Well, I have smoked for almost half my life now, and I am not very old. In the early years, it was a sign of being a rebel, of thinking contrary to popular perception, of being carefree and brave, of being untied and free in all ways, of wishing away troubles in smoke (there is a popular film song in India along the same lines as well)! And I enjoyed it, with friends, teachers, bosses, co-workers, girl friends and other women.
From that, it kept on growing until I was smoking 20 on a good day and close to 40 on a bad (stressful, when the world is unyielding and people unkind) one. And then one day, I collapsed and ended in the intensive care because the blood oxygen had dropped very low. I am also an asthmatic, by the way!
With all the doctors' warnings, I promised never to touch it again. It has been four years since. And I haven't kept my promise. Though I smoke very cautiously now and for very specific reasons: to celebrate (very) good company, an achievement at the end of a hard week's hard work, anxiety bouts, stress and when I am trying to make sense of the world around me. I don't smoke every day, especially when I am feeling wheezy, and some days I smoke upto 5. So I guess it balances out!
But I am looking to start my PhD in England this October, and I wonder if what to do! You see, I will leave my wife and kid behind when I come to England. And in such times of loneliness and intellectual solitude, I tend to smoke more, and not less. I guess I will have my answers by this Christmas.