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Realistically, how hard is it to make friends at Uni?

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What about -18s? I heard that "it wont be a problem and blabla" but so many freshers events and other things are +18. How can you make friends if you miss out on so many events?

Reply 21

ChildOfShakespeare

In sixth form and secondary school making friends, being invited to events and generally being popular is easier if you are good looking, care more about your social life than school and if you wear designer clothes. (Well it is in my school anyway.)

Is it like this in uni?

Reply 22

chronic_fatigue

Original post by ChildOfShakespeare

If I'm honest, it is sometimes like this. A lot of people on here say uni students are more intelligent, open minded blah blah blah but I don't think this is always true. People don't change in the holidays that fast, if you were a snob before you will be a snob at uni too. I have one or two good friends but the rest are acquanitances. I moved schools quite a bit and found it easy to make good friends in all of them but at university there is too much focus on the drinking to make friends. Clubbing can be fun and I have the odd drink. There are people who don't drink much but they all seem to be on the other extreme end of the spectrum and never want to go out clubbing which I understand but they don't want to go out in general a lot of the time either.

Reply 23

jelly1000

Original post by neverlander¾

What about -18s? I heard that "it wont be a problem and blabla" but so many freshers events and other things are +18. How can you make friends if you miss out on so many events?

for the freshers events at my uni they never once checked our ID. If you will need ID then get a fake one.

Reply 24

StartSomething

It's easy to make friends.
It's not so easy to make proper friends.
But you will find them :smile:

Reply 25

Lintu93

OP I was like you before uni. Have one friend from primary school and one friend from secondary school who matter, and a small handful of aquintances from secondary school who I got on amicably with. But since starting uni I've made SOO many friends - it's unreal and at times I've been overwhelmed by just how friendly everyone is! Tbh I've found it pretty hard to adjust. Most people I know started uni knowing no-one and we were all in the same boat and everyone seemed incredibly keen to meet everyone else.

I'm not going to lie - drinking and going out helped a lot. Especially at the beginning of uni when no-one knew each other that well, we were all there to help carry the drunkest person up the stairs and to give them a glass of water before trying to get them to bed before they passed out. I was genuinely surprised by how lovely everyone was! But at the same time the people who don't drink had no problem fitting in at all. On my floor there's someone who doesn't drink at all, someone who's too young and someone who hates nightclubs and prefers pubs - all three of them have just as many friends as everyone else.

Reply 26

natalieann1993

This is such a difficult question to try and explain aha..

Its not hard to make friends at Uni.
People are all in the same boat so are usually happy for the company and effort anyone makes with them.
However, after freshers you find a lot of friends disappear and are replaced by new ones.

I'd say its easy to make friends at Uni.
But good friendships take more time to seek out and find.

Reply 27

NeonXIII

Making friends at uni is easy because everyone is going to a new place and starting fresh, so everyone wants to make friends.

Drinking isn't "fundamental" to uni life as so many people are spewing in here - it's popular yes, but you don't need to drink to fit in and have a good time. I have friends that don't drink and I don't think any less of them for it, nor do they miss out on anything because of it. It's your choice and don't let anyone on here convince you that you need to drink just to make friends and have a good time.

During freshers week and the first weeks of your course everyone will most likely be talking to everyone just to get to know eachother, even if you're so shy that you can't approach people I'm sure that people will approach you so you have nothing to worry about.
Everyone is generally buzzing to be at uni and it's a great atmosphere, you'll meet loads of people and have a lot of fun!

Before uni I was extremely shy, struggled with making friends at college and as a result had a very miserable couple of years and could count my friends on one hand as a result. I'd never been to a club before either.

When I got to uni I was determined not to make the same mistake again and just spoke to people and went out to socialise at every opportunity - I don't mean going to clubs every night, I mean I went shopping with my flatmates, went to explore the local area, sat with people and chatted as they cooked dinner etc... In fact when we met the first thing we did was fill out our NHS forms and walk down to the on campus medical centre to register!
Your course lecturers and societies will no doubt have a little ice-breaker at the beginning as well which is helpful.

I'm now much happier than I have ever been because of it and am having the best year of my life at uni.
As I said as well I'd never been to a club before, but at uni I just went for it, danced and had a laugh with everyone there. That was fun too!

I know it's hard being shy because I've been there, but everyone wants to make friends when they get to uni so you have nothing to worry about! Just don't lock yourself away in your room all day and you'll be absolutely fine. :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 28

RowingGoose

Once you get to uni you can be who you want to be, nobody has to know that you were shy and "unpopular" at school.

I'm was shy before I went to uni, but I when I went, I made the effort to talk to EVERYONE I met, even if it's a bit of an effort. You're waiting in a cue to get your laundry, waiting for a bus, at the bar etc, talk to someone, ask what accommodation they live in, what they're studying. Think about it logically, if you talk to two people you may not have a good chance of making a friend.If you talk to 15 people, you have more chance!

I was waiting for a campus bus and I sat next to two girls. I just said "hi, is this where the campus bus comes?". They said yes and I asked them waht course they were doing, where they lived etc. One of them ended up being on my course and living in the same accommodation as me, and now we're best friends and share a house in 3rd year etc! It can happen :smile:

Goose's top tips:
-Talk to everyone and anyone you can
-Talk a bit louder than usual if you're quiet
-Smile more
-Ask questions about the other person
-Go out to as many freshers events as you can and leave your room door open in halls. Cook your food when other housemates are cooking too and if you're a bit lost in the town/city as the housemates if they want to nip along with you.
-Try to be open with your body language, head up, arms uncrossed etc.
-Sign up for loads of things at freshers fayre, go to as many clubs as you can and find one or a few that you like.
-A little more effort can go a long way :smile:

Good luck, have a great time at uni!

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 29

fuzznbass

It's easy, although my uni could improve a lot seeing as there is a lack of societies and the bar is rather quiet a lot :frown:

Reply 30

Rascacielos

It's easy to find people to hang around and drink with, particularly if you live in halls. It's not so easy to make actual "friends."

Reply 31

senator88

Original post by Procrastination

I have always been quite shy and "unpopular". I have a very small group of very good friends at secondary school.

What was your experience like?

I think it's very easy to make friends if you're friendly and go to Uni with an open mind. Everyone says it but leave your door open when you get there, you will come across much more approachable to your new flatmates. I also found playing board games and watching movies was a great way to bond with my flatmates...it doesn't always have to revolve around drinking :smile:

Saying that though, make the most of freshers week and go out (even if you don't like clubs that much) because it's so easy to make friends and once the whole freshers hype settles down you'll probably find you have things in common. Also, join as many clubs and societies as you can, try something different, they are great for socializing and some of my best friends from Uni I met through societies. Lastly, your course is a great way of making friends, just be friendly and try to talk to people in your classes. Remember, everyone is the same boat and there will be loads of people feeling the same way you do :smile:

Reply 32

JME10

Should be easy. Your early friendships generally come from your flatmates so just be yourself, make an effort to talk and get to know them and you'll be fine.

Reply 33

TomDuffus

I'm pretty introverted and like a few of you I don't drink. That meant that I didn't really go to the SU (Which was considered pretty poor anyway) and I think I only once went to a pub in my whole Foundation year. Freshers week didn't make me any friends, really, they came after- once all the mentalness had calmed down. I made two pretty good friends, and was friendly with lots of people through them, too. Some were introverted like me, but my best friend did go out on occassion, but it meant that I could act something of a blanket when he came back feeling a bit ill or didn't want to go out. You might get left out sometimes if you're not outgoing, but if you're friendly and caring to people, people will still like you- most people like to spend some quiet relaxy time too.

Reply 34

LettersFromTheSky

Original post by ChildOfShakespeare

not at all in my experience, you meet all sorts at uni, noone has any time for stuff like that imo

Original post by neverlander¾

What about -18s? I heard that "it wont be a problem and blabla" but so many freshers events and other things are +18. How can you make friends if you miss out on so many events?

a lot of the time spent meeting new people, in freshers week for me wasnt at clubs but at predrinks, going to other flats, socialising with your flatmates before going out etc is where people generally met eachother at my uni

Reply 35

Tom-White

is it very hard to make friends when you don't live in uni halls .. I'm really a shy person and thinking about not having friends and being alone for 3 years Is a bit hard

Reply 36

mnot

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Tom-White

is it very hard to make friends when you don't live in uni halls .. I'm really a shy person and thinking about not having friends and being alone for 3 years Is a bit hard

This thread is 8 years old, best to make a new one.

But no its not hard, uni is a community with all types of different people, you will find your crowd, just a tip for when you arrive try and say yes to things & try out sports or societies...