What is the best age to move out of your family home?

Has anybody's parents kicked them out of their family home, given them a deadline to move out - or has anyone willingly left the family home in order to live independently?

What do you think is the best age to move out? How do you manage to support yourself? Is it a struggle? Do you live alone or with housemates? Do you regret moving out and would you prefer to move back in with your family? Has anyone moved back in with their parents after graduation? How was it? Has anyone moved out straight after graduation? How was it?

What conditions should exist or what should a person do to ensure a smooth transition from the family home to independence? How does it feel to be alone and out in the world as a young adult?

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Reply 1

EGjeff

I've been back at my parents for a few weeks now after finishing uni - though just landed the job I want so I'll be moving out again next week!

Personally it's been doing my head in, when you get used to your own space at uni I find my parents grate on me a lot when I'm home, seem to still treat me like a child. Can't wait to move out :smile:

Reply 2

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

I moved out 4 days before my 19th birthday. I moved into a house that I had bought (with financial help from my mother) with my husband (then fiance). I was still in 6th form college (having stayed on an extra year). My other half was working full time, so that's how we supported ourselves. And no, I don't regret moving out when I did - my mother and I had a lot of arguments when we lived with each other!

Reply 3

marky--mark

I've been told that when I leave for uni, I'm not going back as they're selling the house. Not overly bothered though to be honest, it's real independance for once.

Reply 4

LawKiddo

Ok, I am not interested in hearing replies from people who moved out in their teens. Simply because although it's a fantastic achievement, all of my friends went to uni and the first time we all moved out was when we went to uni to do our undergrad degrees. I just think it's really expensive to move out, though living at home (although everything is free) is not the best scenario for a young person who should be making it on their own in the world.

I think ages 20-30 are the most challenging in a person's life - it really is make or break. I just hope everything works out.. nobody knows what the future holds.

Reply 5

Vohamanah

I moved out for university at 18 and haven't moved back. That was definitely the best time for me, I love my parents very much but living with them now would do my head in. I struggle sometimes financially, but I did chose to live in a flat alone in a busy retail part of the city centre, so that's expected. Here's hoping for a pay rise! I also star a second job soon, which will be amazing because I might have spending money for once :biggrin:

Totally worth it, though.

Reply 6

Kate.

Not counting the one year I was at university (halls don't really count, plus I came home loads anyway), I moved out of my mom's house when I was 20, nearly 21 - as soon as I got my first permanent job. For the 2 years I'd been home from uni I'd basically been waiting to be in a good position to move out! Very glad I did, I love living with my boyfriend. I get on brilliantly with my mom (and my dad, but my parents are divorced and I only ever spent weekends there anyway) and I usually see her at least 2-3 times a week, she's only a couple of miles away. I just like my own space! Although I live in a small one bedroom flat with my boyfriend, so actual space is pretty minimal, haha. I didn't find anything about moving out surprising/difficult/a struggle, it was all very straightforward and easy tbh.

Reply 7

LawKiddo

Or am I just a sheltered person being melodramatic?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8

Aack

Original post by LawKiddo

To those moving out: aren't you scared about running out of money/food, losing your job, living with weirdos, meeting criminals or people with dodgy lives. What if my next door neighbour is a drug dealer, or I find myself on a council estate with gangstas, or I am living with an old person. It's quite scary IMHO.

Or am I just a sheltered person being melodramatic?

It's you.

Reply 9

LawKiddo

Hahaha, but my parents house is so comfortable. Everything is free and they love me so much - why would you leave that just to 'grow up'? Are the benefits of growing up really better than the security of a loving home...

Reply 10

Cake Faced Kid.

Original post by LawKiddo

While there's no doubt that they love you, it must be a relief to be rid of you after ~20 years, paying for your food, your electricity etc.

Reply 11

Origami Bullets

Original post by LawKiddo

I've come very close to running out of money (and therefore food), lost my job, lived with weirdos, met criminals / people with dodgy lives, and had a neighbour three doors down in the same building who was a drug dealer.

But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and those sorts of things are just character building. The things I've mentioned all happened whilst I was working abroad, but I was actually very happy during that time!

I effectively left when I went to work abroad. I didn't go home for more than a fortnight at a time for 18 months. I'm not back at home for the summer holidays and counting down the days until I can return to independent living with friends. My parents never kicked me out because they knew it would be completely ineffective - I'd just stay with the other parent until they had calmed down a bit.

I support myself through a combination of student finance and part time / holiday work. It's not a struggle, so long as I budget properly. I live with housemates. I don't regret moving out one iota. I'd prefer to live in the scuzziest areas in a flat with a leaking roof before I moved back home again. This isn't really because home is a particularly bad place, it's just that I value my independence too much!

I think the fundamental conditions that need to exist before moving out are some basic life skills (cooking, paying bills etc.) and a regular income (be that from a job or student finance). How does it feel to be out in the world? Brilliant.

Reply 12

LawKiddo

Thanks for your responses.

Reply 13

username430180

ASAP. I moved out to go to uni and I know it'd kill me if I had to come home after uni.

Reply 14

Damask-

I'm pretty sure my parents are leaving the country as soon as I finish uni, so after those three years of coming back home for the holidays, that'll be it.

Reply 15

littlemissmidget123

im moving out this summer when i go to uni - of course ill come back here in the holidays, but it wont really be home after then.. after uni i probably could come home for a bit, but i dont want to, and my parents dont really think i should.. i couldnt imagine anything worse than living at home past this summer.. ive been ready, prepared and wanting to leave home for 2 yrs now.

Reply 16

Psyk

Original post by LawKiddo

I moved out about 3 months after university when I found a job. The job was away from where my parents live so I had to move really. Obviously the job is how I supported myself. Wasn't amazing pay at first, but enough that it wasn't much of a struggle to support myself.

I lived with housemates at first which was ok. Didn't have any problems with them, but they weren't close friends either. Now I live alone which I quite like.

As for being "alone and out in the world", I don't really feel alone in that sense. I have a good relationship with my parents so I can always ask them for help. I rarely need any financial help from them now, but I can count on them to give me advice on stuff.

Reply 17

kaypc

wow, that's 11 questions you've asked there? lol, for me personally, the best time is ASAP n i pray i'll be financially equipped to not have to move back after uni.

Reply 18

gemmam

I moved out when I was 20 and lived with one of my mates it was fun but I had a bit of a shock not being use to having much spare money as I was used to. I moved back with my parents when she got pregnant and went to live with her boyfriend. I live with my mum and brother atm, however I do pay housekeeping, do my own cooking and washing, buy my own food etc.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my ST18i

Reply 19

JZX26

I may not have moved out from home yet (while I've moved to goto uni, I haven't moved out permanently - my home is still my home, and I'm only living at university during term time so I don't count that as moving out) but here is my opinion on this question.

To tell you the truth, I don't think there is a best age to move out as such. I may have left for university and that kind of makes me feel less at home when going back as I don't live there all the time anymore, but after my experience away from home - here is how I see it. Personally I think it's up to you at what age you move, but the best time to move out is when you are mentally prepared for it in the sense that you can cope with living by yourself with the independence and that you are financially stable should you move out.

Basically, the best case for moving out is probably when you receive a job, can support yourself financially in moving out and can live independently without the reliance of your parents or guardians. The timescale is up to you, and only you can determine what age you feel is best for you to move out.

I know it sounds vague and my opinion probably doesn't mean much, but I hope my input can make some use.