The Student Room Group

Why do girls/women cheat?

I've been debating this with my sister for a few days now, but why do girls or women cheat? I'd especially like to hear from girls who have cheated on guys.

Is it some sort of maturity thing? I guess not because we see it at all levels.

Would you agree that there has been an increase in cheating on the female side in the past decade or two?

What makes you more likely to cheat?

I am aware that if someone is going to cheat then they are going to cheat, but I'm just wondering, to those who cheated, what would have stopped you?

Please don't bring men into this yet, that's another topic


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Scroll to see replies

Gender doesn't determine whether someone will cheat or not. I know guys who have cheated on every partner and I know girls who have cheated on every partner.

The only thing that determines if somebody is going to cheat is their true colours. That is, what they think they'll be able to get away with without anybody finding out. Whether you're XX or XY, if you cheat, you're betraying somebody on the highest scale imaginable and you're utter scum.

It's naive and or ignorant to think gender has anything to do with it.
why do guys cheat? I know u said not to bring guys into it but I think the reason is similar.
Reply 3
usually cuz of the trill of it and not getting caught, ive been cheated and have cheated on other people.
Reply 4
Original post by ToastyCoke
It's naive and or ignorant to think gender has anything to do with it.
While you have a valid point that cheating is about the person and not the gender, I disagree with your conclusion.

Consider a guy and a girl who are identical in everything but gender, also who both are the "cheating type" if such a thing exists, where they would cheat given the right circumstances, and have been known to cheat on all previous partners, who are both in a relationship together. Lets then say that these two people go to two different parties hence being without each other, and while the girl receives lots of guy attention as guys approach her and try to get into her pants, the guy's ability to cheat relies on his ability to hook up with someone at a party which takes a lot more effort on his part and he would only do this if he deliberately wanted to cheat surely? I believe for a guy is harder to find sex - girls are presented with more opportunities to have sex, if they make it clear they want sex a queue will form, for a guy much less so. So what I'm saying is girls have more opportunity to cheat, and love the attention, they find a cute guy come up to them at a party and before they know it, they're in way over their head.

The only valid counter argument you could say is that guys often go round shagging everything with a pulse, whereas girls take sex more seriously. But anyway the OP said not to bring guys into this.
Essentially, girls are presented with lots of easy opportunities. That's my point.
Reply 5
Because they like sausages in there ovens
As the above poster said, gender does not really matter. There is no cause of cheating which is exclusive to one gender.
If my boyfriend isn't showing me the attention and is treating me like I don't exsist, then yeah I will be out seeing somebody else.
Original post by Anonymous
If my boyfriend isn't showing me the attention and is treating me like I don't exsist, then yeah I will be out seeing somebody else.


Wouldn't it be better to deal with the issues with your boyfriend so that you can have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with him?

Failing that, dump him and find someone better/have sex while not being a cheat?
Original post by Anonymous
If my boyfriend isn't showing me the attention and is treating me like I don't exsist, then yeah I will be out seeing somebody else.


This is what's wrong with people today...

If that's the case, could you not do the decent thing and break up with him BEFORE seeing someone else? Even if the guy's horrid, cheating is never an option...

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my ST25i
Reply 10
Girls cheat more because they have more opportunities. If guys had the same amount of opportunities they would cheat just as much.
Original post by MancBoy
Girls cheat more because they have more opportunities. If guys had the same amount of opportunities they would cheat just as much.


I think guys cheat more especially in Asian communities because they know they can get away with it and women will be more accepting compared to guys. not all girls have the opportunity to cheat and not many want to. An Indian girl who is not allowed to go out much or go clubbing etc is less likely to cheat than Indian boy. if u look at Asian movies etc it's always more accepted for a guy to cheat than a girl.

Guys would also cheat if they don't get sex because not many are open minded enough to wait till marriage if that's what a girl believes.
Original post by Anonymous
If my boyfriend isn't showing me the attention and is treating me like I don't exsist, then yeah I will be out seeing somebody else.

I really don't understand why girls do this. If you're not happy then dump him. That way people will have sympathy on your situation when you explain to people why you broke up with him. Instead if you get caught cheating everyone will take sympathy on your boyfriend and ignore any reasoning you have. I know a girl who continuously did that to her old boyfriend and although everyone was nice to her face it was amazing how much people started bitching about her behind her back every day, (I don't really like bitching either but that's a different issue.)

Original post by indianaussie
I think guys cheat more especially in Asian communities because they know they can get away with it and women will be more accepting compared to guys. not all girls have the opportunity to cheat and not many want to. An Indian girl who is not allowed to go out much or go clubbing etc is less likely to cheat than Indian boy. if u look at Asian movies etc it's always more accepted for a guy to cheat than a girl.

Guys would also cheat if they don't get sex because not many are open minded enough to wait till marriage if that's what a girl believes.

Sorry but that applies to both sexes, don't try and pretend only guys can be close minded, the girl I mentioned did give reasons when she finally broke up with him, her main reason was 'after 3 weeks he wasn't ready to have sex with me which I thought was really weird,' that is what she said word for word.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by justanotherposter
I really don't understand why girls do this. If you're not happy then dump him. That way people will have sympathy on your situation when you explain to people why you broke up with him. Instead if you get caught cheating everyone will take sympathy on your boyfriend and ignore any reasoning you have. I know a girl who continuously did that to her old boyfriend and although everyone was nice to her face it was amazing how much people started bitching about her behind her back every day, (I don't really like bitching either but that's a different issue.)


Sorry but that applies to both sexes, don't try and pretend only guys can be close minded, the girl I mentioned did give reasons when she finally broke up with him, her main reason was 'after 3 weeks he wasn't ready to have sex with me which I thought was really weird,' that is what she said word for word.


He did say girls cheat more because they have more opportunities but we can all put forward different surveys with different results. And i was telling them guys can have more opportunities than girls to cheat. Since he is Indian i thought i'd enlighten him that's not the case. Like a survey found high income earning men more likely to cheat as they have more opporunity. I think 32% of guys in the study had cheated.
Girls are not a monolithic group and i can't speak for all girls but i do believe indian girls are less likely to cheat than our guys. It is even more acceptable for indian guys to cheat. I can't speak for how others may act. But i do know many indian origin girls would be happy with a guy who didn't pressurise them for sex.
The OP is from the US so this survey might be interesting for him.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/ns/health-sexual_health/t/many-cheat-thrill-more-stay-true-love/

According to it 44% of men an 36% of women cheat
and that 28% of men and 18% of women admitted to it

and that over 2 decades 22% of married men and 15% of married women cheated.

15% of men compared to 7% of women had engaged in webcam or online sex.

only 2% of them were caught which is probably why they continue with cheating.


These wre the common scenarios found.

The survey did find some common scenarios, however. Cheating tends to happen well into the relationship especially in the three- to five-year zone by a man who is dissatisfied with his sex life or a woman who feels emotionally deprived. The new lover is most often a friend or co-worker, and the typical fling lasts less than a week.

"It can be the 30-year-old guy who's been cohabiting for six years with his girlfriend, or the 45-year old guy who has seemed happily married for 15 years, or, perhaps most surprising, it's the young mom who seems totally wrapped up with her infant and toddler," says Lever.

Advertise | AdChoicesAdvertise | AdChoices
Advertise | AdChoices
.Indeed, having kids is no deterrent. According to the survey, 15 percent of women and 16 percent of men with children ages 2 to 5 years had an affair. An unexpected 7 percent of women and 9 percent of men cheated while there was a baby under the age of 2 in the home.

It also appears that money doesn’t buy marital happiness. For men with money, infidelity is just another perk. Among men making more than $300,000 a year, 32 percent report cheating, compared to 21 percent of men making less than $35,000 a year. Wealth isn't much of a factor in women's cheating.

“Wealthy men may simply have more dating opportunities than men with less income,” says David Frederick, a psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles, who helped analyze the survey findings.
Reply 15
Because some people are led astray too easily...
especially if their own situation isn't great at the time.
Original post by Anonymous
If my boyfriend isn't showing me the attention and is treating me like I don't exsist, then yeah I will be out seeing somebody else.


Well how about you tell him and make an effort to work on the problem to find success in your relationship?

Or are you too short of dignity and willpower and would much rather just go hook up with others? Then wonder why your relationships never work...
I hate it when people say things like once cheater always a cheater or if some is going to cheat they are going to cheat. Especially when these people have not been cheaters, it's really not that black and white and you haven't the faintest idea what your talking. I'm not saying go out and cheat so you can say you've experienced it and make a useful contribution tot his thread, but you just all sound so high and mighty thinking your so much better than 'scum' like me. I understand that some of you make have been in the receiving end of cheating and I can understand that hurts, but it still doesn't make you able to see it from my point of view.

I will freely admit that I cheated on my boyfriend, it's not something I'm proud of, it's not something I will ever try to justify it to you, him or myself, but it happened, he forgave me and we're past it now. I cannot say why I did it, I don't even know. If you are one of those people who say 'it has nothing to do with alcohol' stop reading now. I was very drunk every time and I can honestly say that being teetotal has made a difference.

It's not about getting away with it, I never expected to get away with it, but then I also never expected to do it either, I didn't go out thinking tonight I am going to cheat, the thought didn't enter my mind and its not like I was going up to guys with the intention of cheating, if a guy a approached me, I guess I just didn't know how to say no, that's if my drunk self was able to say anything at all.

I'm not trying to make excuses I'm just trying to answer the OP's question and I'm obviously not doing very well.

But on the subject of once a cheater always a cheater, I cheated after 18 months with my boyfriend, I have not cheated (and don't intend to) in the past 5/6 years (not through lack of opportunity), I could have if I wanted to but by keeping my head clear and learning to say no and mean it I have stayed faithful and will for the foreseeable future. Just because I did it and managed to keep my boyfriend does not mean that I'm prepared to risk it again and just as an end note if you're going to tell me I don't love him, don't bother, you're another one who doesn't know what you're talking about.
Reply 18
How can justify cheating? It's just. :/
Original post by hot hot
usually cuz of the trill of it and not getting caught, ive been cheated and have cheated on other people.


but then you walked around with cum on your face and slept with another man its harldy a suprise youve cheated

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending