The Student Room Group

should i excommunicate, and how?

anon please, as i know lots of people on here.


i just completed a masters in and whilst studying i met a girl who i really, and i mean REALLY, liked. we got on really well and at first the attraction seemed obvious.


over the course of the year we had an incredibly turbulant time with lots of highs and lows. i made my feelings very clear but she always objected to any kind of relationship (with me). we got together a few times, but it was always on her terms, probably when she was feeling lonely / in need of a confidence boost. towards the end of the year she made it clear nothing was going to happen, and that she was seeing someone else. i was upset, particularly because a lot of the reasons she had given for us not happening was because she hadn't got over her ex bf, she couldn't trust herself to be with anyone etc (all obviously untrue).


at the end of the course (february) i was sad at the thought of her not being in my life, but also sad at how she'd treated me.


she wants to be friends now (we're both staying at home and are from the same city). i don't really want to be, but we have many shared friends and she is incredibly cut throat. i think it's probably now just easier to pretend for everything to be ok. partly i'm scared of the social consequences of cutting her out, partly i'm scared of giving her the impression that she meant so much to me that i now can't be friends with her.


anyway, sorry for the novel. what do you think the best course of action is? how can you communicate to someone that you have no hard feelings towards them, but don't want to hang around with them?

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