as much really. My girlfriends friends (girly girls and a few gays) target the virgin of the group and mock just like a man would.

Sure, men being the "alpha male" ideal some would say they are "expected" to sleep with loads of women, but I tell my virgin mates to be proud of the fact they are and not to be bothered by being called a virgin. Take it as a choice, if you're desperate to lose it then your problem. Don't make it a problem, not a problem. Obviously it's not always a choice as to whether it's a problem or not (can't control them their hormones) but if a male is "proud" of the fact he's a virgin it doesn't look that unattractive. Infact talking to a few women, some would find it as a turn on (Self confidence to admit it, still be dominate etc.) but not for the fact they are virgins, but the fact they're not put off by it and considered weaker.

Reply 8

Drumzilla

i don't think anyone looks favourably down on people specifically for being virgins, it'd be nice to know you were a girls first or something but no one really cares.

I just hate it if im talking to someone about sex and they'll say "oh i'm a virgin because im waiting for someone special, i wont just lose it" and it almost feels like they're acting so high and mighty, or they'll say "im waiting for someone special" and ill just want to scream its because no one wants you. Harsh, yes but it genuinely gets on my tits when people think they are better than they are.

it's not the virginity that shapes peoples views its the attitude behind it.

that being said i think as a guy you're encouraged to lose it earlier, whereas girls are 'allowed' to keep it longer. While no one is a dick to a guy who is a virgin if they are friends, there is still the urge and the encouragement from their friends to lose it, whereas girls i don't think are given that sort of encouragement

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 9

IlexBlue

Original post by effofex

I reaaally didn't want to include that statement because I knew people would pick up on it, hence why I tried to keep as bland as possible. :tongue:

If you're being picky, more people are having sex at a younger age - and it is now expected as the standard/ average to boot - than, shall we say, the previous generation?

Reply 10

HumanNature1992

Original post by effofex

May I ask how this came about?

Reply 11

Fyodor Bingoffsky

Virginity is still prized in girls. the other day I heard someone mention "used goods". On the other hand there's the honour dudes have to keep up.

Reply 12

effofex

Original post by IlexBlue

I reaaally didn't want to include that statement because I knew people would pick up on it, hence why I tried to keep as bland as possible. :tongue:

If you're being picky, more people are having sex at a younger age - and it is now expected as the standard/ average to boot - than, shall we say, the previous generation?

Do you have figures to prove this? Because alot seems to be media sensationalism. Maybe adolescents have sex earlier these days than the previous generation, but if you go back a few more generations then I think today's children are probably quite late on the scene. It would be very common for a substantial number of boys and girls of around 13 to have had sexual intercourse in many inner cities of Victorian England.

Reply 13

mau5

A girl can go out and get sex anytime she wants really easily, it's generally not through choice why guys are virgins.

Reply 14

Fyodor Bingoffsky

Yeah but in Victorian times if you were middle class and had money the females were virgins until marriage which wasn't at 16 hence lengthening age of virginity loss.

Reply 15

IlexBlue

Original post by effofex

No, no figures... I guess I just thought it was pretty much accepted to be true by everyone. Ah, TSR...

I don't agree with that though, if we're heading back a few more generations we're stepping into the Victorian era, and that definitely isn't right.
If we're talking about the Elizabethan era, then yeah, but I was sort of focusing on more modern times, haha.

Reply 16

effofex

Original post by HumanNature1992

May I ask how this came about?

We were discussing virginity/lack of it etc. amongst a select group of friends about a year ago after work and it was mentioned to some women who were drinking in the same bar and they found it amusing and giggled alot. None of the men were particularly fussed at all (that includes ones my age and older ones).

Reply 17

Casshern1456

I think there's the same implications for both genders when they reach a certain age and still virgins. There's no it's worst to be a guy/girl when you are 35 and not had sex.

Then there comes social implications where you start to care how people view you. And if you don't have a good enough reason guys get made fun off and being called a loser and well a girl is better off in this sence.