Muslims that still live with parents + going out

I'm an 18 year old girl living with muslim parents (I plan to move out for uni though) and was interested to hear curfews and rules from others with muslim parents. I just want to say that I myself do not consider myself a strict muslim. I believe in God but I'm not sure I agree with a lot of muslim rules etc. My parents don't pray, my dad drinks, but they've always been kinda strict with my sister and me. I have to let them know a couple of days before I go out where I'm going, when I'll be back, and sometimes they'll say I can't go for practically no reason. When I was 16 they wouldn't let me go out for a meal with friends at 6pm on a Friday because the city centre would be full of 'drunk hooligans'. I'm allowed out occasionally until around 10pm with friends if I'm going out for a meal or something, but they seem pretty intrusive with it and I can tell they don't approve. (My dad often asks why I don't just go out earlier). :rolleyes:

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Uni is my ticket out of here!! I want to move precisley for that reason.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by bananacake14

what's your question?

If you're muslim / from a muslim family and still live with your parents, what are their rules on you going out? As in do you have a curfew, do you have to tell them who you're with beforehand, that kind of thing. Sorry - I didn't make that clear in my OP.

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

My parents used to be really strict on me, but they realised that it had an impact on my social life, and both of them, when they see me out, generally let me take my time.

I think it might be worse because you're a girl?

Reply 4

HumiT

I just tell my parents who I'm going out with on the day and they're cool with it cuz they know I'm not going to do anything stupid and they know most of my friends. As for curfew depends, they don't mind me staying at my friends till late but not too sure about staying out till late in the city centre because I've never had a reaosn to do that.

EDIT : I'm a girl, if that helps

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 5

bananacake14

Original post by Anonymous

Oh right. I'm not a muslim sorry :P

Reply 6

tsrstar

I come from a Muslim household, I’m not religious myself and I’ve never been given any strict curfews. I've moved back home now, and commute to uni which isn’t so bad because my parents are (Almost) awesome.

They've never given me a strict curfew, but they prefer i tell them where I’m going, and what time i might be back by. (For their peace of mind)
I've never given my parents a reason to enforce any strict rules.. Well, no reasons that their aware of anyway :wink:

There’s only one thing i doubt my parents would be 'cool' with, and that’s the boyfriend issue. *Sigh* I'll forever remain alone. :sad:

I take back my earlier comment. My parents aren’t awesome. They’re evil dictators.

Reply 7

Ayah

My parents are cool with me going out with friends and stuff, not clubbin obviously, and they want me home before 8-9pm, because im a girl. yupp i hate that fact, but there's nothin i can do. My big brother goes out late, **** knows what he's upto and comes home 12-2am. My parents let him cos he the oldest and he's a guy. it ****iinn pisses me off! Cant wait till i start uni nxt year inshallah, cannot wait.... :wink:

Reply 8

The Cornerstone

I think that's less to do with them being muslims and more with them being hypocrites (no offence)

Reply 9

Ayah

Original post by tsrstar

There’s only one thing i doubt my parents would be 'cool' with, and that’s the boyfriend issue. *Sigh* I'll forever remain alone. :sad:

I take back my earlier comment. My parents aren’t awesome. They’re evil dictators.

^I know tell me about it. They never bring up the subject;marriage, but remind me that it's haraam to date and have a boyfriend..
I don't wanna be aloneeeeeeee!

Reply 10

Fuero

I tell my parents where I'm going and who I'm going with beforehand, and they're usually fine with it if it's in cycling distance (no more than 20 minutes to the city centre). My curfew usually depends on what I'm going to do, but I've never been home after 12:30.
I might add that I don't go out to clubs/bars and I don't drink.

Reply 11

Ayah

Original post by The Cornerstone

I think that's less to do with them being muslims and more with them being hypocrites (no offence)

Hahaha, OMG thats so true!!!

My dad ocasionally tell us 'stories' about his time as a 'handsome' lad and tells me about how coool he was and when he went parties, LOOOL

Not fair -.-

Reply 12

Charzhino

oh look its the word MUSLIMS on tsr AGAIN

Reply 13

takethyfacehence

Sounds like your parents are just making it up as they go along...

Reply 14

Luxray

I feel your pain. Its always leads to them using a random story about how a muslim guy become a 'yob' and started drinking and partying. And I just think to myself 'why can't you trust me!'
Then they use the 'community issue'.... what if someone they knew saw me and started gossiping, I'd bring shame to them even if the gossip was dramatised.
I think you should do what I do and just play their pathetic life controlling game and bide your time for your second or third year and ask them that you need to live in because you will concentrate better at uni. I mean amongst all the social problems you get for having unreasonable parents, commuting itself takes up quite a lot of time and can become very frustrating.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by takethyfacehence

Sounds like your parents are just making it up as they go along...

Yup, more or less. They'd never let me go to sleepovers with friends when I was younger, but I think that's more a cultural rather than a religious thing, (to not stay over at people's houses unless they're close family :rolleyes:

Reply 16

tsrstar

Original post by Ayah

^I know tell me about it. They never bring up the subject;marriage, but remind me that it's haraam to date and have a boyfriend..
I don't wanna be aloneeeeeeee!

I feel your pain. :console:

I'm hoping my mums forgotten all about the marriage subject. Though that would be highly unlikely. As for the no dating.. What they don't know, can't hurt you. :wink2:

Reply 17

Luxray

Original post by Ayah

Oh how bloody annoying, its worse when the decide to apply different rules for different people. If its any consolation, I'm the oldest and I'm a guy and my parents are pretty harsh with me. 11pm is like my curfew. But thats not enough time to actually be able to go out clubbing so no point even going out at night

Reply 18

Anonymous #4

LOL its kinda funny how everyone points out the faults their parents have but yet dont look at whether they may just be asking for too much, i guess you'll all only realise when you become parents yourselves :smile: