The Student Room Group

What's it like growing up rich?

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Original post by Vian
My family is considered by many of my friends to be rich. Doesn't mean anything for me. I went to an awful school, don't have any of the latest tech and will likely get a dodgy second hand car. Just because my parents are rich doesn't mean I am.

What I'm trying to say is that with rich families you get all types, people who live a life of luxury to people who get next to nothing. I'm fortunate enough to be somewhere in the middle!


Just be grateful that you're even getting a car.
Original post by Fires
I've known quite a few rich kids, through working as a concierge/butler for a super-posh hotel chain. I've spent time with them, had extended conversations over days and got to know some moderately well.

My general opinion is that it isn't quite "as cool as everyone assumes" in many cases. The reasons vary, but I would say quite a few families with money, ranging from wealthy to very wealthy, are fairly screwed up. I don't know why that happens exactly, but it does seem to follow. One of the issues is that wealthy parents are often hyper-driven success types. (less so with the Old Money families, but still there to some extent.) So they have often had much less time for their children growing up than other families sometimes do. I am always surprised how emotionally deprived many wealthy kids are. I think it almost goes with the turf. There's a real need for attention and love.

The classic story is that rich families substitute material well-being for affection and I think that is often true.

Do they know what life is like for the rest of us? On the whole, I would have to say not. Most children like that have existed in a bubble of privilege; they meet only other kids like themselves at elite private schools; they don't meet poorer people much. Even in private schools that have bursary students, they are often from middle-class homes. Exposure to the lives of the toiling masses is pretty much a no-no. Many wealthy parents and grandparents want it that way, they are fearful of the contact.


What do you mean by that exactly? Care to elaborate?
Talked to some rich girls my age, they have nice clothes, designer labels, that kind of thing, nice bag, a horse or horses, usually they live in big houses and go to nice private school. Some have really large allowances and they go to nice hair salons and get lots of money spent on them for things like beauty treatments and products or visits to spas. Their families have great cars like Range Rovers or even posher than that and they often get driven all the time. They dont do simple holidays, they go on amazing holidays with their friends, they even fly first class! They have posh accents, nice skin and hair and they say they aren't posh at all or spoiled. They talk really well, they are well educated and they write really well and interesting.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 23
I agree that many who are brought up with wealthy backgrounds can be a little insufferable, but this isn't always the case.

One of my friends is very rich - her mum works in investment banking and her dad owns a marina. They have about 5 properties, including a converted hospital with 10 acres of land around it and a villa on the French riviera. However honestly she is one of the most honest people you will ever meet - she never wears expensive jewelery, only shops in places like H&M, and always offers to help us out if we're a few pounds short on train fares. She has 2 part time jobs and earns all her own money, and if she is given any she always spends on on a birthday party where she invites out whole year to enjoy. She even donates part of her monthly salary to save the children! You don't find rich kids like her often, but I think the way she lives her life and her generosity is very heartwarming :smile:
Reply 24
Original post by Iron Lady
How are we defining "rich"?


Well to me it means not having to think much about money at all and being well above average but not just coming from a suburb and having your own bedroom and a car, more like the sort of kids who live in the country, who have really posh cars, go to very good schools, don't mix much with kids like us. Really well-dressed and lots of lovely experiences and luxuries, everything available to them, everything done for them.
Reply 25
Original post by _becca
This made me laugh so much ahahaha, oh my lord! Thank you for sharing that, genuinely made my evening


hehehe np. i was pretty surprised when i walked in and the common room was covered in little choccy frogs lol
Reply 26
My family is considered to be rich because we live in a big house and have 4 cars even though there are only 2 drivers and two holiday homes. But I personally have no spare cash available so my friends are confused when I can't go out because I have no money, as most of my familly's money is tied up in mortgages. My parents to give me any loads of money like most people think they would, I buy my clothes at Tesco and work in cafe to make money for myself.
I don't know if I would be classed as "rich" (as I don't know how we're defining it) or upper middle class, but I certainly grew up with money and still live with it now. Although it would have been feasible financially, both me and my brother went to state schools. The difference in our upbringing that was directly linked to my parent's wealth was - and still is - the experiences we're able to have. I've travelled extensively (I'm 16 now), been exposed to good food, fantastic theatre etc. So, those are all things I've been lucky enough to have due to my family's money.

However, no one in my nuclear family is bigoted, rude or ignorant. I know plenty of people who don't have the kind of money we do and yet are racist, sexist, homophobic ****ers. My friend felt more comfortable coming out to MY parents before his own. There's this view that "rich kids" (although I hate that term) think that others are inferior in some way. We don't! Although my parents grew up middle-class, they both worked and still work incredibly hard for our money. Often it's 12-16 hours a day and I've had nannies since I was 4 months old. (I don't want anyone to think I'm unloved, though. My parents love me and never fail to show me that. I've certainly not been neglected. I'm merely saying that they do and did work for the money and considering it's now at their disposal they're going to use it).

Look, my family are GOOD PEOPLE. We care about others. We help others. My parents pay their taxes and donate to various charities, as well as supporting me and my brother. My mum's company gives jobs to 300 people. People are always saying "I hope you know how lucky you are" and "You should be grateful for all you have." I am grateful and I know I'm lucky... What better way is there for me to show that than making good use of life and my opportunities and succeeding as best I can? Would it be better if I wasted my money? Do you want people to not use their money?

What do you want from us?
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 28
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?

Thats why i'll NEVER consider Oxbridge!
Reply 29
Original post by HariboMunch
Well to me it means not having to think much about money at all and being well above average but not just coming from a suburb and having your own bedroom and a car


Try living in Kensington suburbs, you might change your opinion.

more like the sort of kids who live in the country


I know many kids who live in the country, sons and daughters of farmers and the like. They aren't all rich.

who have really posh cars


People who give their kids a BMW are not rich, they are ****ing morons.

go to very good schools


Scholarships

don't mix much with kids like us


'Kids like us' - They are kids, exactly like you. You are both one and the same. The only people they won't hang out with are people who either overtly covet their wealth/aspects of wealth or bully them for it (Chavs etc). They get on with everybody else just fine, and it is kind of insulting that you think that they view the worth of somebody else as the sum of their parents bank balance.

Really well-dressed


If you mean designer clothes then I see them all the time, and not just from rich people. Its the preserve of every middle-class teen in the country.

and lots of lovely experiences and luxuries


Experiences are not necessarily solely linked to money. You can have great experiences pretty much anywhere with anybody for no money at all.

everything available to them


Everything isn't available to them lol. Some stuff is, but not everything.

everything done for them.


Again, no. You can't pay a teacher to pass an exam for you, you can't pay to win a national event in sport, you can't pay to make real friends, you can't pay to succeed off your own merit. Something which many of these kids do. Many of them also work jobs like everybody else.


Most of what you have said is untrue or generalised.

So many mad people negging lol.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 30
don't have many rich friends, we are all as poor as each other!

although i've had one friend who i met when i first moved to college last year and i only ended up actually going to his house for the first time the other day and OH MY he is absolutely minted his house was amazing!! he's kept it quiet though, i always knew he must be quite 'comfortable' (or whatever the hell people mean when they say that) but was a bit of a shock to see how rich his family really was.

the only thing i'd envy is the fact that i have to work 2 crappy weekend jobs night and day to get by and to save to do the stuff (like summer holidays, leeds fest at the end of the summer etc) that i know some people just get given to them. ah well, such is life i suppose!
Reply 31
I'm not from a rich family but if I do become rich, I think I'll want my kids to have a normal life, I definately don't want them to be spoilt.

My parents gave me very little and it made me more determined to work hard and try make something of myself, I think being rich takes away a bit of that incentive.
Original post by POWCATTY
Later in the evening he then bought £60 worth of freddo frogs....
.


400 frogs? ****ing hell, what did he do with them? Surely not eat them all!
Reply 33
Original post by Ocassus
Try living in Kensington suburbs, you might change your opinion.

Most of what you have said is untrue or generalised.


We are all using variable meanings anyway, one person's "rich" is another person's "middle class" - I don't think obsessive dissecting OPs precise semantic definition of the word is particularly helpful to the discussion. Obviously the discussion is about typical English average assumptions of what "wealthy" as opposed to "not wealthy" means.
Reply 34
Original post by UCLEmily
We are all using variable meanings anyway, one person's "rich" is another person's "middle class" - I don't think obsessive dissecting OPs precise semantic definition of the word is particularly helpful to the discussion. Obviously the discussion is about typical English average assumptions of what "wealthy" as opposed to "not wealthy" means.


The entire discussion topic is not very 'helpful' as it all tends to revolve around either jealousy, snobbery or stigma anyway.
Reply 35
I love threads like this on TSR where everyone pretends they're not posh boys and girls. Its like the ultimate façade.
Reply 36
Original post by WNB

Thats why i'll NEVER consider Oxbridge!


Actually, having lived in Oxford all my life, applied to it and knowing a lot of students there, I can tell you that it is absolutely not elitist in terms of background, only academia. The Oxbridge system is not the one skewed to public school kids - it is the lack of state school knowledge/caring about Oxbridge which means that public schools so often get more in. At interview I was only worse off from the Harrow kids because my school didn't prepare me AT ALL, not because Oxford preferred public schoolkids.

They just want the brightest and most subject-passionate, they don't care about where you come from.
Reply 37
Original post by HariboMunch
Some kids on TSR sound really wealthy, not like poor me!

Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?

Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?


My family are quite wealthy, we have a large house in inner London, attend good private schools, I will have income from a trustfund when I'm older and at college, not huge, but it will spare me from being short of money. I do get a lot of nice things and have had wonderful travel opportunities and what I'm certain is a privileged lifestyle, similar to at least some people I know at school, and there are kids there with both less and more than me.

My parents are talented, successful and care for myself and my siblings really well, we aren't short of either affection or funds to support our interests and activities. I suppose it is pretty marvellous for me although I'm used to it. I don't think we're so spoilt and out of touch that we have no clue how other people live, after all, we watch TV, see people out and about, etc. I take the tube and was in London during the riots and saw how angry some people are. We aren't stupid. On the other hand, I don't feel like I'm a bad person for having well-off parents, it's just our situation. I know I'm fortunate. I'm spoiled in some ways, I have quite a few nice clothes and gifts and I get pampered quite a lot. I love it really.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 38
My parents being middle class gave me a nice upbringing, always giving what I needed, what I wanted I had to work for, unless it was for school I.e. revision guides, tutors and courses.

They always tried to support me, but leisure activities such as festivals I had to fund
Reply 39
I think it's silly to stereotype rich people as with poor people. People are different in many ways and wealth is just one of them. Other factors will affect a child's upbringing far more than wealth.

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