My face is among the ugliest in the planet - I'm overweight, slouched, have the social skills of a gnat and there is nothing good about me.
I'm one of these people that you call "incel"- involuntary celibates. I'm never going to get a girl to come within a foot of me at this rate, let alone lose my virginity.
I've been told that when you lose it you get a massive confidence boost and you can start getting luckier.
That, combined with plastic surgery on my face, will allow me to be a little happier in my life.
So how about a prostitute? Only £150 for an hour and probably quite fun.
What do you think?