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Do you love your parents?

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Reply 80
Original post by velociraptor
You should at least google autism before you diagnose the OP. Lack of empathy and feelings for others is only one symptom and believe me if he had autism, people would have noticed.


Not really, ASD has autism all over the spectrum, some can be slightly autistic while others can be very autistic, I'm saying it could possibly be an Autism spectrum disorder.
Reply 81
Yes I love my mum and dad to bits and seriously don't know what I would do without them! Even through all of the struggles I know they have had they have still managed to take care of me and my siblings. My mum is like my best mate and I love them both to bits! I don't ever want to move out! hahaha
Original post by Rascacielos
I think you're fairly unique OP. I love my parents more than anything and no matter how old I am, I'm going to be distraught when either of them dies. I appreciate a lot of people don't have a close relationship with their parents and some who feel they 'hate' their parents and consequently aren't overly upset when they die. But I've never met someone who seems to quite like their parents but wouldn't care if they died. :dontknow:


I don't know about the OP, but I think this surely depends on your day to day life? I appreciate that (most) people on here are still very young and either still live at home / see their parents a lot, or have done very recently, but I think that for a lot of people this is surely more common as time goes on? It's not about "not caring", obviously, simply about what effect it has on your life. When you've been living away from home for 10 years and only see your parents every 6 months or so, yes you'd care if one of them died, but the impact on your day-to-day life is basically zero. You certainly wouldn't "feel the loss" like you would if you still live with a parent or nearby.

I, personally, also think that the idea that people should "love their family" by default and only feel any other way if they have a "good reason to" is a bit suspect. In my opinion, and AS a parent myself, I think parents should make sure that they earn the love and respect that their children give them, rather than just "expect" it. I think it's a dangerous way of thinking. It's what allows some parents to disrespect their children / treat them however they want (I'm not talking about straight up abuse here - even just things like being ignorant / overly critical / not having time for their children) and still expect unconditional love in return. I don't think that's right, nor fair.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Bhumbauze
I don't know about the OP, but I think this surely depends on your day to day life? I appreciate that (most) people on here are still very young and either still live at home / see their parents a lot, or have done very recently, but I think that for a lot of people this is surely more common as time goes on? It's not about "not caring", obviously, simply about what effect it has on your life. When you've been living away from home for 10 years and only see your parents every 6 months or so, yes you'd care if one of them died, but the impact on your day-to-day life is basically zero. You certainly wouldn't "feel the loss" like you would if you still live with a parent or nearby.

I, personally, also think that the idea that people should "love their family" by default and only feel any other way if they have a "good reason to" is a bit suspect. In my opinion, and AS a parent myself, I think parents should make sure that they earn the love and respect that their children give them, rather than just "expect" it. I think it's a dangerous way of thinking. It's what allows some parents to disrespect their children / treat them however they want (I'm not talking about straight up abuse here - even just things like being ignorant / overly critical / not having time for their children) and still expect unconditional love in return. I don't think that's right, nor fair.


I didn't say people should love their parents and I don't believe that either (although I think you've missed out if you don't). My sole point was that most people do love their parents in some way, shape or form. And your point about people who have moved out not loving their parents as much doesn't stand for me. If you love someone, you don't stop loving them, unless they do something to make you hate them (I'm thinking domestic abuse cases, etc). Sure, when you move out, other things become important so the impact of your parents death isn't so great, but you still love them. And I expect many people are very affected by their parents' death even if they themselves are 30/40/50 with their own family.
I do love them, they are pretty special human beings to me, and if they were to die I would cry buckets and it would take me a long time to recover if I ever would.
Reply 85
I love my parents. I mean they drive me mental sometimes but that's family for you isn't it :P
I love my parents yes. definetely.
Reply 87
I always assumed I did but I've realised from about the age of 14, 15, no, I don't. I got a massive hint that they didn't love me & after a few years of confusion, pain & feeling totally lost I realised that actually they're not very nice people! It's been proved to me 50 times over in the last 20 years & now at the grand old age of 34 they are out of my life forever and I'm now suing them. Since having my daughter nearly 6 years ago I realised they are not just not very nice people, they're bloody evil, they're terrible parents, as child friendly as Herod, they're incredibly stupid, arrogant, self righteous, they should never have had children, they're a danger to them, they shouldn't be together as they just justify each other & make each other the worst versions of themselves they can possibly be, and they're quite chav really. Not people I want near me or my daughter frankly. It hurts that I don't have loving, caring, nice parents I can rely on & turn to & who love me unconditionally, but it hurts more when they're in my life.
My parents and I have always got on, and even more so we've always had respect for each other I think. I couldn't have asked for better parents - whilst they did worry for me (and my dad still does!) they often encouraged me do things for myself from a young age (e.g. pay for sweets at a counter, ring people up on the phone) - and from these small types of experiences, I feel like I've developed into a much confident woman because of it.

When my mum was still alive, I can honestly say I loved her as she was always the person I looked to for advice - and even though we nagged, when she was ill I would do anything for her that I could. My dad and I, have always had a great relationship - almost a 'friendship' (obviously not one similar to a best friend, but a mutual respect and we have a laugh together) and whilst the past year or so has been hard on us, I think the fact I've always had a good relationship with my dad has really helped me now that my mum isn't around.

All I can say, to anyone that 'doesn't love their parents' - just, try and get on. Even if you think they are controlling, mental and nagging - you will honestly miss them so much when they aren't around, whenever that may be. I know there are some horrible people out there that don't want anything to do with their children (which I find honestly baffling) but, if you have any kind of relationship with your parent, try and at least treat each other with respect and salvage/savour that relationship. Most teenagers often don't think about death and that their parents are somewhat invincible - but once they aren't there anymore, you'll soon realise that all the petty arguments don't really matter anymore.
Reply 89
Original post by staring.space

All I can say, to anyone that 'doesn't love their parents' - just, try and get on. Even if you think they are controlling, mental and nagging - you will honestly miss them so much when they aren't around, whenever that may be. I know there are some horrible people out there that don't want anything to do with their children (which I find honestly baffling) but, if you have any kind of relationship with your parent, try and at least treat each other with respect and salvage/savour that relationship. Most teenagers often don't think about death and that their parents are somewhat invincible - but once they aren't there anymore, you'll soon realise that all the petty arguments don't really matter anymore.

Try saying that to a person who hasn't seen his dad since he was like 8/9 and a control freak of a mother who think that her son's a burden to her, pushes him away then goes and says it's a form of love saying that she's only living here at the moment because she wants me to finish my education...what is there to love there. A burden to both your parents...
Original post by Wilfred Little
I love my parents but you know you get those people who are close with their parents and talk to them about stuff? I've never been like that. I've never asked them for advice on relationships, bullying, racism, friendships, anything like that. My sister is the one who talks to them a lot, I don't really but then I've never ever been like that. I don't try to do it I just react how I feel comfortable. When my nan died I was just very private and didn't say anything.

It feels awkward for me to talk to my parents like that or tell them I love them. I don't know why.


This too :frown:

My parents never seem to want to talk even when they know I'm going through a rough patch, and they most definitely don't talk about it when they are either. Believe me, it makes for a very awkward household when someone somewhere in the house is sobbing their heart out and everyone just pretends they can't hear. >Guilty< but then so is everyone else.

Of course I love them though, I didn't realise some people didn't :confused:
Original post by youbonkers
This too :frown:

My parents never seem to want to talk even when they know I'm going through a rough patch, and they most definitely don't talk about it when they are either. Believe me, it makes for a very awkward household when someone somewhere in the house is sobbing their heart out and everyone just pretends they can't hear. >Guilty< but then so is everyone else.

Of course I love them though, I didn't realise some people didn't :confused:


Do you want to be closer to them, to the point where you openly discuss things and ask for advice etc? Sounds like you do. :frown:

I don't, that's the strange thing. :tongue:
Original post by jam277
Try saying that to a person who hasn't seen his dad since he was like 8/9 and a control freak of a mother who think that her son's a burden to her, pushes him away then goes and says it's a form of love saying that she's only living here at the moment because she wants me to finish my education...what is there to love there. A burden to both your parents...


Did you read this part?

I know there are some horrible people out there that don't want anything to do with their children (which I find honestly baffling) but, if you have any kind of relationship with your parent, try and at least treat each other with respect and salvage/savour that relationship.


I know a mate who's practically in the same situation as you, and whilst she hasn't seen her dad in years and her mum is a 'massive control freak' (and can be incredibly unreasonable) - she still tries to make something of it, as much as possible. They don't have the best relationship, but at least they try to respect what each other want. I think that's the most important thing, even if the relationship between child and parent isn't the best thing going.
Only one of them, I haven't spoken to the other in over a decade.
I don't hate them.
Reply 95
I don't love them nor do I hate them.

How would I know if I love them?
Reply 96
I love them except when they're back seat driving. :angry:
Reply 97
Original post by Besakt
I don't love them nor do I hate them.

How would I know if I love them?


If someone were to stab your parents would you cry?
Reply 98
Original post by pnorm
If someone were to stab your parents would you cry?


I don't know probably not, but I wouldn't be jumping around with joy.
I love my mum, not just because she's my mother, but because she's an amazingly strong person who's gone through a lot, but still manages to do the right thing and be a great role model; we're really close and I hope that never changes.

My dad has hardly bothered with me since I was age - wait, no - since I was born. From the age of about 5 to 15, I put way more effort into our relationship than he ever did so although I tell him I love him, I don't actually mean it and if he died then I can't say it would impact my life that much.

My conclusion is that you should love your parents because of who they are, not just because they're related to you.

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