where to go for first date? tell me ur dream-first-date!!

hi i am 18 year old guy in my first year in uni. i have kind of never been in a relationship before, never really feel like i need to but i recently find a girl which i quite like her, but anyway, i am thinking of asking her out but i am not entirely sure what i should say and do.

i got her number ages ago and we are friends anyway, and i know she got a crush on me. but i dont really know her that well, but she is quite cute and interesting. but people do say first date is very important, so i want to make sure this goes well. anyway where do ppl go for their first dates? a casual lunch or a coffee in a cafe? or a film in a theatre? or just keep it simple and meet up in ie my flat

it is definitely not that i m not comfortable with girls, but i have never really just go and do something with only one girl, unless we are extreme good friends or i m a bit drunk...

so any suggestions? theatre? cafe? or lunch?

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Reply 1

amime

Not a cinema. Never the cinema. You'll be constantly thinking...."do I put my arm around her?"... "Hold her hand?"... "Do I talk to her? (while the movies playing)"

I never seem to learn from my mistakes leading me to countless awkward cinema moments. I don't know why the words 'How about the cinema' splurt out of my mouth as soon as a girl asks "where to go?". It's like a disease.

OP and further readers of this thread, we are no longer focused on OP's problem. This thread is now dedicated to sorting out my problem.

Thank you.

Reply 2

ScottishShortiex

I don't really have any experience of first dates/proper relationships either but I'd be happy going out to a restaurant for dinner (doesn't need to be somewhere fancy and really expensive). However I know a lot of people who just meet up for a drink in a pub/bar because its quite casual for a firsf date. If you both drink then why not ask her if she fancies meeting up forna drink. :smile:

I'd also avoid the cinema because you don't get the chance to talk much if you're watching the film.

I'm sure you'll be fine, just be yourself! :smile:

10 Downing Street.

Original post by amime

This made me laugh! :lol:

Think before you speak! :wink:

There's plenty other suggestions...dinner, pub for drinks, picnic, bowling, etc.

Whatever you do, don't say "CINEMA!" Or to avoid having to say anything, ask her what she'd likento do. :p:

Reply 5

SirMasterKey

Coffee shop or pub?

Never the cinema. It'd be too awkward as said above.

Reply 6

arbaaz

Original post by amime

Really? I'm surprised! I would have thought that the cinema is the best place to go for a first date and then you could go for a bite to eat after. The reason being is because on first dates there is generally loads of awkward moments like akward silences but if you watch a movie then then go for a bite to eat then you can talk about the movie while you eat so you have something to say during those silences. I always thought the cinema was a win win situation. Plus while you are in the cinema you can think of stuff to say after rather than sitting in a cafe and having nothing to say or running out of something to say.
But yeah you always have to go for a bite out to eat afterwards otherwise it would be kinda pointless seeing as you wouldn't be able to talk and get to know each other.

With regards to what to do when the movie is on, I'd advise from putting your arm around a girl if it's your first date. If it's your first date then you barely know the girl, and she doesn't know you and so it feels a bit like your invading personal space. The only exception to this is if you have been close friends for a while prior to dating. Same applies for holding the hand. In most cases in a cinema it would look weird unless your close or you have been dating for ages. When the movie is playing don't talk to her, it's annoying and a pet peeve of mine. I mean why bother going to the cinema if you can't watch the film without being distracted. Talk in the interval all you want but yeah never during the movie. Only exception is if you are choking on popcorn and need CPR :tongue:

Reply 7

arbaaz

For a first date, I'd actually suggest the cinema ... you can watch a nice movie.. avoid scary or romantic ones, comedy films are perfect for first dates then go for a bite to eat after and if there are any akward silences then talk about the movie, which is where going to the cinema comes in handy!

However in my perfect date, we'd for a long walk, then have a picnic!

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 8

pol pot noodles

The last time I asked someone out for the first time, she agreed on the condition that I take her out to somewhere expensive, so I took her to a petrol station.

Reply 9

shorty.loves.angels

Personal opinions:

Cinema means you can't get to know each other and it makes it difficult to know what to do. So I'd wait until you're more familiar with each other and both actually want to go see a particular film.

Going out for dinner is very scheduled... what to do when you've finished eating? how many courses? talk while eating? And if the date isn't going well, you can't make excuses and leave before you've finished eating and paid. So for me, I'd rather do this on a subsequent date, once I know I like the guy enough to get through a meal :smile:

So for me, just going for a drink/ coffee/ walk (if you both like the same setting) so that you can get to know each other and have no time constraints or decisions to make.

Reply 10

arbaaz

Original post by pol pot noodles

The last time I asked someone out for the first time, she agreed on the condition that I take her out to somewhere expensive, so I took her to a petrol station.

hahaa! are you for real?!

Reply 11

facetious

Original post by amime

'How about the cinema' splurt out of my mouth as soon as a girl asks "where to go?"

Stop this. Sorted.

OP, you could do something casual, like coffee/a relaxed dinner somewhere, where you can talk comfortably. And then maybe a walk or something afterwards.

Reply 12

Nut.

Original post by Anonymous

I like it when guys ask me if I'd like to go for a coffee.

If you go for a meal straight out there might be awkwardness with who expects who to pay for what, and if you aren't fully comfortable with girls you might find some awkward stretches of silence as you wait for food to be delivered to the table etc.

A coffee is informal, you can offer to pay for both cos it'll only be a fiver in total rather than £20-35, and if it doesn't go brilliantly, you can part company after a coffee or two, and if it does go well, you can go for a walk together after or something, so it gives you more options.

Reply 13

sarahoo

do NOT go to the cinema, you can't talk, get to know each other better, ti's a complete waste of money. A first date should be at a cool restaurant, not expensive--it should be casual. If it's to a kind of food you're both kind of new to (as long as either of you aren't picky, which is a turn off!), that's fun because it's a new experience for both of you and gives you conversation breakers. Just chat over the table/food, have a coffee afterward, and go on your way. That's seriously the best kind of first date.

I always usually split the tab on first dates, but if the girl looks awkward about it, maybe pay?

Reply 14

kiss_me_now9

Coffee is a good plan, if you're close already dinner is a nice 'definite' first date but again can be expensive and awkward if you don't know her that well.

Worst first date I ever had was echoed on here, cinema - he spent the entire time whispering in my ear about how hot Cameron Diaz was and the time in the pub after boring me with a definition of tort law :lolwut:

Second worst was when he invited me over to his and cooked for me... peppered grilling steak... I don't like peppery things and whilst I love steak it was the wrong kind for frying and ended up really tough (doubly so as he didn't eat anything less than well done :/ should've got out of there when he said that tbh). He also plonked it on the plate with a few lettuce leaves and went 'hey, girls love salad right?' :erm:

Reply 15

The Entity

Original post by pol pot noodles

The last time I asked someone out for the first time, she agreed on the condition that I take her out to somewhere expensive, so I took her to a petrol station.