Personality weakness

Please keep anon as close friends use this forum.

Right, as soon as someone raises their voice to me or has a go at me I just get really emotional and start crying without wanting to. In situations where I try to prove my point to someone even if it's someone I don't know, I tend to start crying instead of standing up for myself.

For example, today I went to the train station and asked for a return ticket to Cambridge and the guy asked me for £5 more than I normally pay. I politely told him that it's not what I usually pay and that I have railcard and he insisted that I was wrong. So I took out all my past tickets and showed them to him and he still claimed that someone had made a mistake when they charged me when it was actually him who gave me the tickets before. My voice then started cracking and the next minute I was in tears.

I just feel so bad when things like this happen. I seem to cry over small things like this and can't really stand up for myself. Is there anything I can do to 'toughen up'?

Reply 1

gembarla

I know what you mean...
You have to push your self-confidence but I didn´t find a solution for this problem yet because I can´t stand up for myself sometimes either...

Reply 2

sarah♥

You can't help the way you are, it just sounds as though you're slightly oversensitive to pressure or negativity.
There isn't really a way to toughen up tbh
I used to be like you, cry over pretty much anything really.
All you can do really is just learn to shrug your shoulders and keep telling yourself
"it's not the end of the world"
the more often you keep doing that, the more likely you can just accept things that now upset you.

Reply 3

Sun Tzu

Live your life by abiding by this simple advice: Illegitimi Non Carborundum.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

The thing is I believe I'm quite a confident person.I don't have any trouble with anything else(like presenting infront of loads of people or making friends generally).It's just when things like this happen :frown:

Reply 5

dh00001

dont ever supress your feelings. it will ultimatly %%%%%%%% you up deep down.
when you well up, close your eyes, take a deep breath, stretch up to your full height and remove yourself from the situation

Reply 6

gembarla

How do you handle criticism in your everyday life? Because you said your quite confident. Negative comments aren´t nice, nobody likes it to be faced with them. But you shouldn´t take it too personal and shouldn´t become uncertain (i know it´s not that easy how it sounds :wink:

)

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Funnily enough, I don't actually cry over negative criticism as long as it's said to me in a nice way.As soon as they raise their voices then I'm all over the place :frown:

Reply 8

matty600

Nasty train driver!

You may do it more because your expecting it to happen. Next time try and stop yourself, or try not to even register to your self that you are being shouted at.

You obviously don't like confrontation, but sadly its just part of life, so just try and chill next time and don't think "Oh I'm going to cry in a minute" think "I can deal with this imbecile and i will, i won't be reduced to tears over something so petty"

:biggrin:

Reply 9

Sweyn Forkbeard

I also dislike raised voices in conversations as well - it makes me feel very threatened. I don't cry but I normally just cave and accept whatever is being demanded. If I do intend to be stubborn then I'll be passive aggressive e.g. pretending not to hear when people used to shout at me to get out of bed. It's a bit rubbish though, really, and I'd like to develop other means of dealing with conflict situations that don't involve caving or passive aggression.

Reply 10

Lili!

Sun Tzu

Live your life by abiding by this simple advice: Illegitimi Non Carborundum.

excellent, couldn't have put it better!

Reply 11

N_n_N

generally people with low self confidence raise voices. thats how they get over their low self-esteem.

being confident and being sensitive are too different things. apparently, people misjudge a lot.

try not to cry even though you become sensitive over this. it is never a bad thing to be sensitive but just hold back your tears. you are strong and let them know this.