The Student Room Group

Is it ever justifiable for parents to disown their own offspring?

Like say you were a parent and your offspring didn't conform to your religious beliefs or was a murderer. Would you still love them no matter what?

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Reply 1
In an ethical sense, never :no:
Reply 2
If you knowingly and willingly become a parent, you're agreeing to care for your child as long as you are able to, regardless of whether you end up wanting to or not. So, no.
Disowning your offspring is pretty much admitting defeat to the lifelong challenge that is raising a child.

Hence, I will never do it.
Depends on the age of the offspring in question.
If had an 18 year old child and they killed someone in cold blood, and let's say that someone happened to be a family member or a close friend, I think I'd probably never forgive them and possibly disown them. Unless they had excellent reason to, of course. I'm not saying it's the right and morally sound thing to do, but that's probably how it'd play out.

Disowning someone for not upholding your religious beliefs is a terrible idea and anybody who wants to do something like that does not deserve the title of "parent". That's on par (for me, anyway) with saying "Oh, you don't like Orange juice? Get out. Get out now before I call the police and have them grind your skull in to my next carton of Tropicana!" *swigs brutishly from the carton*
(edited 12 years ago)
Shooshh.
Reply 6
Where is the "Is it ever justifiable for offspring to disown their parents" thread? :rolleyes:
Nope.
I suppose this is coming from the thread about a child converting to Islam? To be real:

White people: Disown their parents if they're disobedient.
Asian people: Disown their children if they're disobedient.

This is why white parents are in constant fear of disobeying their children and why Asian children are in constant fear of disobeying their parents.
Yes.

Example: Jospeh Fritzl's parents
I think a good parent loves their child unconditionally, or almost unconditionally. Which means (almost) never disowning them, loving them even if they do dreadful, evil things.

But there must be some limit. I suppose you can end up hating your child if, for example they are a psychopath who enjoys hurting you personally - even then you may have strong conflicting feelings for them. Or if they hurt your other children deliberately.

I asked my parents if there was anything me or my brother could do, that they would not feel parental love for us, or rather - that love might be overwhelmed by hatred, that they might ever want to harm us. My mum replied that she might feel that way if one of us killed the other.

Even then I get the impression that she would still feel love (as well as hatred) for her remaining child. I'm pretty sure that I could murder dad, and she might be very angry (obv), but she would still love me. I'm pretty sure that I could be a serial killer, and she would still love me.

On the contrary to what some posters have written - I think the knowledge of your parents' unconditional love makes you a happier and more stable person, one who is less likely to engage in delinquent or criminal behaviour. If you have a close, loving bond with your parents - you don't need the threat of punishment to want to please them and generally be a good person.

I think the majority of young criminals probably actually the kind who are very angry, and insecure, wanting to go along with or please others. Or have a lack of empathy because they haven't had normal relationships (eg: with their parents) as a child. I don't know many criminals from happy, loving homes. Yet again, I don't know many criminals at all so... what do I know?

Note: Not to imply that all people from sad/unloving backgrounds have immoral/criminal tendencies. I guess some are very strong people even despite their background.
Reply 11
I'm disowning you for asking such a question.

Depends on the situation as mentioned above an 18 year old killing someone in cold-blood
I wouldn't, it's just giving up.

Well unless they became the head of Nazi Britain and began using gas chambers on a select race, then I would.
Yes, it's parents total prerogative.
Reply 14
Disowning someone for religious reasons is stupid.

That's the reason why I know longer have a relationship with my father - I wasn't the Muslim daughter he wanted. I fail to understand how someone can value religion (which you don't need to be a good person anyway) over the people they say they love most.

If a child of mine turned out to be a murderer though...I don't know, maybe if it was someone in cold blood. Perhaps some people will think that makes me a bad person but that's just me, everyone's entitled to an opinion.
As someone who will probably be disowned by my parents in the near future- no, I would not disown my child with no good reason.

Disowning a child on the basis that they do not follow your faith, have married someone you don't like or is LGBT is a horrible thing to do. You bring the child into the world, they don't ask to be born and they're not your slaves.

If the child was inherently bad (a child- abuser, murderer, or emotionally and/ physically abusive in general) then that's a slightly different case. But I just don't understand how some parents can disown their kids so easily. They probably shouldn't have them.
Original post by Ayshizzle
As someone who will probably be disowned by my parents in the near future- no, I would not disown my child with no good reason.

Disowning a child on the basis that they do not follow your faith, have married someone you don't like or is LGBT is a horrible thing to do. You bring the child into the world, they don't ask to be born and they're not your slaves.

If the child was inherently bad (a child- abuser, murderer, or emotionally and/ physically abusive in general) then that's a slightly different case. But I just don't understand how some parents can disown their kids so easily. They probably shouldn't have them.


After your parents disown you what will you do, hang around with white people all day? I know some Indian people who've been disowned and they're banned from ever speaking to any member of their family ever again, this includes attending weddings of second/third cousins or whatever. It's quite sad actually cos now all they have is white people to hang around with and as we know inter-racial/inter-cultural relationships don't work out and then they end up alone (possibly single as a single mum). Their white friends end up moving on with their lives so they end up alone whilst the rest of their family is playing happy families and meeting each other and having their kids play together and calling each other 'auntie' and 'uncle' and celebrating Diwali/Birthdays/Weddings/Baby Showers together whilst the outcast son/daughter (usually daughter) is alone in a flat somewhere on the other side of town. Occasionally they might bump into one another two decades later but the outcast daughter will be ignored for something she did in her youth. If she had the chance, she'd go back and never do it but it's far too late and out of honour her family will never accept her back.
Original post by alexsasg
Disowning someone for religious reasons is stupid.

That's the reason why I know longer have a relationship with my father - I wasn't the Muslim daughter he wanted. I fail to understand how someone can value religion (which you don't need to be a good person anyway) over the people they say they love most.

If a child of mine turned out to be a murderer though...I don't know, maybe if it was someone in cold blood. Perhaps some people will think that makes me a bad person but that's just me, everyone's entitled to an opinion.


Did your life turn out like the story in my above post?
Original post by Brutal Honesty
After your parents disown you what will you do, hang around with white people all day? I know some Indian people who've been disowned and they're banned from ever speaking to any member of their family ever again, this includes attending weddings of second/third cousins or whatever. It's quite sad actually cos now all they have is white people to hang around with and as we know inter-racial/inter-cultural relationships don't work out and then they end up alone (possibly single as a single mum). Their white friends end up moving on with their lives so they end up alone whilst the rest of their family is playing happy families and meeting each other and having their kids play together and calling each other 'auntie' and 'uncle' and celebrating Diwali/Birthdays/Weddings/Baby Showers together whilst the outcast son/daughter (usually daughter) is alone in a flat somewhere on the other side of town. Occasionally they might bump into one another two decades later but the outcast daughter will be ignored for something she did in her youth. If she had the chance, she'd go back and never do it but it's far too late and out of honour her family will never accept her back.


Well most of my friends are white anyways so I doubt that would be a massive problem. Hmm, I'd say the biggest change to me is that I won't see my parents and probably certain members of extended family (ever again, if they never come around). I'm pretty much completely independent of my parents so at least I won't be left homeless and poor and stuff.

But yeah, I've heard stories about people who've been disowned and they've been completely cut off from almost everyone they knew. It's appalling.
depends.....if they did something horrific and refused to show any remorse, and i couldnt engage with them, once they were 18 then im sorry to say i wouldnt put myself through it although i would make it clear i would be there once they show remorse.
however, id like to think id raise my child well enough,that theyd never do anything too bad, and still have a moral compass :smile:

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