Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

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At the moment I'm getting a few maths teachers coming to me asking me to teach them to make dodecahedra from post-it notes. :colonhash:

And I just spent the last 2 hours making one!

Might take it in to school tomorrow.

Reply 421

JordanS94

Year 9 Maths Class
We were playing a pair game and our teacher said don't go for the obvious ones.
me:"miss, miss I've got a hard one"
Teacher: "Excuse me!!!!"
She was the only one who found it dirty ...

Reply 422

SirMasterKey

Original post by Sir Fox

We had one Geography and Maths teacher who was pretty sarcastic and also hobbled because of a bad leg, so among us he was typically just called 'House', his real name was "Nordmeier".

Tim: "Mr. Nordmeier, what can I do to improve my grades?!"
Nordmeier: "Do you have a little sister?"

Another one was in year 6 (German students are aged 11 or 12 by this time) when he told a girl who constantly forgot her homework to write "Ich bin eine kleine Schlampe!" a hundred times. The German word "schlampig" means both, "messy" and "slutatious" so it was quite ambigous but "Schlampe" normally means "bitch" :biggrin:

While standing at the windows, watching the schoolyard, a young IT teacher once asked us (we were busilly programming in the IT lab) where penguins usually live and one guy replied "Ehm, at the South Pole?", so he replied "Then why is there one wandering around the yard?!". One half of the class rushed to the windows, the other half just kept programming and the teacher smiled and went back to his table :biggrin:

Am proud to have belonged to second group :tongue:

I so want to try this now if I ever become a teacher. :rofl:

haha..

science teacher told us to remember the electromagnetic spectrum with -
gary's xrated urinal videos are most rude
:smile:

Reply 425

cmoore094

This was today guys..

"I have been thinking of you when I go to the toilet for the last 2weeks" - turns out whenever he went to the loo he saw a Speedway poster which he relates to me.

Then we discussed whether it is ok for your boyfriend to watch pornography whilst you are in a relationship.

Reply 426

Lyde

I had a real love/hate thing going on with my friend's cousin when we were in sixth form. He was older, seemed stand-offish, and I thought he was a grumpy prick.

One day, he came to pick her up and we were scowling at each other across the car park.

My head of sixth form walked past me to go to his car and shouted, happy as you like, 'you two will marry each other one day!'

Five years later, we did.

:K:

Reply 427

RetroRocker

At my old school, the teachers had catchphrases.

My German teacher's was: "Are you German?" Everytime anyone got any question right
My French teacher's was: "Errr... Folks..." Which sounded much better with her accent than it does written down...
My French teacher also once said to the entire class: "Folks, there is more energy in Pete Townsend's little finger than there is in this whole room..."

I can also remember a group of us talking to our food tech teacher about children, and she randomly said that she was glad every time she got pregnant bacause her time of the month was really painful. That was followed by an awkward silence...

Ahhh... memories! :P

Reply 428

closey95

I had a headteacher that said to me "If I hear anything else about you, you'll be taking a trip to my office, and then you'll regret misbehaving"

This wasn't weird at first, but he was arrested for being a paedophile, so in hindsight...

Reply 429

hbk4894

my spanish teacher used to call me by my nickname , i didnt want him but he still did it.

Reply 430

Insanity514

Come and put your balls next to my balls-my chemistry teacher.

He often says funny things.

Reply 431

SirMasterKey

Original post by RetroRocker

We had a joke in chemistry that one of the Chemistry teachers regularly got bored of teaching so just got herself pregnant. Our other teacher even laughed with us!

any more?

Teacher taking me home in his car. To the left, crossing the road, are typical chavs - tracksuit-wearing, drinking, pushing prams, swearing etc. He can't remember where I live, so he says 'Right, isn't it?'. 'Yeah'. 'Should've done the gene pool a favour and gone left'.

Reply 434

TattyBoJangles

Me: Sir, I saw a woodpecker outside at lunchtime. (He loves birds)
Chemistry teacher: Oh my goodness, really? Where?
Me: Over in that big tree in the park *points out window*
Chemistry teacher: I'll be right back..

Two minutes later, we saw him running over the school field and into the park.
He didn't get to see the woodpecker and came back inside looking so disappointed.

He is honestly the most inadvertantly funny teacher I know.

Reply 435

TheHansa

We're doing an assembly on Arab culture and well, you look a bit like one so you can be our Arabic man.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 436

Simple Symphony

Original post by TheHansa

We're doing an assembly on Arabic culture and well, you look a bit like one so you can be our Arabic man.

Meh. xD

Reply 437

Simple Symphony

My chemistry teacher paused our chemistry lesson on friday to ask "Who wants me to make them a mug of tea?" He's usually scary and intimidating, so I'm guessing he used hydrochloric acid instead of water :redface:

He spent a good half an hour taking our "orders" and running around school finding enough mugs O.o :coffee:

Reply 438

08rbut

well, my old history teacher said how when she was four years old (she must be at least 60 and completely crazy now) said she want happy she wasn't getting any attention from her parents so got some garden shears, and chopped her little brother's finger off! She said after this she still wasn't happy as she never got any attention from her parents as it was all focused on her brother!

I say my old history teacher is weird and crazy as she makes seriously not funny jokes and we laugh at her when she laughs at her own jokes though she thinks we are laughing at the joke e.g. "And they chopped off his head!" Not funny to me!

There are other things she said, but whether they are too inappropriate, or if its just too awful of me to tell of her life and embarrass her on TSR...

Reply 439

08rbut

Well another as a person not so much just a sentence said is my physics teacher. I could quite frankly write 10 articles about the strangeness of him... I did a graph wrong, he could not tell me it was wrong but he just pulled the weirdest face when i did a curve graph rather a line of best fit, my friend just cracked up!(Most helpfully he explained all the types of graph you can and can't do.)

There was a science quiz in assembly and it chose a winner who received a prize for who ever got the most correct in each year group and my friend won it and the prize was a flippin' coconut! And he was just pissing himself with laughter when they came out a box and people were so surprised and then I just thought "Thats typical!"