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Is my boyfriend heartless

Is my boyfriend heartless and selfish or is it just me?

Sometimes he doesn't talk to me like a boyfriend he talks to me like he prob would to any other girl out there.

I go through depression and for example I felt particularly bad because of something and text him he just text back saying well stop doing that thing then. Like no hey bbe I love you , you should stop doing it if it makes you unhappy etc. Didn't even tell me why he text me back 4 hours after that text to him.

Sometimes we both have nothing to do the next day but he won't still bother to stay awake with me from his own choice just to catch up or bcos he missed me.

He's so weird like that, he's never been truly interested in me as a person tbh...never text or said hey what's your fav thing to do? Or just never takes an interest in what I do. He pretends to sometimes but you knoww when someones not really interested.

I have always been with him :frown:

I don't get him , he tells me he loves me and he prays for me to get better and that he's cried for me. He never acts on what he says tho.
(edited 11 years ago)
Hang on..you think he's "so weird" and heartless and selfish because he doesn't text back instantly?

Maybe he does care about you - just because he doesn't shower you with sentimental texts about how much he loves you, that doesn't mean he's selfish and heartless. I think that's a bit cruel of you to say, especially as you've "always" been with him.

And what if he really does love and pray for you, but he just doesn't want you to see it? Just because you can't see him praying and crying for you, that doesn't instantly mean he's not doing it.

Besides that, I think what you really need to do is talk to him about this, instead of venting it out on here.
He sounds blunt and to the point but do you think maybe you're a bit clingy and needy?
people are different

and people with depression and irrational thoughts are difficult and frustrating sometimes, I had an eating disorder and my BF often just says very blunt things to me if I'm being crazy, but he cares about me a lot, he's been there for me and supported me a lot but you have to accept that it's hard for them too, I got sick a few months ago and nearly relapsed and after a week without eating more than bread and jelly he turned around and told me I was eating dinner or going home (I'd been staying at his house while he looked after me and was too weak to travel back easily), no compassion just a straight up choice, but I didn't sulk about it because it's very hard to cope with someone with mental health problems, they want you to be happy and not being able to make you happy hurts

and as for staying up late, I don't do that, definitely not regularly, I like my sleep and I get my sleep, if my BF wants to talk to me we both need to be around early enough in the evening to talk to each other, I occasionally stay up if something's bothered him/me and we're talking it through or he's upset or something but I wouldn't stay up half the night to just catch up, not unless I hadn't spoken to him in weeks or something
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Avatar for Kittiara
Kittiara
16
Not every guy is into the fluffy, sugary messages containing words like "baby" and "sweetheart" and sending Xxx-s. He sounds like more of a no-nonsense, straightforward kind of person.

The fact that he talks to you like he talks to other girls is probably a sign that he's comfortable with you. Again, if he doesn't use terms of endearment, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. Some guys simply don't do that.

If he doesn't stay up with you, maybe he is tired, and wants his sleep, even if he doesn't have anything to do the next day.

And he probably already knows your favourite things to do, if you have been with him for quite a while?

He says he loves you, and that he prays for you, and that he's cried for you, and I doubt he would be telling you that if he didn't feel it. Some guys hardly ever say they love their girlfriend, even though they do, so at least he's open about how he feels!

Honestly, a boyfriend isn't always going to behave in exactly the way you want him to behave. And sometimes he'll be busy, so won't be able to text back immediately. If you love him, and want to be with him, you'll have to take him how he is (within reason, of course, like if he started to mistreat you that's a different matter), just like you no doubt want him to accept you for the way you are.

He doesn't sound like a bad guy.

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