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OP, I agree with you. If I was in your situation, I'd feel really bad too :frown:

Talk to your boyfriend about it, make sure he understands how you are feeling. He will go to this athletics meet anyways, but call him often so you don't feel so bad.

It depends on what this girl is usually like- is she like this to many guys, or just your boyfriend? I would be on guard anyways..

Good luck! And don't feel too bad about it. Make yourself busy while he's away. DON'T sit around doing nothing, you'll feel so much worse. Organise a few nights out with friends etc. Your boyfriend will keep his promise!! :smile:
Make a eunich out of him!
Sugar_Gems
Well that just goes to show then, that your boyfriend is fully aware of the other girls behaviour and chooses not to 'distance' himself from her or politely let her know that they are strictly friends.

Again we have another thread where the girlfriend blames the 'other woman' instead of looking at her boyfriend instead.
Your actually saying that he has noticed it too, AND he knows how much it is upsetting you, and yet he chooses to let 'it' (whatever it, i.e this situation is), go on, hmmmmmm...


Frankly, if the OP's boyfriend were to say "okay, darling, I'll tell this girl to back off" even though she's done nothing inappropriate whatsoever, then he would be allowing the OP to be controlling and domineering. Why should he have to damage his obviously good relationship with a friend because the OP is paranoid and thinks something is going on, when there appears to be no evidence for it? If there is a paranoid person in a relationship then they need to learn to quash their worries; their other half should definitely not be expected to pander to irrationality. The OP is being selfish here, not her boyfriend.
To the OP - I think he is getting close to her for you. She is the president, she has power! He has to do some sucking up so that he is in good stead with her, helping him climb up the ladder, taking you with him every step of the way.
I had a similar thing with my boyfriend, and it bothered me a little so I can see why you're upset, but you've spoken to him and he's told you he's not interested in her and loves you. What more can he possibly say or do to prove this to you? You can't ask him to give up his obvious passion. You have just got to forget about her and tell yourself that they are just friends.
Reply 25
OP i feel bad for you and think people on here are being too harsh. It all depends on the relationship and if this kind of thing doesn't normally happen and you're not used to you're bf being really close with other girls it can be really really hard so i'm sorry you're going through this. The only thing you can do is really make you're bf understand why you're feeling this way. Ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed. Other than that all you can do is try and let the anxiety go if he decides to go and the best thing to do when he's away is to go out yourself with friends and have a wild night so you're not sitting at home worrying yourself to death. Good luck :smile:
Anonymous
I'm in a really difficult situation regarding my boyfriend and another girl.

Ive been with my bf for about a year and a half. We got together in our first year of uni and things have been great ever since. Last year he joined an athletics group and got really into it. Although it meant seeing eachother less, I was ok with it and there were no problems.

Recently though its been difficult. This year, he got promoted onto the athletics committee. Since then hes been literally obsessed with training all the time and going out on socials with the team (LOADS of girls). I wouldnt mind this but I'm a bit uncomfortable about how close the president of the society is getting to him.

She was never a problem before but shes caused a few arguments between us lately. I first met her a few weeks ago. She came up to me in a club and said "I think your bf is really great, i like him A LOT. well done". I thought this was a bit weird for her to say, especially as she knows we're going out :confused:

Then I was out with him and she text him saying "i just saw you and can see u now! xxxx" which I thought was a bit weird and stalkerish. The most worrying thing happened when he went clubbing on a social with them and pics appeared on facebook the next day with her literally all over him - her arm round him etc - they actually looked like a couple and it made me really upset.

I've spoken to him about it and he says hes not interested in her and he loves me. The thing is, there's going to be an athletics competition soon which is being held in a town a few hours away. He'll be staying in a hotel overnight in between the competitions and going out clubbing with the team in the evenings. As shes president, she'll def be there and I'm really not happy about him going. I know its his life, but the thought of her staying overnight near him when I'm not there is making me feel sick.
Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.

I dont know what to do. This problem with her has suddenly popped up from nowhere and shes really getting on my nerves. I just want her to leave my boyfriend alone. Its making me so miserable :frown: I've spoken to him about it but he just keeps saying nothing is going to happen as he likes me - yet she wont back off. What shall i do?


I can understand you in a way. Me and my bf are in more or less similar situation but the roles are reversed. It is me being around guys and him getting stresses.
What I think is believe you boyfriend. Why would you want him to stop doing that he likes? I think it is not fair. If he will do something with the girl you will no quicker that he is not the guy for you (realistic view). However, I am sure he likes you a lot.
there's going to be an athletics competition soon which is being held in a town a few hours away. He'll be staying in a hotel overnight in between the competitions and going out clubbing with the team in the evenings. As shes president, she'll def be there and I'm really not happy about him going. I know its his life, but the thought of her staying overnight near him when I'm not there is making me feel sick.

Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.


Idk how to word it but that sounds quite possessive and even a bit controlling. He needs your support and you should be happy for him. The girl is just trying to be friendly and is probably just friends. If she starts flirting and asking him out then I would get concerned, if he says he loves you then trust him. I think he feels like you're getting paranoid, controlling and that ya lack trust in him
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in a really difficult situation regarding my boyfriend and another girl.

Ive been with my bf for about a year and a half. We got together in our first year of uni and things have been great ever since. Last year he joined an athletics group and got really into it. Although it meant seeing eachother less, I was ok with it and there were no problems.

Recently though its been difficult. This year, he got promoted onto the athletics committee. Since then hes been literally obsessed with training all the time and going out on socials with the team (LOADS of girls). I wouldnt mind this but I'm a bit uncomfortable about how close the president of the society is getting to him.

She was never a problem before but shes caused a few arguments between us lately. I first met her a few weeks ago. She came up to me in a club and said "I think your bf is really great, i like him A LOT. well done". I thought this was a bit weird for her to say, especially as she knows we're going out :confused:

Then I was out with him and she text him saying "i just saw you and can see u now! xxxx" which I thought was a bit weird and stalkerish. The most worrying thing happened when he went clubbing on a social with them and pics appeared on facebook the next day with her literally all over him - her arm round him etc - they actually looked like a couple and it made me really upset.

I've spoken to him about it and he says hes not interested in her and he loves me. The thing is, there's going to be an athletics competition soon which is being held in a town a few hours away. He'll be staying in a hotel overnight in between the competitions and going out clubbing with the team in the evenings. As shes president, she'll def be there and I'm really not happy about him going. I know its his life, but the thought of her staying overnight near him when I'm not there is making me feel sick.
Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.

I dont know what to do. This problem with her has suddenly popped up from nowhere and shes really getting on my nerves. I just want her to leave my boyfriend alone. Its making me so miserable :frown: I've spoken to him about it but he just keeps saying nothing is going to happen as he likes me - yet she wont back off. What shall i do?

sing Jolene to her
You dont need to hate her or dislike her. It is about you and your boyfriend. If he is into it, try to fix it, but dont beg. Top of all, I have a feeling that your relationship is not so strong cux you are not confident with him.
It is upto you to solve. But dont blame him. just tell him how you feel and it will work out hopefully. Dont worry too much. If he leaves you than you deserve more than him. Ofcourse it will hurt but you have to be brave. All the best sis!! It is probably nothing big.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in a really difficult situation regarding my boyfriend and another girl.

Ive been with my bf for about a year and a half. We got together in our first year of uni and things have been great ever since. Last year he joined an athletics group and got really into it. Although it meant seeing eachother less, I was ok with it and there were no problems.

Recently though its been difficult. This year, he got promoted onto the athletics committee. Since then hes been literally obsessed with training all the time and going out on socials with the team (LOADS of girls). I wouldnt mind this but I'm a bit uncomfortable about how close the president of the society is getting to him.

She was never a problem before but shes caused a few arguments between us lately. I first met her a few weeks ago. She came up to me in a club and said "I think your bf is really great, i like him A LOT. well done". I thought this was a bit weird for her to say, especially as she knows we're going out :confused:

Then I was out with him and she text him saying "i just saw you and can see u now! xxxx" which I thought was a bit weird and stalkerish. The most worrying thing happened when he went clubbing on a social with them and pics appeared on facebook the next day with her literally all over him - her arm round him etc - they actually looked like a couple and it made me really upset.

I've spoken to him about it and he says hes not interested in her and he loves me. The thing is, there's going to be an athletics competition soon which is being held in a town a few hours away. He'll be staying in a hotel overnight in between the competitions and going out clubbing with the team in the evenings. As shes president, she'll def be there and I'm really not happy about him going. I know its his life, but the thought of her staying overnight near him when I'm not there is making me feel sick.
Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.

I dont know what to do. This problem with her has suddenly popped up from nowhere and shes really getting on my nerves. I just want her to leave my boyfriend alone. Its making me so miserable :frown: I've spoken to him about it but he just keeps saying nothing is going to happen as he likes me - yet she wont back off. What shall i do?


It’s urgent that you be cool about this

really cool calm and collected

you’re his girlfriend, he loves you or he wouldn’t be with you but you’re on the verge of turning him off

in this kind of situation, make sure the time you do spend together is nothing short of WONDERFUL

don’t even mention her

show her when you’re with him that she doesn’t threaten you (even if she does)

raise your stature and confidence
lol guys this was 11 years ago they're probably married now....

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