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Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

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Reply 460
This wasn't really surprising, I have such informal relations with my ICT teacher, but it was just hilarious.

In ICT class

(my friend next to me playing games)

teacher: for god's sake why don't you DO some work!?

friend: **** off sir!

teacher: (walks off) same to you!
Well this may not be related but ..

There was this somalian boy in my maths a level class and he didn't turn up to any lessons for like 5 months...

My teacher askED him, where were you for the past 5 months?
He replied, i was here 2 months ago!!

It was funny at the time :biggrin:

LOL
Reply 462
Having a discussion about Mitosis with my friends

Teacher: WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT FISTING?

Us: :lolwut: or :ahee:
Original post by Ra Ra
Another one (for all of you who did Of Mice and Men at GCSE :biggrin:)

My teacher took great interest in Curley and his glove full of vaseline, and the fact that he did so to keep his hand soft for his wife :sexface:


I miss GCSE! Our teacher found it awkward having to explain that bit to a bunch of 15/16 year olds!
Original post by Over The Rainbow X
I miss GCSE! Our teacher found it awkward having to explain that bit to a bunch of 15/16 year olds!



I miss GCSE, too! We spent literally every lesson trying to convince our teacher that George and Lennie had a thing for each other...:wink:
Reply 465
At a parent-teaching meeting: [When telling my tutor I'm not really interested in pursuing chemistry] "You have to apply to Oxford". - :lolwut:

During GCSE maths "A-level maths is easy" :lolwut:
"You know you've found love when your partner appreciates a dutch oven."
"Boys, periods are disgusting. Girls, have you ever had little blobs of blood come out, a little bit like cold gravy? It wiggles!"

God bless my English teacher!
One of our music teachers has a habit of randomly shouting out inappropriate comments about sex to get attention. For example:

When talking about organum - "Yeah yeah, I know, it sounds like 'orgasm', hahaha!" (must be noted that he said this very sarcastically as if we were laughing about it...in all honesty, we were really pretty nonplussed when he said the word "organum" anyway)

And "CAN WE ALL JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE?" (when we weren't. Like, at all)

Ad most recently, when trying helping take one of musical rehearsals for the school show - "CAN WE ALL JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MRS SO-AND-SO TALK ABOUT SEX?!" (when really, all she was doing was trying to get us to learn harmonies and sex played no part in this - we're doing Hairspray, for God's sake, it's hardly dirty)

It's um...interesting, to say the least. :lolwut:
(edited 11 years ago)
My slightly creepy biology teacher said he wanted to see my proteins :/
Lining up in the corridor waiting for class, when a boy tries to punch me in the chest, for no reason, I block him and kick him away, another boy gets my deputy head of year and says I kicked him for no reason, I explain what happened, she says he was probably just doing it playfully (he tried to punch in the chest FFS) and that in future "I should Communicate to prevent further Tension", so I'm basically meant to say "Sorry dear, looks like my chest got in the way of your first". I'm still angry, 3 months on.

Also, last year in Maths, our teacher taught us a neumonic to help with trigonometry.

Sex On Holiday Can Actually Harm The Old Anus (she didn't say the last word - she asked us to work it out for ourselves, but it was very obvious)
Yesterday, my maths teacher said '...who wrote this book? It's crap. Hugh Neill... and Douglas Quadling? Right, if I ever meet these guys I'm going to punch them'.

FP2 & 3 book - he was reading it so he could help me with one of the exercises and their explanations are atrocious.
Original post by TopG
Lining up in the corridor waiting for class, when a boy tries to punch me in the chest, for no reason, I block him and kick him away, another boy gets my deputy head of year and says I kicked him for no reason, I explain what happened, she says he was probably just doing it playfully (he tried to punch in the chest FFS) and that in future "I should Communicate to prevent further Tension", so I'm basically meant to say "Sorry dear, looks like my chest got in the way of your first". I'm still angry, 3 months on.

Also, last year in Maths, our teacher taught us a neumonic to help with trigonometry.

Sex On Holiday Can Actually Harm The Old Anus (she didn't say the last word - she asked us to work it out for ourselves, but it was very obvious)


Surely good old SOHCAHTOA would have sufficed? :giggle:
Reply 472
For me it's:

"your in the foundation tier for core science" :confused: when I did NOT deserve that at all. so weird for me
'Haha, I wonder what kind of drugs you would suit? Not speed or ecstasy; help me out here, class!'

*silence*

Errr...
My biology teacher once said, "I remember when I had cystitis." before telling us how painful it was and how it was really difficult to make an appointment with the doctor.

And my chemistry teacher said to my maths teacher, "It's so hot in this room I could strip to my bra and panties!" Cue awkward turtle...
My school's pretty normal compared to what I've read.

However, recently my History teacher got engaged, she's the best/nicest/youngest teacher in my school and we were all talking about it in before maths class. My maths teacher came outside of her classroom to summon us in, but fist she said, "I've been engaged for 5 years and no-one has ever 'wondered' what MY dress would be like!" really angrily.

No-one even knew she was engaged.
Reply 476
"You did well on the past paper... keep it up!"
"I could still improve it though, and get a higher grade"
"That's why I love you... ERRR, in a purely teacher-student type way!"
No word of a lie

In like year 7 we had this slightly hysterical R.E teacher who was going through all kinds of problems and wouldn't hesitate to tell our class. They go something like this:

"I have daddy issues"
"My boyfriend is in love with someone else- so I'm going to explain unrequited love today children"

But probably the funniest/most disturbing comment was her asking this girl in my form (bearing in mind we're all like innocent little year 7s) whether or not she should have a threesome.

:eyeball::lolwut:

And she used to cry a lot in our class, with all of our class comforting her. :lolwut:

She was fired by christmas.
I was helping a friend with an experiment for his Young's modulus coursework, but the wire just wouldn't break. We ended up running out of weights and needed the wire to break before we could finish the experiment. So we ended up finding things that roughly weighed 100g to put on the wire. My physics teacher walked in to see a wire with staplers, clamp stands, heatproof mats, sellotape, an iPhone, a watch, an iPod and a scrubbing brush attached to it. He just said 'are you sure the scrubbing brush is heavy enough?' and left.

It ended up breaking after I clamped my FP2&3 book to it.
One German lesson in Year 10, our regular teacher was off so we had a substitute. However, he was late so the drama teacher (who was amazing) walked in, went "Right mofo's, I've been asked to sit here and watch your lesson until the guy appears. I don't know any German so this is a music lesson now", grabbed a toy recorder from a drawer, played it for about 10 seconds, then started asking people random questions, then walked out. Best German lesson ever.

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