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18 pregnant and want to go UNI!

Hello just wanted advice really...

I recently found out that i'm pregnant (baby due mid December).
I'm finishing my A-levels and i'm due to start university in sept/oct this year.
I don't want to put it off another year as i've already retaken the year at college for my AS however I also don't want to have to take time away from the baby once he/she is born.

The father is around and although I haven't told my family, I believe they will be more than supportive once the initial shock is over! what is the best thing to do?!

I'm going to be taking psychology and was also wondering how many hours/ days i would be doing?
Thank you! :smile:

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Reply 1
I would seriously postpone your studies for at least a year. There's absolutely no way you'll be able to give your full attention to the course with a new born
I completely agree with the above- a uni course is intense enough without a child dependent on you!

If you really wanted to do your course now and not wait could you not ask your uni to do the course part time over 2 years? and go to your nearest university.

And will your family financially support you and the baby plus you and uni living costs? Trust me they are high enough as it is.

Good luck though!
Reply 3
Original post by Kay26
H


Yes Love, university is extremely easy and you will cope just fine. :confused: Is this what you want people to say?

Are you even in the correct mind state cause you seem like you're incapable of thinking rationally.

Of course I'm not suggesting it is not impossible, of course their is a 1% chance. However if you are going to lower tier university then you might actually find more people like you....

To be honest you need to take time out and re think life....

EDIT: Why neg me? My opinion is justified would you prefer i say she should have abortion???

EDIT2: SHE IS GOING TO FAIL LIFE! It is not like i'm saying this?? I mean come on people decision like this need to be thought out , you can't have this expectation you can carry on life as normal... Even smart girls take time out (but also take the pill).. :laugh:
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 4
The number of hours you're expected at uni will depend on the place. Have you got an unconditional or a confirmed choice that you know you'll be going to? If so, you should be able to look up the number of hours of contact time on the Internet or in a prospectus.

I would have to agree with postponing your studies for a year. If the baby is due in mid-December, some courses have exams in January and you won't want your grades or your baby to suffer.

Are you planning to live at home and study somewhere nearby? And do you think your family will support you with childcare?
Reply 5
However it's not impossible. Some one on my housemates course came to uni pregnant and had her baby during first term. However i believe she had a husband/partner and a second child at halls (family section)
What everyone else said. Postpone it for a bit.
Then you could start uni in your twenties? I started uni when I was 20 :smile:
Reply 7
Do you think you would be happier studying part-time? I'm sure if you contacted your unis they would allow you to do this. It means less contact hours and you could possibly commute? Many unis also have a creche for their students children or can help you find suitable child care whilst you are studying
Reply 8
You could do an Open University course and work from home? That or try and find a university with pram-friendly lecture theatres and baby-proof halls :dontknow:
[QUOTE="ITGIRL;37140574"]Yes, Love university is extremely easy and you will cope just fine. :confused: Is this what you want people to say?

Are you even in the correct mind state cause you seem like you're incapable of thinking rationally.

Of course I'm not suggesting it is not possible, of course their is a 1% chance. However if you are going to lower tier university then you might actually find more people like you....

To be honest you need to take time out and re think life....[/QUOTE

How snobbish and patronising is that above post!

The girl only came on here for some advice.. no need to be so judgmental.

I'm just about to graduate from a Russel Group university and a guy in one of my classes has just had a kid.

It IS possible, you just have to consider everything and prepare yourself for some intense work.

Personally, I recommend not going- enjoy that time with your baby, they are only that young once!
But if you have family who can support you with love, child care, and finances then live your life too and go!
Reply 10
Nothing wrong with being a bit older when you go to uni. I'd say postpone for a year. As someone who's an uncle to two nieces who are around 2 years old each I can tell you young babies really do need a lot of attention. If you postpone it for a year or two your child will be old enough that perhaps you can leave it with a family member while you're at uni. Do you really want to waste 9k only to realise halfway through the year you can't cope?
I would postpone uni for a year. There's no way you're going to be able to have a baby then go straight back to uni and focus on your studies when you have a newborn. In an ideal world you would give birth just before or during the xmas holidays, have a few weeks off from uni then go back and have someone look after your baby while you are there. But you never know what is going to happen, every pregnancy and birth is different. You could give birth weeks earlier or later during an important time at university (exams or coursework/presentations due in), you could have complications (i.e a Caesarean or be put on bed rest etc) meaning you are not physically able to go to university before or after the birth, you may not feel emotionally able to go straight back to university or do your studies etc. Then there's the issue of childcare, being woken up by the baby numerous times during the night, money, having time to study etc. (I watch too much Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant).
(edited 11 years ago)
it depends on if you feel you can handle it i would say probably take a year out again IF you can. it would definitely help. you never know how your body will react, post-natal depression etc, even if you have no negative affects, the child will need alot of attention and care, if your studying from home and have parents to help out it won't be as bad but if you plan to go to the uni and live their it may be harder even with family accommodation.

look into your options and definitely tell your family asap see how they feel what they're prepared to do and any advice they have for you. your going to have to tell them at some point. the fact that they dont know means your not showing so its quite early on. dont leave it as a last minute surprise, bite the bullet, tell them then plan from their :smile: good luck
Firstly, congratulations :smile:

Secondly, I'd put off another year. But that's just me.
My advice is to have an abortion. You know it makes sense.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 15
Original post by MikeySwansea
My advice is to have an abortion.


You beat me to it, yes abortion is the way to go. You can have a kid at any time of your life.
Reply 16
Original post by Vanilla*Pod


o!


Yes and i gave her rational advice? The logic she has applied to her situation is irrational. Regardless of the fact if she has people helpping her she will have have to make choice between the child and her work. Many girls go through the same situation and either end up dropping out or doing **** at the degree...

I ain't being judgemental people make loads of wrong decison in life and live to regert them after. She can still go to university but not necessarily soon....
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 17
I had a 28 year old woman with 2 kids aged 3 and 5 and she had a baby sitter for when she would come to uni. She dropped out after the first year because she struggled to manage studying with kids.
Original post by Kay26
Hello just wanted advice really...

I recently found out that i'm pregnant (baby due mid December).
I'm finishing my A-levels and i'm due to start university in sept/oct this year.
I don't want to put it off another year as i've already retaken the year at college for my AS however I also don't want to have to take time away from the baby once he/she is born.

The father is around and although I haven't told my family, I believe they will be more than supportive once the initial shock is over! what is the best thing to do?!

I'm going to be taking psychology and was also wondering how many hours/ days i would be doing?
Thank you! :smile:


Congratulations,but I really do not think it would be a good idea for you to go to Uni this year. Have you thought of finance, accommodation for you and your baby, distance of the uni from home?, who is going to help you out when the baby arrives(yes you would need help), if you do go to Uni how much time would you take out when the baby is born?..there's loads more to think about that I've not written down..as you probably know.I would advice you to defer uni for a year and work as much as you can till you deliver(you can never have too much money)..and you can also go through some of the modules you'll be taking by the time you get to uni the next year ...................I'm sure you'll end up doing what you want but good luck.
You should come over to the pregnancy and parenting society we have got going on here. :smile: It will be useful to get some practical advice from those who have experience in juggling university and family life.

I think perhaps the most difficult thing would actually be missing the baby as they are so young and the emotional side of leaving him/her whilst you studied. You can always intercalate at Christmas, then you've got your first term out the way and then come back the following Christmas with a lovely 1 year old, which is probably what I would do.

The main thing I would say about doing this is to make sure you have a plan. Have you got supportive partner/family/friends? Have you considered what childcare you'd use? Have you asked the university how much time you can have off? (I think it's 4 weeks usually) Have you thought about what you would do around exam time? Have you looked at the contact hours on the course? Plan, plan, plan!


Feel free to PM me :smile:

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