Girl only sees me as a brother

Hey guys,

I've been having feelings for this girl I met last term. We seem to be getting quite close together in the last few weeks, but this week she just told me that 'I am the brother she never had'. Is it basically over now? :frown:

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Reply 1

D-Day

She's told you how she feels. The logical next step is to reciprocate and go from there.

Reply 2

Angrybanana

Oh dear. Sorry, but if she thinks of you as a brother she's unlikely to make a pass at you anytime soon.

Reply 3

limechateaux

Yeah, I have to agree with above poster. If she mentions it again you could make a joke out of it, saying, 'hahah that's all?' To see how she responds, but, I wouldn't expect too much. Sorry. :frown:

Reply 4

randdom

There is still a chance. Tell her how your feel this valentines day and see how she responds. If you like her then surely it is worth that risk?

Reply 5

Tyler Durden

randdom

There is still a chance. Tell her how your feel this valentines day and see how she responds. If you like her then surely it is worth that risk?

Unless the girl is into incest, I disagree entirely with the above. You have launched yourself straight into the infamous 'friend zone' (do not pass Go, do not collect a lot of sex). I can actually picture some of the conversations you have had: some guy she fancies and she wants your opinion, helping her decide what clothes she should wear, so and so amongst her friends is being really bitchy, etc etc. A lot of very sweet, advice-giving, ear-lending, but ultimately boring conversation that has about as much chance of making her attracted to you as a hefty bout of genital warts. Sorry, looks like it's going to have to be brother and sister. Indeed, the very fact that she has taken the time to liken you to a sibling suggests to me that she knows you fancy her and wants to pre-empt and avoid any rash and embarrassing confessions of love on your part.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

randdom

There is still a chance. Tell her how your feel this valentines day and see how she responds. If you like her then surely it is worth that risk?

We've already planned to go on Valentine's day together. But she was asking me questions such as 'what if some other guy asked me to spend time with him?'.... :'(

Reply 7

Tyler Durden

Anonymous

We've already planned to go on Valentine's day together. But she was asking me questions such as 'what if some other guy asked me to spend time with him?'.... :'(

QED.

Reply 8

randdom

englishstudent

Have to disagree there. Just because she seems him as a friend now does not mean that this view can't change. If she has no idea that he likes her then finding this out could change her opinion.

Keeping the fact that he likes her to himself is not really healthy. If he has a really big crush the best way to get over it is to talk to her. If she feels the same or thinks she could do then great there is a chance there. If she doesn't the atleast he has had that confirmed and can work on getting over her. Otherwise part of him maybe forever wondering what if I had said something would it have made a difference.

Reply 9

Danielle89

Might want to make sure she doesnt think you're gay...

Just because I went to see Over Her Dead Body and it can sometimes be assumed a guy is gay and it can go on for years so you're best to make some sort of statement letting her know she's your umm... target market?

Reply 10

supernova2

Get it on with another girl and see what happens. Make her jealous yeah!

Reply 11

The Lyceum

Maybe she's into incest?

Reply 12

Profesh

englishstudent

Yeah. This.

Reply 13

katie1x

no please dont do anything for the sake of your friendship. i was really good friends with a guy and i saw him as my brother becasue we were so close, but a while ago he told me he had feelings for me and it has not been the same ever since. i felt bad because i started to think that i had led him on, and he was really embarrased. i feel no different towards him but our friendship has completly changed as he hardly talks to me anymore. only say something if you are sure she feels the same way.

Reply 14

jrhartley

englishstudent is right. the fact she has told you that she sees you as a brother, and as you said asked you what to do if another guy asks her out for valentine's night shows that she probably has picked up on the fact you like her in a non platonic way and is trying to diffuse the situation in a manner that will preserve your friendship and avoid any awkwardness from you pouring your heart out. girls are good like that. she would not have said both things by accident, and the brother thing is a coded, carefully worded way to let you know how the ground lies.

start looking elsewhere if you're after something more than just friendship would be my advice, and don't tell her your feelings unless you're prepared for the whole friendship thing to become really messy.

Reply 15

em1n3m

Man, be happy. That type of friendship has much more meaning than a little 'bang' and it can last for so much longer.

If you're just after 'some', then maybe you're looking in the wrong place.

Reply 16

Toy Soldier

Anonymous

'I am the brother she never had'

Ouuuuch, kiss of death! That's code right there. Not only does it mean it's not going to happen - it means she's realised how you feel, and is telling you that it's not going to happen.

Reply 17

Tagit

Re: Best mate planning to ask me out

Tagit

Tell him he's like a brother to you/really good friend next time you see him, thats the ultimate cock block.

Reply 18

sm99009

This thread would be much more interesting if she was your sister.

Reply 19

Ironic_

For me at least, if I say that someone is like my brother, the thought of being with them romantically repulses me as much as it would with my actual brother, however much I like the friend. However I know that girls like to play what is percieved as mind games sometimes, and so there may be hope for you yet (we haven't observed the situation, so we can't say for sure). Maybe she likes you, but has given up hope that you like her and so came out with that comment because she thinks you've picked up on her liking you and wants to save face, I don't know. That's the only reason I can think of i'd use that line and not mean it.

So i'd lean towards yes, it is pretty much over in that sense, but keep your eyes and ears open.