The Student Room Group

My name is not "Hey Baby"

There was a brilliant broadcast on Radio 4 a couple of days ago about the Slutwalks, street harassment and so forth :smile: if you haven't heard it I'd really encourage you to listen!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01g61w2

Just trying to spread the word / raise awareness; I'd be interested to hear your views!

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Reply 1
If you dress provacatively, you are doing so to attract guys attention. You can't pick and choose which guys will give you the attention because life doesn't work that way, so live it it i say.

Why else would you be dressing provacatively? For your own health?
Reply 2
A girl said that to me and I :cry: felt so...so violated, I want to be appreciated for my personality and intellect, rather than being a sex object to bands of cackling women in heat. I'm being ****ing serious, inappropriate sexual advances made towards men are an accepted part of our, "culture" as if men by nature are aways up for sex with any girl willing to drop her knickers. Women can just roam the streets looking for any man they desire to indulge at their leisure. As it was clearly you who disagrees OP why not take a look at how you are objectifying men in your avatar?
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 3
Original post by james1211
If you dress provacatively, you are doing so to attract guys attention. You can't pick and choose which guys will give you the attention because life doesn't work that way, so live it it i say.

Why else would you be dressing provacatively? For your own health?


i agree with you that if a female dresses provocatively she should expect male attention
but males should respect certain boundaries when giving said females this attention
So let me get this straight.

Women want men to do the approaching etc when it comes to 'making the first move' as a general rule, however don't want men to be flirty or use 'derogatory' phrases.

The women out there who aren't radical feminists also don't want men to pay them any attention whatsoever despite all the time, effort and money they put into their appearance. They want intelligent, matter of fact interactions where men never look at their breasts or compliment them on any aspect of their appearance whatsoever. If they do comment, it should be limited to expressions more typical of a country gentleman and not 'hey baby', the most offensive phrase in the English language.

I am of course being facetious and sarcastic. Feminists need to understand that not all women share their views, and some actually LIKE to be objectified and drooled over. Why do you think they go out on a Friday night with a skirt up to their knickers and breasts pushed up to the ceiling? So they can be completely ignored and have no 'perverted' men approach them. Yeah of course they do. And what about the legions of women who fall over themselves to have pictures taken for magazines such as Nuts and Zoo. Do you think they hate attention?

Feminists need to realise that not all women want the kind of equality and responsibility in society that they crave and realise that some actually like typical male attention.
Reply 5
Original post by minniiee
i agree with you that if a female dresses provocatively she should expect male attention
but males should respect certain boundaries when giving said females this attention


I tried dressing provocatively and was quite disappointed to find no women violated any boundaries when giving me attention. Actually they didn't give me any attention at all. Now I have to return those leather chaps and leopard print half-shirt back to the store.

In all seriousness people should be polite no matter what you wear. With laws of attraction and rituals of flirting there are grey areas though. I would say a smile and a "hey baby" is alright. A "hey baby, get out your tits" is not.
Reply 6
Original post by james1211
If you dress provacatively, you are doing so to attract guys attention. You can't pick and choose which guys will give you the attention because life doesn't work that way, so live it it i say.

Why else would you be dressing provacatively? For your own health?


Because women should be able to dress however they want without fear of being harassed for it?
Reply 7
I'm getting the feeling none of you have actually listened to the programme, and are just spouting the usual responses...
Reply 8
Original post by HJFSS
Because women should be able to dress however they want without fear of being harassed for it?


They should but unfortunately that's not the world we live in. We live in one where there are men out there who will harass women, in some cases depending on how they are dressed.
Reply 9
Original post by Lil Piranha
I'm getting the feeling none of you have actually listened to the programme, and are just spouting the usual responses...


Radio's long, nothing to see. If you'd summarise the bits you want to talk about I'd read it though :tongue:

I prefer reading an argument anyway, means you can address it properly and go back in case you missed anything.
(edited 11 years ago)
Shouldn't it be my name is not 'baby' unless guys are saying 'hey hey baby', which also reminds me of that song. :holmes:
Reply 11
Original post by TheHansa
A girl said that to me and I :cry: felt so...so violated, I'm not a sexual object and I want to be appreciated for my personality and intellect, rather than being a sex object to bands of cackling women in heat. I'm being ****ing serious, inappropriate sexual advances made towards men are an accepted part of our, "culture" as if men by nature are aways up for sex with any girl willing to drop her knickers. Women can just roam the streets looking for any man they desire to indulge at their leisure. As it was clearly you who disagrees OP why not take a look at how you are objectifying men in your avatar?


I don't believe I specified "women only" in my OP. In fact, it makes no mention of gender.

Sexual harassment isn't acceptable no matter who it's directed at.

However, fancying a fictional character probably doesn't count.
Original post by Lil Piranha
However, fancying a fictional character probably doesn't count.


A fictional character portrayed though, by a real person that you consider sexy. By making reference to the way he looks you are focussing on David Tennant's physical attributes, and not to the character he plays. If it was purely the Dr Who character you found sexy then you wouldn't care which of the actors appeared in your avatar, and you wouldn't make a distinction between timelords that are sexy, and timelords that are not
Reply 13
Original post by HJFSS
Because women should be able to dress however they want without fear of being harassed for it?


Define harrassment. Unwanted attention is not harrassment.
Reply 14
Original post by Chwirkytheappleboy
A fictional character portrayed though, by a real person that you consider sexy. By making reference to the way he looks you are focussing on David Tennant's physical attributes, and not to the character he plays. If it was purely the Dr Who character you found sexy then you wouldn't care which of the actors appeared in your avatar, and you wouldn't make a distinction between timelords that are sexy, and timelords that are not


It's still not harassment. Fancying someone =/= harassment.

I'm sure some of the guys on here have some very interesting thoughts about female celebrities, but that also isn't harassment. Unless you persist in sending them letters, going through their rubbish bins and following them around - that IS harassment.

The radio programme in question is about the Slutwalks that took place last year in London which aimed to raise awareness of the issues surrounding street harassment. Fancying celebrities is allowed (as long as you don't make dirty phonecalls to them).
Reply 15
Original post by Lil Piranha
I don't believe I specified "women only" in my OP. In fact, it makes no mention of gender.

Sexual harassment isn't acceptable no matter who it's directed at.

However, fancying a fictional character probably doesn't count.


Slutwalk gets a mention and the radio show was a bunch of students with vaginas talking about how oppressed they are because ugly fat men gave them an unimaginative comments and a nasty policemen didn't automatically take the side of the women who made an accusation.

I think it's less to do with the character and more the actor.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 17
Original post by TheHansa
You mentioned the slutwalk and the radio show was a bunch of students with vaginas talking about how oppressed they are because ugly fat men gave them an unimaginative comments and a nasty policemen didn't automatically take the side of the women who made an accusation.

I think it's less to do with the character and more the actor.


There were more than a few men at these Slutwalks you know (again, if you'd listened to the radio programme you'd have known this...)

And as I explained further up - fancying someone (whoever it is) is not harassment.
Reply 18
Original post by HJFSS
Because women should be able to dress however they want without fear of being harassed for it?


I can't go out of my house leaving it unlocked, because I might be robbed.

Yes, if I do go out leaving it unlocked and I'm robbed, the fault lies on the robber, not me. But I am aware that the world is not ideal and so I can take steps to avoid being robbed.

This is parallel to the situation of provocative clothing. Yes, everyone should be able to wear exactly what they want without being attacked. Yes, the harasser is always to blame, not the victim. Yes, steps to raise awareness especially in men to avoiding sexual harassment are always good. But at the same time, we know that there are certain types of behaviour that increase risk of having something occur to you that we don't want to happen. In almost all other cases we would see it as stupid to not take steps to prevent it: we lock our houses, we alarm our cars, we put codes on our phones, we use CCTV. We shouldn't HAVE to, because people shouldn't commit robberies or attacks, but it would be seen as a bad choice not to protect yourself in this way. I don't understand why the provocative clothing situation is seen so differently, we don't have people walking down the street protesting against having to lock their houses.
Original post by james1211
If you dress provacatively, you are doing so to attract guys attention. You can't pick and choose which guys will give you the attention because life doesn't work that way, so live it it i say.

Why else would you be dressing provacatively? For your own health?


Men like you need to learn that women dont dress for your benefit.

neg me all you like but it´s the truth.
(edited 11 years ago)

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