Have you ever been studiously sitting in lectures, only to have a mass of backcombed hair obstruct your view of the screen? Have you ever walked along Parade and heard the “yah, yah” sounds of rah girls talking on their Blackberrys? Have you ever been shocked at the sight of seeing a Rah walking around in Jack Wills pjs and flip flops when it’s snowing?
If so, don't worry, because you are not alone. The Rah population at Bath University is on the increase and is certainly starting to stir-up major friction within freshers halls this year.
I suppose, at this point, I should probably make clear, to all those who are still feeling slightly confused, what a Rah actually is. Generally, they are those students who were privately educated and are normally seen sporting Jack Wills or Abercrombie & Fitch, big messy hair and a double-barreled surname. Girlrahs are commonly seen swishing their hair from side to side and flashing around daddy’s credit card. Manrahs are the guys who find it perfectly acceptable to pay £25+ for a pair of boxers and think that towel-whipping, communal showering and funneling beer into another guy’s mouth is as important to rugby as scoring a try.
However, following the breaking news that Rahs have recently infiltrated the most northerly of northern universities, Newcastle, the Bath Rah population has begun causing quite an irritation this semester. There have been instances where Manrahs have been watching ‘Deal or No Deal’ and shouted at the TV, “…it’s only twenty bloody grand you commoner!” I even saw a Rah girl outside Woodland Court say, “I’m not spoilt, my daddy just loves me!”
So if you are one of the victims of the Rah invasion, annoyed by their popped collars, holiday homes and dependence on daddy, I’m afraid the worst is yet to come. The number of Rahs on campus is rising, so you better get used to it dah-ling.
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So, how Rah are you?
If you are still unsure whether you qualify as a fully-fledged Rah, take the test below, counting the number of statements that apply to you.
Girlrah (Grah)
• You refer to your father as DADDY!!
• You pronounce darling (dah-ling!)
• The Jack Wills catalogue has become your new Bible.
• You have a hairbrush, but what’s the point? Messy hair is cool.
• You think that wearing multi-coloured scarves and pashminas is just so… now.
• You constantly use “yah” instead of the more common “yes”.
• You always flick your hair from left to right (mandatory).
• You fancy Manrahs.
Manrah
• You wear your beanie half-off, sunglasses in lectures and flip-flops all year round.
• You joined a sport/society just for the stash and then wear it for at least 6 days every week.
• You were annoyed about the ban on fox hunting (damn rodents!)
• You cannot help but pop your collar.
• You think tweed is definitely back in fashion. Period.
• You think opening a bottle of Dom Pérignon to celebrate exam results is just good taste.
• You own an unthinkable number of gilets.
• You fancy Grahs.
Less than 3: Well, you are definitely not a rah
3-5: You are well on your way to becoming infected with Rah-itus.
6 or more: Dah-ling! Pour out the Pimms and get the Range Rover to Henley, you couldn’t be more of a Rah!
Oh, and if your name is Percy, Hugo, Quentin or Arthur (male) Daisy, Poppy, Georgie or Hattie (female), then automatically add 3 ‘yes’ answers to your score. If your name is Tarquin, I suggest shooting yourself with daddy’s shotgun. Seriously.