The Student Room Group

Is it ever justifiable for parents to disown their own offspring?

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Original post by burning-ape
D'you think it'd make a good play? I'm no playwrite but I'll give it a go :tongue:


You should definitely give it a go, haha. I'll come watch it when it's on the West End :wink:
Original post by Ayshizzle
That's true. A lot of Asians seem to think their children are their slaves too. Meh.


A lot of Africans are like that too, but I don't conform to all that nonsense.
Original post by S-man10
In an ethical sense, never :no:


Why never? Who are you to say that?
Original post by Ayshizzle
My family are Muslim (ish) and I've left the religion and am guessing they won't be that pleased. They might not disown me, I might be blowing it all up into more than it needs to be but atm I'm pretty sure that's the most likely outcome lol.



That's true. A lot of Asians seem to think their children are their slaves too. Meh.


Who the **** are you to say their culture is bad? morality is relative, get with it you ****ing dunce.
Original post by Ayshizzle
My family are Muslim (ish) and I've left the religion and am guessing they won't be that pleased. They might not disown me, I might be blowing it all up into more than it needs to be but atm I'm pretty sure that's the most likely outcome lol.



That's true. A lot of Asians seem to think their children are their slaves too. Meh.


If you're an adult, they have every right to disown you.
Original post by Brutal Honesty
After your parents disown you what will you do, hang around with white people all day? I know some Indian people who've been disowned and they're banned from ever speaking to any member of their family ever again, this includes attending weddings of second/third cousins or whatever. It's quite sad actually cos now all they have is white people to hang around with and as we know inter-racial/inter-cultural relationships don't work out and then they end up alone (possibly single as a single mum). Their white friends end up moving on with their lives so they end up alone whilst the rest of their family is playing happy families and meeting each other and having their kids play together and calling each other 'auntie' and 'uncle' and celebrating Diwali/Birthdays/Weddings/Baby Showers together whilst the outcast son/daughter (usually daughter) is alone in a flat somewhere on the other side of town. Occasionally they might bump into one another two decades later but the outcast daughter will be ignored for something she did in her youth. If she had the chance, she'd go back and never do it but it's far too late and out of honour her family will never accept her back.


You got negged for this but the gist of it is true! Replace white with any 'outsider' and that's exactly what happens. You can't replace your family. It's the main reason most of us don't pick up and move abroad!
Original post by silent ninja
If you're an adult, they have every right to disown you.


How would you feel if your own parents disowned you?
Original post by ilovedesifems
Who the **** are you to say their culture is bad? morality is relative, get with it you ****ing dunce.


Did I say it was bad?

Original post by silent ninja
If you're an adult, they have every right to disown you.


Of course they have the right, it doesn't make it the correct thing to do.
Original post by Dee Leigh
How would you feel if your own parents disowned you?


Feelings are irrelevant. If you're adults it's their right even if it upsets you. How will you stop them?
Original post by Ayshizzle

Of course they have the right, it doesn't make it the correct thing to do.


Why not? If they dislike you why should they continue having a close relationship with you, if one at all? They shouldn't abuse/harrass you or try and sabotage your life but they are perfectly entitled to not speak to you anymore if you have completely different values to them.
Original post by Brutal Honesty
Why not? If they dislike you why should they continue having a close relationship with you, if one at all? They shouldn't abuse/harrass you or try and sabotage your life but they are perfectly entitled to not speak to you anymore if you have completely different values to them.


But I don't though. That's my point, if you read my earlier post.
Not at the stage where the child is unable to look after themselves and is still dependent on their parents.
But after this: If a son/daughter refuses to act like a son/daughter, then why should a parent be forced to continue to act like a parent? It's not a one-way relationship - both parties have their responsibilities.
Original post by Ayshizzle
But I don't though. That's my point, if you read my earlier post.


Yes you do. If your parents are religious brown Malays who speak Malay as a first language and you're hanging around with white atheists all day and speaking nothing but English you're worlds apart from your parents. I'm probably closer to your parents in terms of values than you are.
Original post by Brutal Honesty
Yes you do. If your parents are religious brown Malays who speak Malay as a first language and you're hanging around with white atheists all day and speaking nothing but English you're worlds apart from your parents. I'm probably closer to your parents in terms of values than you are.


Lol. You have no idea about my family so you can't really make judgements like that can you?
Reply 74
I think it's a little close minded to say that it's never justifiable to disown your own child. Whilst I don't think I'd ever be able to do it myself, there might be good reasons for someone to do it. But in my view it would need to be a bloody good reason; for example if your child attempted to kill you or something, or they did indeed kill a member of the family etc.
Original post by Ayshizzle
Lol. You have no idea about my family so you can't really make judgements like that can you?


I'm clearly making semi-informed speculative remarks.
Original post by Brutal Honesty
I'm clearly making semi-informed speculative remarks.


Speculative, yes. Informed, nope. Anyways, this is derailing the thread so I see no reason to continue the conversation.
Original post by silent ninja
Feelings are irrelevant. If you're adults it's their right even if it upsets you. How will you stop them?


You can't stop people from having different values in life but what is the point of bringing a child into the world if you can't accept them for who they are just because they are different from you? They will always be your child, and you should love them unconditionally.

I think it would be okay for a child/parent to disown their parent/child if they displayed signs of toxic behavior (i.e. abuse). But because the person has different views (e.g. Conservative instead of Labour? Athiest instead of Muslim?) then no, I don't think that's ever right to be honest.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Dee Leigh
You can't stop people from having different values in life but what is the point of bringing a child into the world if you can't accept them for who they are just because they are different from you? They will always be your child, and you should love them unconditionally.

I think it would be okay for a child/parent to disown their parent/child if they displayed signs of toxic behavior (i.e. abuse). But because the person has different views (e.g. Conservative instead of Labour? Athiest instead of Muslim?) I don't think that's ever right to be honest.


Why not?
Yes.

A parent could do everything right and their child still turn out wrong. You have an obligation to raise your child to an adult. What they do then becomes their responsibility. After a certain point, if you've done your job properly, then it could become acceptable.

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